Showing results for "Book" in Humorous

The Antithesis want nothing more than to consume other worlds, altering their environments and birthing armies of monsters to continue their spread across the galaxy. Their next target is Earth, but with hundreds of Samurai protecting their home, it will be no easy victory. Taking root on Mars and its moons, the Antithesis have concocted a plan for the ultimate cosmic takeover: transform Phobos into a living satellite and hurtle it toward Earth.

The Merry Band of Pirates stopped the enemy from stealing a Sentinel, and destroyed its Elder starship, so why weren’t the Pirates planning a victory party? The enemy was not what they thought it was. It was much, much worse.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

Disaster. There was no other word to describe how Operation Olympic had changed in a flash from a triumph to the worst failure the Merry Band of Pirates had ever experienced. A failure that meant the fight was over. Unless the Pirates could perform a miracle, without Skippy.

Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.

Upon returning to Valia after his journey to Caelford and the Unclaimed Lands, Corin Cadence is confronted with a familiar foe—his own father. While his strength has vastly increased since his last encounter with Magnus Cadence, Corin knows that he’ll need every trick at his disposal—and maybe a few new ones—if he wants to survive a duel with his father intact. While Corin struggles with his family, his friends must face a second year at Lorian Heights with new classes, familiar but new chancellor, and deadly new enemies both on and off the campus.

The debut standalone novel from author Edward Ashton, author of Mickey7, THREE DAYS IN APRIL is a near-future speculative thriller that marks the entry of a bright new voice into the genre. Anders Jensen is having a bad month. His roommate is a data thief, his girlfriend picks fights in bars...

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.

For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A extreme awesomeness. And also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now. This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.

A man awakens in a clearing in what appears to be medieval England with no memory of who he is, where he came from, or why he is there. Chased by a group from his own time, his sole hope for survival lies in regaining his missing memories, making allies among the locals, and perhaps even trusting in their superstitious boasts. His only help from the “real world” should have been a guidebook entitled The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England, except his copy exploded during transit.

A dynamic remastering of the original BBC Radio 4 full-cast serial - Fit the First to Fit the Sixth - which spawned a phenomenal hitchhiking legend The original series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, remastered by Dirk Maggs (director of the Tertiary, Quandary and Quintessential Phases)...

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

Bob and the fleet are doing their best to keep a lid on things at Earth when a desperate call for help comes in. Topper and Dingus ride off to square things away until Bob gets another call and joins the fleet. Can they handle what they've found? What's going on, way out there in Commonwealth space? Only one way to find out!

The energetic and bitingly satirical novel from author Edward Ashton, author of Mickey7! The End of Ordinary is a riveting near-future thriller that asks an important question: if we can’t get along when our differences are barely skin deep, what happens when they run all the way down to the...

Vance Turbo, Hero of Space, has spent most of his hard-won officer's career helping refugees. This ends when a star gets blown up and he accidentally ends up saving everyone. Now the captain of the E.S.S Ares, he is on a goodwill mission to Contested Space. Unfortunately, his crew is made up of people who couldn't qualify for Space Academy but are now in thanks to lowered enlistment standards.

Jack was told that, one day, he'd have to fight to protect what he and the others have built. That day just knocked on his door and said it was time to retire. Men representing a real-world corporation have shown up in the game, and they are all but demanding Jack sell All Trades, Inc. for a fraction of what it's worth. Not realizing how big his operation is, Jack has to figure out who they are and what they're planning before they realize just how much he's worth...and what he has to lose.