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Annaliese and Alan talk about how fixating on outcomes in life can quietly consume your limited energy in the present moment. Annaliese shares how our deeper invitation is to notice how we actually feel in and about our lives right now—and to intentionally prioritize spending our primary resources (time, money, attention, and energy) on what we can realistically influence today. When we shift our focus to what’s within our control in the present, we regain steadiness, clarity, and a greater sense of peace.

You’ll Hear About:

• Spending too much time picturing, preparing, and planning for the future? Planning can be healthy and helpful—when it’s grounded in the reality of the present. When it’s not, it drains your energy, increases anxiety, and leaves you feeling defeated or incapable. Learning to let go of what you can’t control and re-anchor your focus in what you can helps restore joy, motivation, confidence, and emotional stability.

• How to notice where your focus lives most often (past, present, or future) and what it’s costing you. The present moment is where your power actually exists. You are only responsible for your own thoughts, actions, and how you navigate your feelings—and that work can only happen now.

• When focusing on a future outcome—even a meaningful one—causes you to abandon the present. Living as if peace, rest, or fulfillment can only come after an outcome steals the very resources you need to grow, thrive, and move forward today.

Your Free Coaching Call:

• Experience how coaching can help you gain results you want in your life! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese. Share where you're at and what you're working on, and gain practical, supportive guidance for creating real change.

Practices:

STEPS TO LET GO OF FIXATING ON THE OUTCOME: Spending more resources on the future than the present often steals from your current quality of life—it doesn’t guarantee the future. This present reality is your life. More things probably matter to you than just the outcome you’ve been fixating on (even when it’s very important). How can you free up your resources to do the living you need and want for today?

1. Notice where your focus is and what it’s costing you. Pay attention to your body sensations, emotions, and recurring thoughts to show you where your focus and attention are going. Your focus directs how you spend your limited resources of time, energy, attention, and money. Reflect on where your resources are going and how that’s shaping your current quality of life.

2. Practice accepting what’s in your control—and what’s not. You can influence outcomes through your thoughts, attitudes, and actions, but you can’t ensure certainty. Remembering the natur of life and what's outside of your control helps you feel your own capability and wisdom again. Your limited resources are best spent creating the stability, peace, and consistency you need the present.

3. Slow down once a week for a Values and Balance Check-In. Notice where your daily energy (of just you being you) feels out of balance. Where are your attention/action choices helping—or hurting—you most? What does this reveal about what you value, and what else might deserve more attention? Small, honest reflections here can lead to meaningful daily shifts.

Annaliese and Alan talk about perfectionism in practical ways that actually help you in the moment. Annaliese explores how perfectionism often disguises itself as the “right way” to be, think, or live—when in reality, it slowly disconnects you from your authenticity, agency, and inner clarity. You’ll uncover how perfectionism undermines personal growth by demanding control over things you can’t control in order to succeed. Instead of helping you reach your goals, it quietly works against your true desires. Listen for how to plug back into your aligned values and support your emotional well-being on the way to your goals.

You’ll Hear About How:

• Perfectionism can feel compelling, like it’s the only acceptable way to pursue growth or success. But notice how it makes you feel—pressured, defeated, or trapped without choices. These feelings are often signals that you’re disconnected from your true desires and natural capability.

• Perfectionism feeds you impossible rules about life and about yourself: you can’t change your mind, you must know the right way ahead of time, you have to get it right the first time, and failure isn’t allowed. These standards don’t create effectiveness, confidence, or peace.

• Perfectionism is a form of self-protection and self-reliance that doesn’t actually provide motivating safety, trust, or strength. Seeking control distracts you from what’s more powerful—your built-in courage to live authentically without certainty.

Your Free Coaching Call: Have a coaching session with Annaliese yourself! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat and see how coaching gives you clarity, mindset support, and practical next steps.

TIPS FOR NAVIGATING PERFECTIONISM: Perfectionism feels like pressure, stress, rigidity, and defeat because it says you need certainty to be “right.” Real freedom comes from remembering you need courage—not control—to live purposefully and effectively. And courage is always available inside you!

1. Reflect on what you truly want and specify your aim and goal Caring about doing things well is healthy, but notice how you’re approaching excellence. Decide how you want the process to feel as you grow, live your life, and pursue your goals.

2. Notice if you’re criticizing, undermining, or defeating yourself Self-criticism makes change harder, not easier. How you treat yourself during growth or progress matters even more than the outcome, because it's shaping you as a person.

3. Handle your disappointments with empowerment, not punishment Use disappointments and mistakes to clarify your focus not disqualify you. Letting yourself experiment more freely helps you show back up with renewed belief, trust, and self-compassion instead of tearing yourself down.

Annaliese and Alan talk about one of the most overlooked foundations of real personal growth: learning to love yourself. This episode reframes self-compassion as more than a concept that sounds good or feels good—it’s meant to become a brand new foundation of love for yourself that effectively fuels any change you hope to make. Instead of growing from a basis of self-criticism or judgment, this conversation invites you to see yourself from a new angle, soften the lens you use on yourself, and shift your focus toward how you treat yourself day to day.

You’ll Hear About:

• How real self-compassion means learning to see yourself through a lens of love instead of criticism or judgment. Where you usually approach change from a pain point or a judgmental stance, notice there is another way: “God doesn’t change us in order to love us. He loves us into change.”

• Seeing and identifying your own walls that come up against practicing self-compassion. Treating yourself from a starting point of kindness and love, even before you’ve made changes, might feel uncomfortable, but will be infinitely more effective.

• The reasons that harsh, rigid, judgmental ways of motivating yourself can work temporarily for outcomes, but end up undermining your quality of life. And why accepting that you matter and deserve to be loved in your life is the building block for genuine change and transformation.

Tips to Practice Love That Fuels Your Growth The outcome is not all that matters in your life. You matter in your life. The best way to actually feel that is to live out a new foundation of love for yourself—not self-criticism or judgment.

• Hang out with yourself more in your day. Think about your day like, “I’m with myself today.” Check in more often: Did I hang out with myself, or did I leave myself behind? Did I show up only to correct myself?

• Treat yourself like you’re a person who matters too. If other people are supposed to matter to you, remember—you are an “other person” to them as well, so it makes sense to practice seeing yourself as lovable, valuable, and significant!

• Actually practice your relationship with yourself. Pay attention to yourself. Factor yourself into your choices. Ask: What’s my thought life like right now? How am I feeling? What am I doing and why? Pick one small way to act like you matter today. Treat yourself like you’re worth showing up for. Practice and repeat your relationship with yourself daily.

Your Free Coaching Call: -Have a coaching session with Annaliese yourself! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share what you hope for and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips to make real changes in your life.

Want more on self-compassion? Listen to Wake Your Dream episode 47.