Showing results by author "Greg Proops" in All Categories

Hello Romans, welcome to AudibleProops where the Empire is on fire and the Emperor is yelling "liberal". In this dizzying journey behind the news and the lies that make up the news, Proops promises to inform, insult and then cry alone in his room. He's dropping the bomb on the chariot races and, by Zeus, we're off to the races. Proops is eager to read Mrs. Lynne Cheney's post-third-debate-comments verbatim about what a bad, bad man John Kerry is for outing her openly gay daughter.

Hello, tiny ungrateful well-sauced biscuits. Greg Proops is live (on tape) speaking to you this week from San Francisco, aka Baghdad-by-the-Bay. Just off the high of appearing right after New Yorker reporter Seymour Hersh at an ACLU benefit, Greg Proops is ready to launch a humor rebellion where we laugh until We win.

Hello, fellow consumers. In light of the recent brawling ballers debacle, Proops tells us why basketball is the one American sport that is consistently violent enough to actually be entertaining. Then, conservative Ann Coultier makes a great moral measuring stick: if she is against an issue, then that issue must be inherently right and true. Proops also reminds us that conservative talk show hosts can never truthfully invoke the opinion of "the people", since they don't actually know any.

Hello AudibleProops people! In this episode, Proops distorts facts and reinterprets logic, so all the conservatives listening in should feel right at home. Proops ponders the differences between war and diplomacy, and concludes that while negotiating merely bores people, wars actually bore holes in people. Also, Democrats are getting harder and harder to understand these days, as two mindless Democrat women blather incoherently about "voting reform" and "standard elections".

Hello, little dim-sums! Well, it appears that the poor and aged have once again conspired to steal all our hard-earned cash with something called Social Security. That just sounds Commie from the start to Proops' ears. This is a country where things are given to people based on merit. For instance: no one is a better singer than Ashlee Simpson, and that is why she got a break!

Hello, fellow Americans. Surrounded by the stench that was the 2004 election, Proops is reminded of a Stalinist maxim: Those who vote decide nothing, and those who count the votes decide everything. Where real America is positive and real positive people care about moral values, Proops says we are back to the days of bared breasts and more. While Tara Reid and Paris Hilton were flashing the press at P. Diddy's b-day bash, in Fallujah Rummy's taking one last stand at victory.

Hey there wild mustangs! Sure, Michael Jackson impersonators have new-found employment re-enacting courtroom scenes on TV and Southern California hasn�t been this rained-upon in 100 years, but fear not the apocalypse! Proops tells us why we will all live to die another day. Also, we are treated to an unreleased transcript of Koko the Famous Talking Pervert Ape�s sexually-harassing exchange with a research assistant.

Hey there, ocelots of the winter tide! Be proud and brave, like a crazed eagle on methamphetamine, as you are entering an All Spin Zone. Journalism? More like stenography, if you ask Proops. "CBS: Bringing you the best in stenography. Whatever the government says, you can be sure we'll copy it down word for word. Go back to sleep."

Proops People! Greg Proops is back, and he's still dropping the bomb on everything that's on. It's his bi-weekly satirical supplement that makes you question your own judgment. Greg just got back from "old Europe" where he was shamelessly exposed to naked women's breasts but somehow has managed to stay sane. On the counter terrorism tip, he wonders why you can load up on guns, bombs, and fresh fruit on private planes. And much, much more

Hello, Nippers. Your pal Proops is filing from very, very, very (very, very, very) far away in this dispatch: the other side of the world, in fact. He's in New Zealand selling out shows at the annual Comedy Festival. Ever the intrepid comedian, Proops has the latest on Shrek, the hermit ram who was on the lamb for six years and whose ultimate capture, televised championship shearing, and subsequent visit with the Prime Minister have captivated the world.

Greetings you little rascals! Isn't it hard enough being a teenager these days? Proops wants to discover the drugged up geniuses whose parents force-feed Ritalin. And, speaking of parenting, Madonna doesn't change her babies' diapers AND to add insult to injury, Proops says her new concert sucketh. Finally, recent shark attacks make Proops proud of the garden-variety prehistoric man-eating behavior.

Greg Proops gives his impressions of George W., Clinton as a Republican, and Meg Ryan's terminal case of the "cutes."

For Adults Only: Explicit language. Must be 18 years of age to purchase.