You’ve been doing it “right” for years. Reading every day. Journaling. Checking the box. But somewhere along the way, a gift became a test—and you started performing your faith instead of living it.

For Kamden, 20 years of daily scripture study created a powerful habit and a crushing belief: If I read, God loves me. If I don’t, I’m failing.

In this deeply honest episode, Kamden unpacks:

• The transactional faith trap — and how to tell the difference between “feeling invited to grow” and “feeling fundamentally inadequate”
• Why scripture study became impossible — the emotional baggage + ADHD executive dysfunction that builds a wall between you and the word
• ADHD-specific barriers: decision fatigue (“Do I read? Highlight? Journal? Listen?”), interruptions, transitions, the gremlins in your brain
• The reframe that changed everything — what her husband said that shifted everything (spoiler: there’s no temple recommend question about reading daily)
• Letting go of the transaction — what it looks like to receive instead of perform
• The bigger pattern: What good things have you accidentally turned into requirements?

If you’ve ever felt like your spiritual practices became proof of your worth instead of sources of nourishment, this one’s for you.

Faith isn’t productivity. Worship is deeper than discipline.

EPISODE CHAPTERS:

00:00 Welcome & Spooky Season 00:23 Audio Quality Note 01:12 Episode Setup: Scripture & Testing 02:15 General Conference & Absorption 04:30 Transactional vs. Transformational Faith 07:45 ADHD Resistance (Not to God) 10:20 Emotional Barriers 12:15 ADHD Executive Function Barriers 15:30 The Reframe: It’s Not the Gift, It’s the Story 18:00 Gifting Yourself Permission 20:15 The Bigger Pattern: What Have You Turned Into a Test? 23:30 Closing & Where to Find Me Interested in Coaching? Start with a consultation.