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Sheridan Morley writes: "When my father died at eighty-four on the morning of Derby Day 1992 (one of the few he ever missed), he and I had been together for just over fifty years. In the immediate aftermath of his sudden death, I knew two things; how much I would always miss the sheer joy of his company, and how much I wanted to write about him, if only to explain to myself and my children the life and career of the last great Boulevardier of his or any other time."

Neither Jon nor Alice feels like they are getting enough and the frustration is tangible. If the other can’t help then who can? Best friends? Colleagues? The corner shop/kebab house owner? Fighting for the remote are Jon and Alice, a twenty-something couple living together in London. Alice enjoys socialising; Jon hates meeting people. While Alice is climbing her career ladder, Jon is quite content on the bottom rung of his.

A bitter round of Pictionary ends in a drink-to-the-vomit drinking game after Alice claims she can beat Jon at anything. The rug of Alice and Jon’s host gets in the firing line, rekindling rivalries from the past as well as the present. Jon declares he is not a loser and embarks on a mission to prove it by any means possible.

The Future Mother-in-Law Predicament: "Why did we have to let her in? Could we not have just posted her a duvet through the letter-box?" Alice’s Mum comes to stay and Jon is not happy. A house-proud woman with a bosom as pronounced as her carefully annunciated consonants, she cleans, criticises, pokes and potters until not even Alice can take it anymore, forcing her to call on reinforcements with equally masterful diction.

"God, I need to be bereaved. I could do with losing a few pounds". Jon, Keren, and Grub accompany Alice to the funeral of a uni friend called Boris. Jon wants to know how good a friend the deceased was; Alice wants to know how he died. Will their respective quests for knowledge end in tears or laughter?

The dangling testicles of fate have tea-bagged me yet again." Alice and Keren are coming to the end of the three-hour getting-ready ritual, in preparation for a rare big night out with old mates. Jon is trying his best to get out of it with the help of the not-so-bright Grub. As the countdown begins, the wine is drunk, the hair sprayed stiff, and Jon made to change his shirt, but who will make it out of the house in time?