Mark Clark
AUTHOR

Mark Clark

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When I was born I was very young, but I do remember one thing - nothing.
Three years later I turned three. I took this coincidence as a good sign.
My father taught me how to ride a bike. He didn't teach me how to stop.
I got hurt a lot. When I was five my family moved from England to Australia. I wondered where they'd gone.
Melbourne beckoned but we ignored that and moved
to Sydney.
My rounded English accent, coupled with my rhyming name ensured conflict.
Fortunately, my religion and my youth saved me.
I was a devout coward and my brother could fight.
As a boy in primary school I inspired hundreds of my peers - I was universally despised.
I took up singing lessons. I was a soprano. I didn't have the balls for anything else.
I went to a tough school. I got hit a lot, mainly by the teachers. I would often see 'Clark Sux!' written in the staff rooms.
To ward off my enemies and prove my manhood I began to write poetry; I joined the choir; I played the female lead in the school play.
It was a coed school.
I got the shit kicked out of me.
In 1973 I got the part in a T.V. series.
My best friend talked my girlfriend into dropping me; no one would sit next to me. I got the shit kicked out of me.
I learned to play the bass.
I was bad at maths but I could count to four.
I purchased an instrument worthy of my talent. It cost $32.
My friends began to take drugs but I was foolish and stayed straight.
When I finished school everyone celebrated, but I wasn't invited. I wrote song after song; no one liked them.
I formed band after band; no one liked them.
I wrote poem after poem; no one liked them.
I wrote story after story; no one liked them.
I had two children.
At the age of 35 I decided to write plays.
At the age of 42 I decided to stop. I wrote screenplays; no one
bought them.
Now I've written six science fiction novels.
FOR F*CK'S SAKE
BUY THEM!
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