Showing results for "The English" in Humorous

This is not a fish out of water, enemies to lovers romantasy. This is me—a barely functional adult—attempting to live my best life, which consists solely of reading books, eating cheese, and falling asleep on the couch. It does not include making friends with werewolf chihuahuas, meeting a moth faerie prince, or defeating a boogeyman.

Absalom Scryne, the greatest wizard of his generation, has been murdered. There's no other explanation for why his consciousness now resides in his well-worn but perfectly pointed hat. Well, he isn't going to take that lying down . . . or hanging from a branch, as the case may be.

When it comes to action and adventure, every hero needs a good sidekick. Holmes has Watson, Batman has Robin, and Daniel has . . . Orrin. More like brothers than friends, they always have each other's backs. And as Daniel is the big, strong, handsome type, Orrin is more than happy to remain in his shadow at school, at parties, pretty much everywhere. Then things take a turn for the truly weird when a terrible accident catapults the pair into a world totally unlike their own, in which the rules of a role-playing game hold sway.

Five friends, gamers for life, gather for their usual game night. Yet, when they use a strange new die they are transported to a fantasy world where all gaming ideas can come true. Together, the party must join forces to deal with the vile Necrolord whose plans will not only threaten this world, but Earth as well. Should be easy for a team of adventurers, but when gaming and real life meet, there are situations which cannot be anticipated.

A lush jungle teeming with danger. Savage dinosaurs seeking blood. A fallen princess intent on vengeance. A mysterious, end-of-floor celebration for the top crawlers, dubbed “The Butcher’s Masquerade”. The sixth floor. The Hunting Grounds. As the remaining crawlers battle for their lives, a new, terrible threat looms. Outside, tourists are finally allowed to enter the game, and they are here and ready to hunt. Among them is Vrah, a famed and veteran hunter, intent on collecting the biggest trophy of her career.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

I'm the new owner of a magical mansion. This mansion, well, it's not your typical building. It's a dungeon from another world, masquerading as just another private residence in the suburbs. It has enchanted rooms, can craft powerful items, build lethal traps, and produce incredible monsters. And it's my mission to protect and evolve its monstrous inhabitants.

A pantheon of forgotten gods. An old grudge between a talk show host, an heiress, and the man they shattered along the way. A rapidly deteriorating AI system. An inconvenient tiara upon the head of a friend.

On a typical day, on an average train platform, two warring sister goddesses found their avatars. One avatar, the young Yoshi, was swept away to the world of Ephemera to be a great hero of honor, courage, and light. The other, the not-so-young Seiji, was swept away to become a dark lord out to kill or conquer all in his path. But Seiji is in absolutely no mood for that nonsense. It's bad enough that on Earth he was a closed-off, misanthropic grouch with zero patience for other people. Now he's supposed to muster enough of a give-a-damn to lead vile hordes?

When my sister thrifts an aged map with iridescent lettering leading to a town called Ever, I roll my eyes. According to a quick internet search, the town doesn't exist. We only manage to find it with the help of a sexy gas station owner who offers to come for me if I call him. Swoon. I quickly learn that Shepherd isn't actually human; nobody in town is. News flash—he's a gargoyle—a dominant, possessive, crème brûlée-loving monster. That should terrify me, but something about him keeps me coming back.

Kane is a six-foot-seven French Canadian. But, a year ago, he was a wolf. He'd been in the woods when a crazed, infected man attacked him. The next day, he transformed into a human. Now, Kane is searching for the Biting Man to get the answers he needs to become a wolf again and return to his pack. The only one who knows Kane's secret is a troubled young woman named Emelda. She needed out of a terrible situation; Kane needed someone who could drive. Wolves who become humans are terrible drivers. He also has a problem with moonlight.

The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

Belissar has always lived a peaceful life, if not a particularly easy one. Though he lost his parents, he was taken in by a kindly villager who taught him his life's calling: beekeeping. But one day the local lord's ruthless son, Ruckanos, comes to their humble village to claim his own tower, slaughtering everyone. Luckily for Belissar, as he lies dying with an arrow in his back, a tiny worker bee decides to interfere, and he wakes up not only alive but a whole new bee-ing.

Erin Solstice trusts a lot of people—even some lost Redfangs survivors of Esthelm—but can she handle being friends with Goblins when every hand is turned against them and the tribes are on the rampage? Liscor is in the path of Goblin Lord's inexorable march north, and the fates of Rags, Garen Redfang, and Tremborag's Goblin tribes are all tied to an impending war. Who will survive?

Aaron was always a bit of a daredevil. Motorcycles, cave diving, bungee jumping, sky diving... You name it, and if it was dangerous, Aaron was there. Then, his entire universe got pulled into a System-managed multiverse. He was skydiving at the time he was pulled into the Tutorial, so instead of getting a peaceful introduction to the System, he went splat and instantly died. Taking pity on him, the goddess in charge of his Tutorial resurrected him, but due to System restrictions, there was only one place she could send him: The Shadow Trials.

All his life, Sir Cameron has stayed as far away from danger as possible. He is quite frankly too handsome to die a pointless death in battle. But then the Church hands down a prophecy to his fellow knights: the only way to defeat their nemesis, the mad sorcerer Merulo, is to kill Sir Cameron. Short of ideas, Cameron throws himself on the mercy of the one person who now actually wants him to survive: the mad sorcerer.

It's raining in Liscor. The spring rains have come and Liscor's entire geography changes with the dawning of the new year. The Floodplains of Liscor live up to their name, and the only way anyone is going to travel is by boat. With the rains come more monsters, dungeon delving, more goblins...not to mention some unwanted attention for the Wandering Inn.

The world is ablaze with great deeds and incredible people. The King of Duels' battle with the King of Destruction is still ringing across the continent of Chandrar, but more adventures are taking place at sea with Niers' students and on Izril's shores. The Horns have arrived in Invrisil at last, and they will soon find out that Gold-rankers they might be, that doesn't guarantee instantaneous respect from other high-level teams. However, a certain [Lady] has also begun her final journey... once again, attention and excitement swing back to The Wandering Inn thanks to a certain magic door!

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.