What is a Good Life? #158 | Finding Self-Love Beyond Achievement

Where do you belong? How do you best use your gifts?

These questions have followed Alan Wilson throughout his life—from childhood football pitches to corporate boardrooms. In this deeply honest conversation, Alan shares his journey from seeking external validation to cultivating self-love, exploring how grief, self-inquiry, and simple presence have reshaped his understanding of a good life.

Alan Wilson is a Director of People & Operations and qualified coach with 17+ years in senior leadership roles. He supports leaders and organisations navigating change by combining commercial insight with a deeply human approach—focused on self-awareness, integrity, and sustainable performance.

In this episode:

• The childhood patterns behind our adult struggles
• Why achievement never feels like enough
• Finding centre in an increasingly distracted world
• How children guide us back to presence
• Why self-love transforms leadership
• The agency we have despite feeling disempowered

This conversation is for anyone questioning whether they're enough, struggling with validation, or wondering if there's more to life than the next achievement.

For more of Alan's work:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alan-wilson-084b3324/

For more from Mark McCartney:
Newsletter: https://www.whatisagood.life/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-mccartney-14b0161b4/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@whatisagoodlife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markcmccartney/

00:00 - Where Do I Belong?
05:23 - The Validation Trap
10:47 - Self-Inquiry and Grief
16:12 - Moments That Allow Breathing
21:35 - Toxicity and Modern Life
27:43 - Children as Our Compass
33:21 - Beyond Material Accumulation
38:45 - Dismantling the Armour
44:02 - Agency in a Disempowered World
49:18 - Transmitting Our Gifts Daily
54:31 - A Life That's Evolving

On the 157th episode of What Is a Good Life?, I’m joined by Matt Zeigler. Matt is Managing Director at Sunpointe Investments, Senior Editor at Panoptica (a multimedia collaboration with Epsilon Theory), and co-owner and host of Excess Returns, a podcast and YouTube channel. Through his Cultish Creative brand, he transforms complex ideas into accessible insights, helping people make better connections and approach challenges with curiosity.

Matt shares his journey from profound disconnection to finding an abundance of connection and meaning through family, work, and community. From a pivotal therapy session that changed everything to discovering the value of small, intentional experiences, he explores how building bridges instead of prisons transformed his life. This is a conversation about vulnerability, curiosity, and the courage to stop running from connection.

This episode is for anyone who feels cut off from others and is looking to find their way back—and for anyone looking to feel more optimistic about humanity.

For more of Matt's work:
Cultish creative: https://cultishcreative.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-zeigler/

For more of my work:
Contact me at mark@whatisagood.life if you'd like to explore:
- 1-on-1 coaching and online group courses: https://www.whatisagood.life/p/individual-coaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-mccartney-14b0161b4/
The podcast's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/@whatisagoodlife/videos
My newsletter: www.whatisagood.life

00:00 — The Disconnection Question
04:16 — Three Layers of Life
06:50 — Leaving home, independence, and loneliness
10:11 — Therapy Wake-Up Call
18:02 — Learning to Share
23:23 — Small openings that build real bonds
31:38 — Rules, ladders, and inherited structures
45:26 — Energy shift after choosing alignment
50:09 — Community Comes Alive
58:18 — What is a Good Life for Matt?

On the 156th episode of What Is a Good Life?, I’m joined by Alejandra Guzmán González. Alejandra is a Nicaraguan educator, lifelong learner, and mother of two. She describes herself as an artist with a dancer’s feet, the soul of a theatre actress, and the writer’s force within (publishing under the pen name aimé). Her work is rooted in curiosity, reflection, and human connection, and she continues to devote her professional life to education and learning-centred projects.

In this episode, Alejandra shares her journey of discovering how to trust her own voice. She reflects on personal experiences, family, and the process of making her own decisions with confidence while staying connected to the people she loves.

This conversation is for anyone looking to build greater trust in themselves and their own decisions.

For Alejandra's Newsletter: https://aimewrites.substack.com/

For more of my work:
Contact me at mark@whatisagood.life if you'd like to explore your own good life through:
- 1-on-1 coaching and online group courses: https://www.whatisagood.life/p/individual-coaching
- The podcast's YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/@whatisagoodlife/videos
- My newsletter: www.whatisagood.life

00:00 - Living the Question
03:18 - Seeking External Answers
07:02 - Teaching and Questioning
10:05 - Parenting and Frustration
13:46 - Building Inner Trust
17:53 - Cocooning and Withdrawal
22:45 - Listening Beyond Answers
30:31 - The Right to Listen
38:10 - A Defining Moment
48:03 - Health as Teacher
56:46 - What Is a Good Life For Alejandra?