Showing results by narrator "Morris Gleitzman" in All Categories

Jamal and Bibi have a dream. To lead Australia to soccer glory in the next World Cup. They know it won't be easy. They'll have to beat some really good teams, plus landmines, pirates, storms and assassins. But they're sure they can achieve their dream, if only they can get to Australia.

Brilliantly funny short stories for middle school listeners from the ever-popular Morris Gleitzman, in the hilarious style of Give Peas a Chance, Pizza Cake and Snot Chocolate! These short stories are equally funny and hopeful – at a time when we need as much hope and humour as we can get.

Like many of his mates from the bush, Frank Ballantyne is keen to join the grand adventure and do his bit. Specially as a chest full of medals might impress the currently unimpressed parents of his childhood sweetheart. So Frank ups his age and volunteers with his horse, Daisy...and his dad. In the deserts of Egypt and Palestine he experiences all the adventure he ever wanted and a few things he wasn't expecting. Heartbreak, love and the chance to make the most important choice of his life.

Save 10 lives with a paperclip, discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday, make a new friend with a garbage bin, develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips, bounce on a vampire's bed, rescue your dad from a dog and a spider, use a toilet roll to get justice, upset the neighbours with a pickaxe, eat a pizza that makes you fearless and imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

When 13-year-old Matt is discovered impressing the livestock in an Aussie country town with his remarkable soccer skills, he's offered the chance of a lifetime - a try-out at one of Europe's biggest and most glamorous soccer clubs. His younger sister, Bridie, goes with him as his manager and tells us their story - warts, goals and all.

Always is the seventh and final part of Felix's story, bringing to a powerful climax a series that countless young listeners around the world will remember. Late in life, Felix finds himself back where he started, living in an aged-care home that reminds him of his childhood orphanage. He's not happy. His body might be old, but his spirit is still youthful. When he learns that a dear friend from his early years is in terrible danger, Felix doesn't hesitate.

Jake lives with his parents in a holiday hideaway hotel; the hotel's main attraction is that it is a "kid-free" zone. When a couple from a magazine arrive to do a feature on the hotel, Jake must keep out of the way to ensure they have a great kid-free time. But things don't go according to plan.

"Doug's not like one of those posh guardian angels in the Bible," Gran used to say. "He's invisible, he doesn't do violence and he's very busy, so if you need him you've got to ask." I'm asking you now, Doug. Mitch needs help. Everyone hates him, but he's got a plan that'll make him the most popular bloke in town. If it doesn't kill him. He hopes his guardian angel is listening.

Limpy the toad has a vision. A world where cane toads and humans play mudslides together and help each other with the shopping. But how does a young cane toad discover the ancient secret of living in peace with humans? First he has to dodge the killer trucks and supermarket trolleys. Then he has to stop his cousin declaring war on the entire human race.

The funny and moving story of a boy and his friends never losing heart in a sometimes heartless world. Ludo helps other people. It’s how he was brought up. When Dad is elected to Federal Parliament, Ludo grabs the chance to make Australia an even better place. But he soon discovers it’s not the homeless of the national capital who most need his help - it’s the rich and powerful.

Stop your mum picking her nose, read the secret diary of a dog, catch a bus and then let it go, discover how one slice of toast can make you the most popular person in school, start wearing a crown and give up eating pig-nostril gruel, use a wrecking ball to defeat a bully, show your big sister the very scary secret in your wardrobe, unleash the awesome power of chips, live in a house that gets wiped clean more often than a bottom. Funny stories from a favourite Australian author.

What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are past it? Get them into shape, decides Keith. And find them new partners. It's a brilliant plan, but he'll need help.

A young Aussie soccer genius and his 10-year-old manager take on the world. And win. For a time. A funny and moving story from one of Australia's most entertaining authors.

'Ouch,' said Limpy. 'Why's my back hurting?' A horrible thought hit him. Perhaps it was a fork wound. Perhaps while he was unconscious the human had tried to eat him. He looked around. 'Stack me,' said Limpy. All he could see was blue plastic. Limpy's on a quest to find toad heaven. A place where cane toads won't be blown up with bike pumps or bashed over the head with folding chairs. Limpy's determined to find this place if it takes the rest of his life. But first he has to get out of the bucket.

What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are worry warts? Make them rich, decides Keith. Very very rich. It's a brilliant plan, if it works.

Even more desperate to save his family from ending up on his stack of squashed relatives, Limpy takes his quest to the airwaves. When a TV cooking show kidnaps Goliath to be their main ingredient, Limpy sets out to rescue him and ends up on camera himself. Can Limpy use his 15 minutes of fame to get humans to lay off the cane-toad squashing? Or will that be a recipe for disaster?

Thomas is eleven and lives with his mum and dad and big sister, Alisha. He was a pretty normal kid until two weeks ago, when he discovered he had developed a startling new ability. Every time anyone tells a lie, Thomas develops a violent itch in his nipples. It's uncomfortable, embarrassing, and gets Thomas into all sorts of trouble.

It starts off as a normal week for Rowena. A car full of stewed apples. A police call. A desperate struggle to keep Dad off national TV.

From the author who created the memorable world of Toad Rage comes another highly infectious tale of a brave microscopic hero who is unexpectedly propelled from his familiar nostril-home into the big wide dangerous world. In Aristotle's Nostril Morris features a whole new cast of funny and gross characters that kids will love.

Bumface! That's who Angus wants to be. He dreams of being bold, brave, wild and free. Like the pirate in the stories he tells his younger brother and sister. Instead, Angus is just plain tired from changing nappies and wiping food off walls. His mum calls him Mr. Dependable, but Angus can barely cope. Another baby would be a disaster. So Angus comes up with a bold and brave plan to stop her getting pregnant. That's when he meets Rindi And Angus thought he had a problem before...