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It's Not You

The Bestselling Guide on How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People

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It's Not You

Written by: Ramani Durvasula
Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula
Free with 30-day trial

₹199.00 per month after 30-day trial. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for ₹833.60

Buy Now for ₹833.60

Brought to you by Penguin.

INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

From clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr Ramani Durvasula, discover the inspiring guide to protecting and healing yourself from the daily harms of narcissism.

REDISCOVER WHO YOU ARE AFTER YEARS OF INVALIDATION

Dealing with a narcissist is hard.

One day their confidence and charisma pull you in, the next day they gaslight, wreck your self-confidence and leave you wondering what you could have done differently. Clinical psychologist and narcissism expert Dr Ramani is here to help.

Drawing on more than 20 years of studying, teaching and helping people navigate the challenging landscape of narcissism, It’s Not You will show you how to:

  • Spot the tell-tale signs of a narcissist
  • Confront toxic cycles
  • Protect your energy
  • Create realistic boundaries
  • Reclaim and embrace your true self


Packed with expert tips and detailed advice, this book will equip you with the tools to stop blaming yourself, regain your power, heal and take back your life.

'A compassionate road map and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships' Jay Shetty, bestselling author of Think Like a Monk and The 8 Rules of Love
‘A must read. Dr Ramani will teach you how to heal from any toxic relationship’ Mel Robbins, bestselling author of The Let Them Theory

©2024 Ramani Durvasula (P)2024 Penguin Audio

 Emotions Love & Romance Mental Health Personality Disorders Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Self-Esteem Self-Help
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Critic Reviews

“A compassionate roadmap and survival guide for people in narcissistic relationships, helping them understand how to heal and thrive during and after these challenging relationships.”
“A must read. Dr. Ramani will teach you how to heal from any toxic relationship. With her expert advice based on decades of research and clinical experience, she makes the impossible seem possible.”
“In writing It's Not You, Dr Durvasula directly addresses victims of narcissistic abuse with targeted advice developed through years of clinical experience and research. I would highly recommend this book to anyone struggling in a relationship with a narcissist. Once you realise it's not you who is the problem, you can become the solution.”
“It’s Not You tackles a subject matter so wildly misunderstood and offers a path forward for those who have been, or currently are in narcissistic relationships. With deep compassion, Dr. Ramani masterfully helps the reader shift from self-blame to seeing the picture clearly. What a profound gift it is to those who will see their experience written about in this book and feel a little less alone.”
“Whether you are looking to avoid damaging relationships, leave one, or finally move on from one, Dr Ramani has produced a work that is utterly essential for understanding the patterns we were never built to see coming. By lifting the veil on these people, she not only teaches us about them, but how to stop shaming ourselves for who we had to become to survive them. It’s Not You is not just life-saving, but life-restoring. More than a way out, it’s a way back, to yourself.”
“Emotionally abusive relationships take away our voice and our power, and Dr Ramani gives us the tools and teaches all of us how to take ourselves back and feel whole again.”
“What sets Dr Ramani apart is her valuable emphasis on healing from the damaging effects of a narcissist’s destructive behaviour. With a direct and compassionate approach, she reminds us that it is possible to heal. As always, Dr Ramani gives comfort and validation to the ‘lions’. It’s Not You is a gift.”
“Dr Ramani is one of the most respected experts on healing and narcissism. In this important book, I’m grateful she includes the often unseen world of grief and narcissism. She gives deep insights and sound advice on the experience of grief. It’s Not You is a must read.”
“It’s Not You is, simply put, brilliant. In straightforward, clear language, Dr Ramani has created a framework for deeply understanding the complexities of, and healing from, this most insidious form of abuse. She challenges misconceptions and glaring gaps in knowledge of current paradigms in traditional psychology and with compassion and refreshing candor, guides us through hell - and back to our true selves.”
All stars
Most relevant
A must go-to book for anyone struggling with harnful relationships in life, and wanting to understand and heal from them.
A sincere thanks to Dr. Ramani for all her work towards this cause. So many of us need to hear this. It couldn't be written better.
The reading is poignant and brings the words to life almost perfectly.

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS EVER

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This book gives you strength and as it starts from her self experiences gives the author the authenticity and further being a professional she has been very kind but clear for certain misconceptions and false hopes which people may have developed imagining one day everything will be alright
For me as I relate with the section when you have to stay in such a relationship was really helpful. Thank You Doctor Ramani.

The practical approach and nowhere giving you false hope of everything will be alright touched me for the honesty of the author.

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Thank you Thank you Thank you. Dr. Ramini. You help so many decode the journey to decode and heal.

This book can save your life.

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The different types of narcissism explained and the dependency factor it creates on a victim. the subtle nuances of a narcissist are explained very well.

Terrifically Explained

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Dr. Ramani has excavated and built a safe space for all sufferers of narcissistic abuse, where others have not even dared to venture.

She lays out all the excuses and devaluating behavior that the reality of what it is to suffer in these kinds of relationships.

This should be on the must listen/read list of anyone looking for resources to educate themselves about how to overcome and reach the other side

A must for anyone who suffers from self doubt

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