Why is people pleasing so common in the neurodivergent community? We discuss that very topic on this week's episode of the podcast.

"It is what it is. If people don't wanna be friends with me, it is what it is. Every day should be a learning day. Every day should be a day to work on yourself and your confidence."

Asma welcomes back autism advocate Carly Considine to explore the often overlooked topic of people-pleasing within the neurodivergent community.

Carly shares her personal journey with people-pleasing, anxious attachment, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. She offers practical insights into recognising these patterns and setting healthy boundaries.

This conversation is a good reminder that understanding our values and prioritising self-care isn't selfish. It's essential for wellbeing.

Key takeaways:

• People-pleasing is common in neurodivergent individuals and often stems from a fear of rejection, anxious attachment, and difficulty understanding social expectations.

• Many neurodivergent people use masking techniques and say "yes" automatically to maintain friendships and avoid hurting others. Even at the cost of their own wellbeing and energy.

• Learning to differentiate between surface-level friendships and genuine connections helps you decide where to invest your time and energy.

• The Spoon Theory framework helps you to recognise when you're overcommitting and pushing beyond your limits.

• Setting boundaries is a journey, not a destination. If you're still learning to say no, that's okay. Progress comes from daily reflection and self-compassion.

"People don't want you to be a yes person. They want you to have your own opinions, they want you to have your own choices."

About Carly:

Carly Considine is an autistic adult from England diagnosed in 2015. She has two autistic daughters diagnosed in 2019. Carly for several years volunteered for National Autistic Society co-running the South Wiltshire Branch. Carly now is an online advocate and shares her experiences as not only an autistic adult but a parent of autistic children. Carly has a keen interest in female autism and how the traits can differ, she also has a passion to highlight the comorbidities that can come with Autism such as ADHD. Carly is currently working on qualifications to support her presence in the community.

Where to find Carly:

Facebook

Instagram

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How do we amplify student voices when it comes to SEND education? Neurodiversity and inclusion specialist, Alex Silk, comes on the podcast to discuss.

"We need to be asking how they feel about their school experience. Do they feel a part of that whole school dynamic? Do they belong?"

In this episode of Your Voice Matters, Asma Jacob welcomes Alex Silk, with 12 years of expertise in special educational needs. Alex shares her journey from a well-paid corporate career to working as a teaching assistant in a special needs school, where she discovered her true calling.

Alex discusses the vital importance of listening to young people's voices in educational decisions, the realities of different school provisions, and practical strategies for supporting neurodivergent students. Whether you're a parent navigating educational choices or someone interested in inclusive education, this episode offers valuable insights into creating meaningful support systems that truly meet the needs of every young person.

Key takeaways:

• Career fulfillment comes from making a genuine difference, not just earning money. Find your true purpose.

• Learning communication goes both ways: observing and adapting to how young people communicate is more effective than expecting them to adapt to us.

• Most children with additional needs thrive in mainstream schools with appropriate support, and families should explore all options, including resource provisions within mainstream settings.

• Educational decisions should prioritise the young person's voice and experience.

• Research and school visits are essential, but the most important factor is listening to what feels right for your child and respecting their preferences.

"I learned so much about communication from these young people in that so many of them didn't have a voice at all. They used signing, gesture, eye gaze, or various different communication styles that I had no idea even existed."

About Alex

Alex Silk is a passionate Neurodiversity and Inclusion Specialist with over 12 years of experience teaching young people with SEND thrive across mainstream, resourced, and specialist settings.

She works at the intersection of education, research, and real-world impact — leading inclusive curriculum design, empowering families and professionals through training, and shaping meaningful change in schools.

Where to find Alex

LinkedIn

SENsational Tutors

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Share this episode with someone who could benefit from hearing the voice of the SEND and neurodivergent community.

What if the key to helping your child navigate school transitions isn't about removing their anxiety but giving them the tools to transform it?

"On the other side of fear is the thing that you want."

In this episode of Your Voice Matters, Asma Jacob welcomes Sam Bowley, a hypnotherapist specialising in anxiety management for neurodivergent children and young people. Sam shares her experience running transition programmes that support children moving from primary to secondary school and between year groups.

From creating safe spaces to understanding the unique challenges neurodivergent children face, Sam offers practical strategies for managing anxiety during times of change.

Bonus: We conclude with a guided visualisation exercise designed to build confidence and calm.

Key takeaways:

• Creating safe spaces is essential for neurodivergent children to feel comfortable opening up about their anxieties.
• Transitions bring multiple challenges at once e.g. new environments, teachers and routines. This can be overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals.
• Simple techniques like breathing exercises and visualisation can transform anxiety into confidence and help children navigate challenging situations.
• Fear often holds us back from reaching our potential, but with the right tools and support, we can move beyond it.

"We really don't fulfil most of our potential of what we can do, and sometimes we allow fear to get in the way. But actually on the other side of fear is the thing that you want."

About Sam Bowley

Sam Bowley is a hypnotherapist who specialises in anxiety management using techniques including Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Matrix Reimprinting.
She works with children and young people, particularly neurodivergent individuals, and has developed transition programmes to support students moving between schools and year groups.

At Happy Minds, Sam creates supportive environments where children can develop confidence and practical tools to manage anxiety. Her approach focuses on empowerment, helping young people recognise their own strength and potential.

Learn more about Achievable Journey.

Follow Your Voice Matters and connect with Asma on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and X.

Remember to subscribe to Your Voice Matters wherever you listen to podcasts!

Share this episode with someone who could benefit from hearing the voice of the SEND and neurodivergent community.