Do you ever react so fast that your mouth is halfway through the sentence before your brain gets invited to the meeting?

That is where the DBT STOP skill can help.

STOP is a distress tolerance skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, designed to help you slow down when you feel anxious, angry, defensive, overwhelmed, or highly activated.

In this video, I break down the four parts of the STOP skill:

S: Stop
T: Take a step back
O: Observe
P: Proceed mindfully

The goal is not to get rid of your emotions. The goal is to create enough space between what you feel and what you do next so you can choose a more effective response.

I also walk through a real-life relationship example where you feel criticized, notice your body getting activated, and use the STOP skill before reacting.

A helpful question to ask in the moment:
“What action is most effective, and what action best fits my values right now?”

Practice one rep this week.

Use STOP before you speak, text, or make a decision when you notice yourself getting activated.

I’m Travis Goodman, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, mind-body coach, founder of The Men’s Collective, and host of The Men’s Collective Podcast.

This video is also available through The Men’s Collective Podcast as part of a practical skills series focused on DBT, nervous system regulation, relationships, emotional health, and everyday tools you can actually use.

Educational content only. This is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment.

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

🌐 Learn more at menscollective.co or travisgoodmanlmft.com

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE: JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: CLICK HERE

JOIN THE MAILING LIST & GET INVOLVED! CLICK HERE: MAILING LIST

INSTAGRAM: MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: WATCH HERE

Connect and Support Travis:
YouTube: Travis Goodman
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com

Music by Scott Buckley – released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au