Send us a text

Platonic friendship isn’t supposed to feel impossible — but for gay men, it often does. In this episode, I dig into the viral Threads post that pulled in over 250,000 views and thousands of comments from men saying the same thing: I want connection, but I don’t know how.

We get into the real reasons why: validation chasing, hookup culture, shame, and the conditioning that makes every new interaction feel like it has to be about sex. I talk about what it means to crave friendship but not have the skills to build it, why “low-maintenance” friends aren’t the flex they think they are, and yes, why half my gay friends are hot — and that’s not a problem.

This episode is about honesty. About saying the quiet parts out loud. About why so many of us are lonely even when we’re surrounded by people. And it’s about starting the conversation that no one else seems to be having: friendship isn’t hard, it’s unpracticed.

👉 New here? Follow Virgin Vodka Soda on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
📱 TikTok, Instagram & Threads: @QueerRecovery

Send us a text

You’re not too busy. You’re avoiding yourself.

In this episode, I unpack the cycle of chasing, crashing, and craving clarity — but never letting yourself sit still long enough to get it. We talk about “someday” reality, healing as performance, and why high-functioning gay men (yes, you) keep filling their calendars instead of facing their truth.

We cover:

• Why silence feels unsafe to your nervous system
• How healing became a brand (and a distraction)
• What performative vulnerability actually looks like
• Why you keep matching, texting, spiraling, and repeating
• And what changes when you stop outrunning your life

This isn’t about “doing the work.”
This is about being still long enough to let the work matter.

🎧 Listen to Virgin Vodka Soda on Apple + Spotify
💬 Like, follow, subscribe, and comment on TikTok, Instagram, and Threads
📱 @QueerRecovery — for when your healing finally gets honest.

Send us a text

Let’s talk about the moments you don’t speak up. Not because you can’t. But because you’ve convinced yourself that being “chill” or “healed” means staying silent. Even when you don’t want to go to Cheesecake Factory.

This episode is for the high-functioning gay or queer man who knows their attachment style, knows their triggers, knows their trauma… and is still spiraling over a 30-minute text delay. You’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re stuck in performative healing — and no meme account is gonna fix it.

In this episode, I break down:

• Why insight without action keeps you stuck
• How “the work” became a performance (and a trap)
• Why knowing your patterns isn’t the same as interrupting them
• What emotional integration actually looks like in real life (hint: it’s awkward, human, and unfiltered)
• How to stop spiraling and start living with your whole damn self

If you’ve ever said, “I’ve done too much work to still feel this fucked up,” this one’s for you.

📱 Follow @QueerRecovery on TikTok, Instagram, and Threads

Stop performing. Start living. Even if you still end up at Cheesecake Factory.