The Last Stop Retirement Home

Enter the idyllic world of the Last Stop Retirement Community!

You are the newest resident at the Mary Stuart Riley Home for People of Advanced Years, affectionately nicknamed the Last Stop by its residents. If you were thinking about quietly entering your twilight years, think again. And if you try slipping peacefully into the hereafter, your fellow white-hairs will pull you back by your ankles, all the while chanting something indecipherable but that can only mean life! No one ever dies at the Last Stop; they just decide to move on.

Where age is a state of mind and attitude is everything!

So come on in. Just watch out for Holy Moses. He's a 169-pound Mastiff who likes cherry Twizzlers, and he's known to throw his weight around. He has very strong opinions, so try to make a good first impression. You don't want him to put a little red check next to your name.

That's Beverly up there waiting for you. She'll take you through orientation and get you settled. Just don't ask her why she never fed the fish.

If you've made it this far, you'll fit right in!