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Annaliese and Alan talk about how fixating on outcomes in life can quietly consume your limited energy in the present moment. Annaliese shares how our deeper invitation is to notice how we actually feel in and about our lives right now—and to intentionally prioritize spending our primary resources (time, money, attention, and energy) on what we can realistically influence today. When we shift our focus to what’s within our control in the present, we regain steadiness, clarity, and a greater sense of peace.

You’ll Hear About:

• Spending too much time picturing, preparing, and planning for the future? Planning can be healthy and helpful—when it’s grounded in the reality of the present. When it’s not, it drains your energy, increases anxiety, and leaves you feeling defeated or incapable. Learning to let go of what you can’t control and re-anchor your focus in what you can helps restore joy, motivation, confidence, and emotional stability.

• How to notice where your focus lives most often (past, present, or future) and what it’s costing you. The present moment is where your power actually exists. You are only responsible for your own thoughts, actions, and how you navigate your feelings—and that work can only happen now.

• When focusing on a future outcome—even a meaningful one—causes you to abandon the present. Living as if peace, rest, or fulfillment can only come after an outcome steals the very resources you need to grow, thrive, and move forward today.

Your Free Coaching Call:

• Experience how coaching can help you gain results you want in your life! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese. Share where you're at and what you're working on, and gain practical, supportive guidance for creating real change.

Practices:

STEPS TO LET GO OF FIXATING ON THE OUTCOME: Spending more resources on the future than the present often steals from your current quality of life—it doesn’t guarantee the future. This present reality is your life. More things probably matter to you than just the outcome you’ve been fixating on (even when it’s very important). How can you free up your resources to do the living you need and want for today?

1. Notice where your focus is and what it’s costing you. Pay attention to your body sensations, emotions, and recurring thoughts to show you where your focus and attention are going. Your focus directs how you spend your limited resources of time, energy, attention, and money. Reflect on where your resources are going and how that’s shaping your current quality of life.

2. Practice accepting what’s in your control—and what’s not. You can influence outcomes through your thoughts, attitudes, and actions, but you can’t ensure certainty. Remembering the natur of life and what's outside of your control helps you feel your own capability and wisdom again. Your limited resources are best spent creating the stability, peace, and consistency you need the present.

3. Slow down once a week for a Values and Balance Check-In. Notice where your daily energy (of just you being you) feels out of balance. Where are your attention/action choices helping—or hurting—you most? What does this reveal about what you value, and what else might deserve more attention? Small, honest reflections here can lead to meaningful daily shifts.

Annaliese and Alan talk about perfectionism in practical ways that actually help you in the moment. Annaliese explores how perfectionism often disguises itself as the “right way” to be, think, or live—when in reality, it slowly disconnects you from your authenticity, agency, and inner clarity. You’ll uncover how perfectionism undermines personal growth by demanding control over things you can’t control in order to succeed. Instead of helping you reach your goals, it quietly works against your true desires. Listen for how to plug back into your aligned values and support your emotional well-being on the way to your goals.

You’ll Hear About How:

• Perfectionism can feel compelling, like it’s the only acceptable way to pursue growth or success. But notice how it makes you feel—pressured, defeated, or trapped without choices. These feelings are often signals that you’re disconnected from your true desires and natural capability.

• Perfectionism feeds you impossible rules about life and about yourself: you can’t change your mind, you must know the right way ahead of time, you have to get it right the first time, and failure isn’t allowed. These standards don’t create effectiveness, confidence, or peace.

• Perfectionism is a form of self-protection and self-reliance that doesn’t actually provide motivating safety, trust, or strength. Seeking control distracts you from what’s more powerful—your built-in courage to live authentically without certainty.

Your Free Coaching Call: Have a coaching session with Annaliese yourself! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat and see how coaching gives you clarity, mindset support, and practical next steps.

TIPS FOR NAVIGATING PERFECTIONISM: Perfectionism feels like pressure, stress, rigidity, and defeat because it says you need certainty to be “right.” Real freedom comes from remembering you need courage—not control—to live purposefully and effectively. And courage is always available inside you!

1. Reflect on what you truly want and specify your aim and goal Caring about doing things well is healthy, but notice how you’re approaching excellence. Decide how you want the process to feel as you grow, live your life, and pursue your goals.

2. Notice if you’re criticizing, undermining, or defeating yourself Self-criticism makes change harder, not easier. How you treat yourself during growth or progress matters even more than the outcome, because it's shaping you as a person.

3. Handle your disappointments with empowerment, not punishment Use disappointments and mistakes to clarify your focus not disqualify you. Letting yourself experiment more freely helps you show back up with renewed belief, trust, and self-compassion instead of tearing yourself down.

Annaliese and Alan talk about one of the most overlooked foundations of real personal growth: learning to love yourself. This episode reframes self-compassion as more than a concept that sounds good or feels good—it’s meant to become a brand new foundation of love for yourself that effectively fuels any change you hope to make. Instead of growing from a basis of self-criticism or judgment, this conversation invites you to see yourself from a new angle, soften the lens you use on yourself, and shift your focus toward how you treat yourself day to day.

You’ll Hear About:

• How real self-compassion means learning to see yourself through a lens of love instead of criticism or judgment. Where you usually approach change from a pain point or a judgmental stance, notice there is another way: “God doesn’t change us in order to love us. He loves us into change.”

• Seeing and identifying your own walls that come up against practicing self-compassion. Treating yourself from a starting point of kindness and love, even before you’ve made changes, might feel uncomfortable, but will be infinitely more effective.

• The reasons that harsh, rigid, judgmental ways of motivating yourself can work temporarily for outcomes, but end up undermining your quality of life. And why accepting that you matter and deserve to be loved in your life is the building block for genuine change and transformation.

Tips to Practice Love That Fuels Your Growth The outcome is not all that matters in your life. You matter in your life. The best way to actually feel that is to live out a new foundation of love for yourself—not self-criticism or judgment.

• Hang out with yourself more in your day. Think about your day like, “I’m with myself today.” Check in more often: Did I hang out with myself, or did I leave myself behind? Did I show up only to correct myself?

• Treat yourself like you’re a person who matters too. If other people are supposed to matter to you, remember—you are an “other person” to them as well, so it makes sense to practice seeing yourself as lovable, valuable, and significant!

• Actually practice your relationship with yourself. Pay attention to yourself. Factor yourself into your choices. Ask: What’s my thought life like right now? How am I feeling? What am I doing and why? Pick one small way to act like you matter today. Treat yourself like you’re worth showing up for. Practice and repeat your relationship with yourself daily.

Your Free Coaching Call: -Have a coaching session with Annaliese yourself! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share what you hope for and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips to make real changes in your life.

Want more on self-compassion? Listen to Wake Your Dream episode 47.

In This Episode: Annaliese and Alan dig into how the way you see yourself shapes the way you think, speak, and act. When you’re trying to grow, your inner picture matters. Annaliese shares a simple mindset tool called “Update Yourself,” a practice that helps you picture yourself as more capable, grounded, and empowered so real change feels possible—not overwhelming.

You’ll Hear About:

• How your brain can learn a new, more confident picture of who you are and what you can do. You’re not locked into old patterns—you truly can do new things.

• Why owning your choices matters. Are you supporting your growth or slipping back into old standards like perfectionism or settling? Choose a standard that actually helps you move forward.

• How your body responds differently to Updated Stories versus Outdated Stories. When you celebrate who you’re becoming, you feel your growth, and that creates natural motivation fuel for more of it, inside and out.

• How Updating Yourself strengthens your relationship with you. It’s a bridge from doubt to desire. Simple “updated” thoughts—like “I’m the person who gets to make change happen”—open doors that old thoughts keep shut.

• How to stop assuming the worst about uncertain outcomes and start expecting what you hope to find.

Resources:

• Schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share what ideas and changes you want to make in your life and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips to make them happen!

• Your Resources: time, money, attention, energy.

Tell Yourself UPDATED Stories, Not Outdated Ones:

1. Ask yourself: How am I different today than I have been before? What do I care about now that I didn’t before?

2. Notice what you’re improving on or what matters to you now. Tell yourself about the updated person you’re becoming—statements like “I’m more organized now” or “I know how to organize better.”

3. Remember the real goal is becoming your true self, not chasing a perfect outcome. What do you want instead of what you’ve been getting? What changes would support that?

4. Focus on the change you want to make. Choose a thought about yourself that helps you feel capable, satisfied, and ready to take that step.

Annaliese and Alan talk about how to make healthy, effective boundaries that actually support real life and real relationships. Instead of boundaries being a last-minute reaction to discomfort or conflict, they explore how boundaries work best when they’re intentional, value-based, and planned all the way through. Annaliese share the 3 Prongs of Building a Boundary—choose it, set it, enforce it. Learn why you need all three if you want your boundary to work for you instead of creating more tension, guilt, or frustration. Listen today to hear how creating a plan for each prong helps you stay grounded, clear, and steady while setting your boundary, no matter how others respond.

You’ll Hear About:

• Why boundaries are at their best when they support your deeper values and help build a bridge that makes relationship possible—not a wall that cuts people off

• How to choose a boundary by first noticing your discomfort, clarifying what you want the boundary to protect or support, and getting clear on your “why” before deciding how to communicate it

• How clarifying your deeper “want,” especially in relationships, helps you understand why certain interactions feel threatening or draining, and what goal you truly want to shoot for in the relationship

• Why disappointment often happens when you forget to make a plan to enforce a boundary—and why follow-through matters

Your Free Coaching Call:

• Schedule your free 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese to get personalized support with boundaries, communication, and self-leadership: www.linktree.com/coachannaliese

Practice:

BUILDING A BOUNDARY: If you only make a boundary as a reaction to uncomfortable situations, and don’t intentionally talk it through first with the person and proactively plan it out, you’ll likely end up with an ineffective boundary and a more frustrating dynamic. Walk yourself through these 3 Prongs with honesty, self-awareness, and openness.

• Prong 1: Choose It -Take time to reflect on the specific situation and be clear about what the boundary needs to be and why. -Identify what the boundary is meant to protect or support—your values, time, energy, priorities, or goals. -Remember: others don’t have to agree with your values for you to show up in a respectful, confident way and build a boundary that supports how you want to show up, even if there’s pushback.

• Prong 2: Set It -Decide who you want to be as you communicate the boundary and how you want the conversation to feel. -Think intentionally about the other person’s experience. What do they actually need to hear? What would help this feel like a mutual, relationship-forward conversation rather than you just pushing an agenda? -Picture how you want both of you to feel during and after the conversation—this clarity helps you choose language that keeps connection and respect in view.

• Prong 3: Enforce It -Prepare for likely responses and scenarios and decide how you’ll support yourself in those cases (ex. reactions/lashing out, disagreement or exclusion from the other person, perspective the other person adds that changes your viewpoint). This isn't about worst-case scenarios, it's about facing and navigating reality wisely. Plan what you’ll say if needed in each possible situation, what boundaries around space or support you may need, and practice how you would calmly shift or re-communicate the boundary without overexplaining or reacting. -Boundaries work best when you’re willing to commit to walking them out confidently and respectfully over time, not just say them once.

Annaliese and Alan dive into why adversity isn’t just something to survive—it’s something that grows you. They unpack how struggle, resistance, and discomfort can actually be some of life’s most powerful teachers when you learn how to work with them instead of against them. Annaliese shares an example story from the 1990's Biosphere 2 project, where scientists discovered that trees grown in perfect, protected conditions collapsed when they reached full height. They discovered that without real wind or resistance, the trees couldn’t develop the strength or flexibility needed to stand mature, strong, and steady. The same is true for us—without the push and pull of life’s challenges, we’d miss out on the maturity, adaptability, and groundedness we need to truly thrive.

You’ll Hear About:

• How adversity, though uncomfortable, invites innovation, growth, and deeper strength inside you that you wouldn’t find otherwise. It’s not the absence of struggle that leads to a good life—it’s learning to let difficulty shape you in meaningful ways.

• How practicing discernment while in hard seasons helps you respond with intention instead of reactivity. You’ll hear practical ways to notice your own part in the stressful moments—where your thoughts or behaviors might be making it harder on you—and how to shift that.

• Ways to open your perspective and see adversity as evidence of your worth and capability. You’ll learn to gather proof that you matter, even while things feel messy, and to reconnect with your deep truth, ideas, and values right in the middle of it all.

Practice: Letting Adversity Work For You

• Picture your inner and outer posture toward what’s hard right now. Are you resisting, closing off, or withdrawing?

• Take a moment and ask yourself: Am I letting this adversity show me where I can grow, or am I fighting against it? Pause. Allow yourself to feel and know your answer.

• Identify 1–2 ways to engage the challenge with openness—whether it’s applying something you’ve learned, trying a new approach, or remembering who you truly are underneath the struggle.

Your Free Coaching Call: Book your free 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese. Bring your story, and she’ll help you uncover insight, clarity, and next steps to create real change.

Annaliese and Alan talk about a particular way we experience growth: it can take us further. Annaliese shares how to recognize when your personal growth efforts might actually be keeping you stuck in your head rather than helping you feel the change you’re aiming for. This episode invites you to notice where you might be sitting in challenges instead of moving through them—and how to shift from preparing to practicing growth in real life.

You’ll Hear About:

• How overwhelm is often the mix of overthinking and underacting. Notice where you might be ruminating on ideas instead of taking the small, helpful steps that build real momentum.

• Why growth takes you further when you’re willing to practice simple, practical actions that make risk feel more normal and open up your possibilities.

• How real growth happens each time you take your thoughts into action—it’s in those moments that you’re building freedom, authenticity, and confidence.

Your Free Coaching Call: Want to experience a growth conversation for yourself? Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese and explore how to make your growth feel more real and doable in your life.

Practicing Growth That Takes You Further: If you’re pursuing growth but feel stuck or trapped, you might be ready for further growth—the kind that moves you beyond just knowing what to do into actually trying it out.

• Notice where you’re letting risks block you from acting. Those uncomfortable feelings—fear of the unknown, negative “what ifs,” hesitation—are cues that you may be withholding permission from yourself to act. Remember that beneath your fears are your deeper core values in life that you actually want to engage with and live out. Do you see how staying in your comfort zone doesn’t always mean safety, and taking action doesn’t always mean danger?

• Choose small steps to experiment with. You don’t need to commit to a huge project; instead, give yourself permission to start small. Simple, doable actions lighten your mental load, reduce stress, and help you see what’s actually possible for you.

• Pick a supportive belief to guide you. When you feel stuck, notice deeper down why you're stopping yourself from taking action. What's the fear or risk you need support with? Choose a thought for yourself that feels more like what you want to believe about you and about life. Example: “I can try new things and still be safe. I can change my mind any time I need.” Supportive thoughts like these help you grow past perfectionism and into self-trust.

• Let further growth build your self-trust, confidence, and joy. Each intentional step you take strengthens your creativity, courage, and sense of possibility. You’ll begin to feel more like yourself—engaged, capable, and free to live your life from the inside out.

Pro Tip: Regularly give yourself permission to act on what you already know. Trying small things out helps you get unstuck, lighten your mental load, build self-trust, and enjoy being yourself more in your everyday life.

Annaliese and Alan talk about one of the quiet but powerful truths about real growth: sometimes, the best next step isn’t further—it’s deeper. Instead of chasing the next big milestone, deeper growth invites you to slow down, repeat small steps, and let change sink in beneath the surface. It’s about building confidence, wholeness, and strength at your core, not just stacking up achievements.

You’ll Hear About:

• Real, lasting growth happens in layers—formed through aligned choices over time. We only uncover these layers when we slow down and tune in to our state of being, letting growth show us where to nurture the next seed.
• Deeper growth means trusting the process instead of rushing it. It often asks us to stay steady, keep repeating small steps, and persevere even when the results aren’t flashy or fast.
• If your version of “growth” has only meant moving further or achieving more, you might be missing the cues for wisdom, repetition, or deeper surrender to what’s ready for transformation inside you.

Practicing Growth That Takes You Deeper:

• Strengthen your roots. If you’re pursuing growth and feel stuck, plateauing, or spiraling, it might be time to switch from “further” growth to “deeper” growth. Instead of chasing more achievements or knowledge, slow down and tune in to your own experience. Let your growth settle in for your benefit and transformation, not just external results.
• Notice resistance as a cue. If you’re struggling to slow your thoughts, feeling dissatisfied, or telling yourself you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” spend the time it takes to focus, those are signs that you might be withholding permission from yourself. Give yourself space to see that you do get to choose a new, more beneficial way of using your time and attention.
• Lean into repetition and slowness. Deeper growth is meant to be slow, repetitive, and consistent. This rhythm helps you tune in and pay close attention to your inner experience. It brings awareness to the emotions or patterns you might overlook in a rushed growth season and helps you build real clarity and confidence.
• Let deeper growth build wisdom. Wisdom doesn’t come from rushing to the next thing—it grows when we choose to stay, to repeat, and to discern. Deeper growth gives you the space to use your knowledge intentionally, to choose what matters most, and to show up in ways that align with your truest values.

Pro Tip: Regularly give yourself permission to choose how you use your time and energy. Practice letting yourself choose rhythms that support depth and quality, not just speed and quantity.

YOUR FREE COACHING SESSION: ✨ Schedule your FREE 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to start making meaningful changes happen in your life - just like you've been picturing!