Showing results for "The One" in Humorous

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

Earth was invaded. Earth was conquered. And humanity was summarily subjugated, as 400,000,000 people were culled. The terrifying part was this only took the Peacekeepers a second. There wasn't even a chance for us to fight back. In the blink of an eye, questions like whether or not we're alone in the universe or at the top of the food chain were answered. We were not. Not by a long shot. Despite the mass murder, the Peacekeepers promise they're benevolent. They don't want to rule Earth. They don't want to control humanity. They just want us to stop playing around with AI and genetics.

All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.

Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.

Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.

Whether he’s underwriting for an overlord, or wearing a pocket protector in a pocket universe, Tom Stranger has just one policy: providing Quality Customer Service. No alien menace is too menacing, no galactic rift too rifty for the multiverse’s most-trusted Interdimensional Insurance Agent in these three brand-new adventures and two classic escapades.

I used to be the greatest Earth Mage in my world. The head of the entire Order of Architects. But the older you get, the more you come to realize that at some point, you need to retire, so that you can have the chance to enjoy a peaceful life and to cede your place to the young, some of whom have already turned two thousand years old . . .So that's what I did. But I failed to account for one thing: during the course of my long life, I'd accumulated too many enemies, and they had decided to spoil my retirement. So they died along with me. And I hope their deaths were final. But mine was not!

Evelyn enjoyed living a nice quiet life in an anarchic pirate port, far from the world she’d once conquered. Then came an attack by mercenaries that made her angry. By the time the dust settled, she had a group of former slaves which she’d freed, her djinn assistant had convinced several of the women that they should join Evelyn’s brand-new harem, and she was looking for a new home, likely aboard a ship.

When Yang Wei travels to C City for work, he expects nothing more than a standard business trip. A break from his day-to-day routine, a good paycheck, a nice hotel—nothing too extravagant, of course. No fuss, but all the amenities. But this is where his problems begin. A complimentary bottle of mineral water from the hotel minibar results in sudden and debilitating stomach pain, followed by unconsciousness. When he wakes three days later, things don’t improve; they get worse. With no explanation, the hotel forcibly sends him to a hospital for examination.

For more than 150 years I've served the Kingdom of Sena. Through four Kings and a Queen. Two wars and a rebellion. I've founded and taught at a magic school. I've fought against beast waves and dungeon breaks. But now? Now, the one close friend I had left has passed. So, I'm done with their politics and their economics. The short and busy lives of humans are more burden than benefit on the weary soul of this half-elf.

Have you ever had a bad day? Sergeant Paul Mitchell had. It was the kind of bad day where nothing went right, everything that could go wrong went wrong, and everyone died. He knew that was always a possibility in the marines, but it really sucked when it happened to you: it wasn't your fault, and you still took the fall for everything. With his career dead and buried, he's forced to make it as a freelancer; a jack of all trades but a master of none. Just when he thought life couldn't get any worse a couple of stupid kids proved him wrong...again.

The complete BBC Radio 4 satirical comedy series about a seasoned presenter of travel documentaries, Brian Gulliver, who finds himself in a hospital's secure unit after claiming to have experienced a succession of bizarre adventures. In series one we hear about Brian's travels in Gelbetia, a country run by doctors; Juradia, where every other person is a lawyer; Osminia, a land where marriage is outlawed; Sham, a country where alternative therapies abound; Erosia, which has a very different view of sexual politics; and Jampoa, where fame definitely equals fortune.

Cantankerous bachelor Robin Lightfoot is happily single - until one morning he awakes to discover he’s married with two children. And he has two half-brothers...both called Ian. Is it a nightmare, a practical joke or something more sinister? Robin gradually realises that he’s in an alternate universe, where the Lib Dems are in power, the Dimbleby brothers are sports commentators and alcohol is a class-A drug.

Contains books one and two of the humorous sci-fi Jane Bond series: Some Assembly Required and Dark Side of the Moon.

Two series of the BBC Radio 4 sitcom about an alien invasion of a small village, starring Hattie Morahan and Julian Rhind-Tutt with Peter Davison and Jan Francis. When the small Buckinghamshire village of Cresdon Green is invaded by an alien race called the Geonin, the local residents come up against Uljabaan, the smooth-talking leader of the aliens.

Join the Librarian as he does his best to make the post-apocalyptic world a better place by protecting the weak, fighting injustice, squaring off against a group of former renaissance fair workers who have established a kingdom in the Rocky Mountains, and so on. Can one man make a difference in the face of such murderous cannibals and super smart bears? Probably not.

Specially adapted for audio by the author. Fleabag meets I Am Legend in this extraordinary novel of one woman's survival in the face of the end of the world. Who will she be now that she is completely alone? THE END OF EVERYTHING WAS HER BEGINNING It's November 2022. The human race has been...