If someone offers you a hot cross bun and it arrives without fruit, have you been deceived? Christian thinks his mum needs to manage expectations better. Josh argues hot cross buns have evolved into a category, like pizza, and you should be able to ask for the variant you want. And Dion wonders why a baker's dozen exists in the first place. The boys settle nothing.

Josh has booked himself into a 40th birthday predicament. He sent a “save the date” to roughly 70 people, assuming unlimited capacity, lost his original venue, and now has to work out how to politely tell people they may no longer be invited. Should plus ones be welcome only if he's met them? And how big a bar tab is reasonable?

Plus: Christian is shopping for a storage cabinet for his records and gets derailed by a contact form that auto-populates "can you tell me more" into the subject line. The boys workshop the perfect email subject line for every occasion, including bookings, complaints, and inquiries. Surnames or first names? Commas or vertical bars? Order numbers above or below the "hi team"?

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If you take a sandwich from a shared platter and discover you hate it, are you allowed to throw it out, or are you obligated to keep eating? Josh found himself in this exact situation with a salmon sandwich and chose to power through, whilst retching. The boys try to work out what kind of brain damage leads a man to that decision, and whether finishing your plate is a matter of politeness or a personality flaw.

Then Christian recounts one of the happiest mornings of his life. It somehow involves an aimless drive through Templestowe, calling an eyebrow threading place from out the front of the eyebrow threading place, and then the worldly experience he had at a car wash cafe.

Plus: what counts as a prized possession? Dion has a 1942 love letter and a pair of war-torn stockings. Christian has the silver tray his grandparents won for the driest fruit in Victoria. And Josh has his gaming PC. The boys try to work out whether age, effort, or sentimentality is what makes something prized.

And Dion's pelvic floor physio has diagnosed him as a literal tight ass.

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Should you accept a "congrats" for buying a house? What about moving into a rental? The boys try to work out where the line sits between earned achievement and a windfall you didn't quite deserve.

Then a debate about gift vouchers - specifically, the ethics of giving someone a voucher worth less than the service it's meant for. And should you have to factor in a plus-one when buying someone an experience? And at what age should your mum stop paying your bills? Christian has thoughts, and a confession that will SHOCK you.

Then it's an age-old question of closing doors quietly. Dion has been trained since childhood to move through a sleeping house like a ghost. Are tiptoes actually quieter, or are heels just an unfairly loud bone? Plus: Is the job of cleaning a bench really done if you've left it wet? Guess the idiot who has strong opinions about this!

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For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.