Kirsten Pagacz
AUTHOR

Kirsten Pagacz

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My name is Kirsten Pagacz. I was born in 1966 and grew up in Oak Park, IL. OCD came into my life when I was nine years old. At the onset, it was a welcomed distraction that took me away from my chaotic childhood. My OCD was like a secret friend that always had interesting things for me to do. Doing the assigned rituals was somewhat repetitive and soothing. My OCD was a shape shifter and by high school I was deep in the clutches of my illness. I also developed the shadow syndromes, anorexia and substance abuse. These were the first two to arrive. As for my professional life, I had a successful looking sales and marketing career on paper and worked for some popular fortune 500 companies. On some dreaded mornings, I would lie in heap on the floor, in the fetal position, crying and choking on my tears and mucus before I could leave the house and go to work. This was my private hell.
When I was 32, after a complete mental collapse, I was diagnosed with severe OCD. On that day, in front of my doctor, I found one grain of sanity left within myself. From that one grain I had to grow a peaceful warrior, because the fight of a lifetime was in front of me. I wanted to do more than merely exist. I wanted joy back. I was tired of being robbed of literally thousands of hours while trying to comply with the demands of my OCD.
Since I was diagnosed with severe OCD, I’ve been actively on my path to wellness and stability. Today, my OCD is in the side car, and I’m driving behind the wheel, and I can teach other sufferers to experience the same. Today, I can do the simple things in life simply, without getting stuck, which is miraculous! I enjoy a big happy life and I have a set of blue prints for getting there!
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