Who are you after losing someone who helped define you? Amanda Anderson joins me to explore grief, anxiety and rebuilding your sense of self when life changes beyond recognition.

Amanda has experienced the murder of her brother, the loss of her sister and father, and a stroke that affected her memory and language. Having served as Global Mental Health Project Lead at L’Occitane, she also brings experience of supporting others through crisis.

But one of the most revealing moments in our conversation comes from her walks after her father’s death, when she kept asking: “Who am I without him?” She shares the different question that helped her begin to see herself—and what he had left her—in another light.

Together, we explore how she has navigated uncertainty, what she reaches for when emotions feel overwhelming, and the expectations that can quietly steer us away from the lives we want.

In this episode:

• Why grief can shake your identity as well as break your heart.
• How Amanda responds when her thoughts spiral towards the worst-case scenario.
• What “rage journaling” looks like for her—and why she uses it.
• The difference between reframing a painful experience and forcing yourself to feel positive.
• How invisible social rules teach us to hide our sensitivity and silence our ideas.
• What supporting people through crisis has taught her about listening.

Chapters:

00:00 Human behaviour and playing small

00:36 The question that prompted a life change

06:21 NLP, perception and reframing

09:36 Reframing versus positive thinking

13:41 Trauma, uncertainty and coping

21:59 Self-awareness and recognising your choices

25:23 Amanda’s approach to rage journaling

28:43 What does trauma mean?

33:37 Amanda’s experiences of loss and trauma

43:04 Supporting people through crisis

44:32 Losing a parent and questioning your identity

48:28 The invisible rules that keep us small

An honest conversation about emotional resilience, living with loss and recognising when fear or other people’s expectations are making your decisions.

Follow The Breaking Point Podcast for more conversations about mental health, psychology, relationships and purpose.

Content note: Discussion of bereavement, murder, child assault, suicide, serious illness and violence.