Showing results for "What the" in Humorous

All that stands between rowdy long-haul trucker Jill MacLeod (aka Junkmouth) and her family back in Boston is two thousand miles of asphalt. Well, that and the monstrous game the System has had her playing ever since it descended on Earth. The reward: mana. Jill's goal: kill, score, drive—and stay alive. Behind the wheel of a turreted forty-ton semi named Bertha, Jill hammers east from Montana through a gauntlet of every kind of chomping, hissing, rabid creature imaginable. Barreling forward in her magical soulbound big rig and chalking up a bumper crop of roadkill, Jill isn't alone for long.

Becoming a widow on my fortieth birthday was not what I had planned. Even worse? It's forced me and my teenage daughter back to Whispering Willows and the life of magic I left behind. I tell myself it'll be a short trip to sell my mother's shop of wishes. Until I kind of, sort of bind myself to the shop. With bills piling up fast, I gotta do something I swore I never would: open shop and start granting wishes, just until I can figure out how to undo this pesky binding spell.

Let’s go pay God a visit...So I can make thread again. That’s…something, I guess. Don’t get me wrong—I could be doing a whole lot worse than pumping out thread all day while cooped up in some demon’s mansion. I just wish my other powers would come back alrea—Oh…they are back...

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A HERO? As the chosen of the gods and defender of all humanity, everyone expects me to do great things. From the tender age of six, it’s been my duty to serve humankind, and during my first trial by fire in Keren County... I failed miserably. Since then, I’ve devoted...

SPY, MY PRETTIES!Y’know…understanding the reason for your existence, learning the ultimate truth of the world, and attaining godhood would give most people a lot to think about. But me? I’ve got better things to do, like making mini–spider clones! Look at this one—isn’t she precious?!...

Deification is one hell of a nerf…So I’m a god, so what? I’m weaker than ever! I have no stats, no skills, and no physical stamina! In fact, the only thing I got out of this upgrade was...legs. But since I never have the energy to walk, the others have no choice but to haul me around like...

Seriously! What genre is this?!So get this…Me, the Demon Lord, the baby bloodsucker, Mera, and the puppet posse are on our way to the demon territory when Mera falls into a hole and gets attacked by giant ants. We wipe ’em out in no time, but the commotion (and totally not me sticking my...

I-i-it’s not like a spider needs friends!I did it! I’m finally an Arachne!...Aaand things already aren’t going the way I thought they would. I’m inexplicably on a road trip with the Demon Lord, a reincarnated baby, and her troubled vampire guardian. I don’t really interact with them...

After my battle to the death with Mother, now my days are filled with preparing the next boss-the Demon Lord! But now I have a problem... I've said it before, but I'm TOO STRONG. Now I'm attracting all kinds of unwanted attention! Now I'll have to interact humans whether I want to or not...

THE PRICE WE PAY.Sacrifice the goddess to save humanity, or sacrifice humanity to save the goddess? …What kind of sadist would throw the entire world into chaos with an impossible choice like that?! D, obviously. The head honchos of the Word of God religionare doing all they can to tip the...

I used to be a normal high school girl but in the blink of an eye, I woke up in a place I've never seen before and-and I was reborn as a spider?! How could something that's nothing more than a tiny spider (that's me) possibly survive in literally the worst dungeon ever? Are there no rules? There...

With the Potimas problem officially behind us (like, for real this time), I can finally focus on destroying this god-awful system!…is what I’d like to say. But it looks like a certain someone won’t let that happen without a fight. I swear, every time you think you’re about to blaze...

THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!Just when you think things can’t get any more complicated…Our army is in position to kick off the final battle with the elves, whoop-de-do. But there’s still the problem of Yamada and the rest of D’s former classmates’ inevitable clash with Vampy...

San Francisco's only PI with an eye into the supernatural, is having one of those months. His bad mood drives him to his local pub where he encounters his latest client, a Leprechaun who's lost his adopted niece, a runaway Dryad, and that's where the problems begin. Some days it pours and when Landau Bain, the city's crankiest wizard, arrives on Tony's doorstep, he knows what's coming down isn't rain.

THIS SYSTEM IS RIGGED... Man…whoever thought being a god would make life easy needs a serious reality check. I mean, I offed humanity’s champion, then I hacked into the world’s System to literally erase the pesky Hero title once and for all, but I still can’t catch a break. Now...

THIS COLD WAR JUST WENT HOT! This is a special spider field report coming to you straight from the human-demon border where a massive battle has erupted! The Demon Lord is finally launching an all-out assault on the fortresses guarding the human realm’s frontier and has committed hundreds of...

The sixth book in the bestselling Chronicles of St Mary's series which follows a group of tea-soaked disaster magnets as they hurtle their way around History. If you love Jasper Fforde or Ben Aaronovitch, you won't be able to resist Jodi Taylor. What if the course of history was on your...

Psychologist Kate Holly's own life has become the stuff of intensive therapy. She's divorcing her gorgeous firefighter husband, she has an eccentric secretary, her mother and aunt have erected a vaguely sexual sculpture in her front yard, and her psychiatrist ex-boyfriend won't stop calling to find out what color panties she's wearing. Now, Kate's being bombarded with mysterious threats, and the only person who can help her is the one man who always makes her lose her mind - and heart.

Baton. Light. Chocolate. Duck. This is not DS Adams' usual kit. This is not DS Adams' usual case. She doesn't think it's anyone's usual case, not with the vanishing children and the looming bridge and the hungry river. Not with the snap-snap-snap. But six kids are missing, and she's not going to let there be a seventh. Not on her watch. And she knows how to handle human monsters, after all. How different can this really be?

After many trials and challenges, our reborn spider has become very good at fighting (and eating!) monsters. Getting a little full of herself, she's rushed headlong into some unexplored area and now, she's facing her worst enemy...a huge dragon!...