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Is it ADHD or Life? Special guest – Suzi Payton

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this week we’re joined by the brilliant Suzi Payton (speaker, comedian, author and confidence coach). Suzi’s an AuDHDer who also lives with Tourette’s and OCD, and she brings a proper mix of honesty, humour and real-life experience to everything she does. She helps neurodivergent people build confidence, unmask, and quieten the inner critic (so RSD hits less often), and she also runs ADHD The Experience – an event made by and for neurodivergent folks.

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS
Watch on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/L6SDb2j2fe4

Suzi Payton links:
Website: https://www.suzipayton.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzi-payton-a9b68b25/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@suzipaytonaudhdcomedian
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@suzipayton
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/suzipayton_audhdspeaker.comedy/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/suzipaytonadhd
Suzi’s podcast:
Adventures with ADHD: https://open.spotify.com/show/4MCLGSmXIul1B1DcOEbsTs?si=ee54fbf833d5429a
Suzi’s book:
Lost & Now Found (with Kate Laine-Toner): https://amzn.eu/d/4kEzrUz

What we talk about in this episode:
Suzi’s journey from messy bedrooms, school struggles, low self-esteem and confidence… to teaching for 17 years
Planning difficulties, coping strategies, and the research rabbit holes before diagnosis
Diagnosis day and what changed internally afterwards
Imposter syndrome, and why it can still stick around even when you’re doing well
Forgiveness, compassion, and why self-compassion is not optional (even when your brain says it is)
ADHD strengths and “rewiring” the way you see yourself
Medication pros and cons, plus other strategies (including no alcohol)
Comedy: how Suzi got into it, improv, dopamine hits, and neurodivergent workshops
Should Adam try improv? (we debate it properly)
How ADHD impacts comedy and performing
The massive question: why is it easier to speak to 200 people on a stage than do 1-to-1 face to face?
Confidence, beliefs, personal development, and the horror of networking events
ADHD tax, the pain of being late, and why sleep matters more than we want it to
RSD and public speaking, and how Suzi handles it
Suzi’s advice to her younger self, plus her good, bad and ugly

Join us / follow us:
Website: https://www.adhdorlife.com
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered
Instagram: @adhdorlifepod
TikTok: @adhdorlifepod
Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod
#podcast #adhders #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #LateDiagnosis #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #ADHDPodcast #ADHDWomen #ADHDConfidence #RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #Tourettessyndrome #OCD #ImposterSyndrome #SelfCompassion #Unmasking #ADHDMedication #ADHDStrategies #ADHDStrengths #ADHDComedy #ImprovComedy #PublicSpeaking #NetworkingAnxiety #ADHDTax #Execut

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

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New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ This week Adam’s got his clipboard back (yes, really) and we’re asking the big question: is this ADHD… or is Adam just a full-blown control freak?

We kick off with an update on Adam’s titration journey: more paperwork, more waiting, and the classic feeling of being stuck in the world’s slowest queue.

Watch on YouTube (this episode):
https://youtu.be/FXBZEFQBccs

Join the Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

What we cover in this episode:

• Does everything need to be perfect… or is it really fear of being judged?
• Work is where Adam’s control issues hit hardest: everything has to be perfect or “people will be talking about him”.
• Adam cannot cope with the responsibility of people management. He’s even given up jobs because he couldn’t handle the pressure. Is this ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism… or all of the above?
• Do recovery meetings help with accepting you can’t control what you can’t control?
• Sudden mood swings, stress spikes, and whether RSD plays a part.
• Donna asks the important question: why did Adam have zero control over the wedding… but wants control over everything else?
• Driving chat: is Adam’s driving really that bad? Can you stall a diesel car? Is insisting on driving everywhere a control thing?
• A couple’s perspective: Adam’s control is fear-based, and Donna’s version is more like “I’ll just do it myself because it’s easier.”
• Donna hates “work Adam”. We talk about the time Adam took a tantrum at a party because Donna burnt the popcorn. Was he out of order?
• We’ve discovered Adam can’t be a boss. We genuinely want to know: how do people with ADHD manage being a boss? Send your tips!
• Plot twist: Adam has zero control at home. Same brain, different costume.
• Reputation, all-or-nothing thinking, and “if I can’t do it properly, I won’t do it.”
• “I would phone a man.” (Also turns out Adam wasn’t a great DJ… we unpack that too.)
• Work Adam = control freak. Home Adam = couldn’t be more laid back. Make it make sense.

5 Minute Moans:

• Donna goes mad about bin bags (and honestly, fair).
• Adam makes an apology over wedding pictures.

We finish with listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories, and this week medication comes into the conversation too. We’re so grateful for the stories you send in — keep them coming.

#ADHDPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #ADHDAndAnxiety #ADHDPerfectionism #Perfectionism #PeoplePleasing #RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #ControlFreak #MentalHealth #ADHDRelationships #NeurodiverseCouples #ExecutiveDysfunction #Overthinking #Procrastination #AllOrNothingThinking #ADHDAtWork #WorkStress #PeopleManagement #ADHDMedication #Titration #RealLifeADHD #CouplesPodcast #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ParentingWithADHD

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

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Is it ADHD or does everyone spend it like Beckham?

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ and this one is a proper funny, real-life reflection of what it’s like being a couple living with ADHD. No scripts, no pretending we’ve got it all together… just an honest chat that somehow turns into Amazon parcels, condensed milk, and a popcorn machine scandal.

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube (this episode):
https://youtu.be/ohwOVdtrWLw

More on our website:
https://www.adhdorlife.com

Spacegoods (20% off):
https://www.spacegoods.com/ADHDORLIFE20

What we cover in this episode:

• We start with Adam’s strong feelings about the episode title (he hates it… which obviously makes it funnier).
• Quick catch-up on the week: Adam is still on Spacegoods, plus he’s added Lions Mane supplements and reckons he’s felt a big difference… or is it placebo? (We discuss.)
• Also: Adam’s unhealthy relationship with condensed milk. Yes, it’s a thing.

Main topic: impulsive spending

• Amazon parcels turning up like it’s Christmas every day.
• Adam’s dream car… the 15-year-old Fiat Doblo. The kids are not impressed.
• Business expenses and “dodgy dealings” to buy a popcorn machine… which Adam then broke and had to replace the night before the party. Stress levels: biblical.
• Adam’s official announcement: do not use eBay.
• Is it all the dopamine of shiny new things? Is impulsivity massive in ADHD?
• Does research lead to the right purchase… or is the final decision always impulsive anyway?
• Is it exciting or does it drive Donna mad? (Spoiler: both.)
• Temu chat, bargain dopamine hits, and flat pack drama.
• Should Adam be allowed to online shop unsupervised? Should you buy brand new? Should “future me will figure it out” be banned as a lifestyle?
• Out of sight, out of mind… especially with credit cards.
• Should Adam set up an ADHD hobby swap shop? (Because the hobby graveyard is real.)
• Obsessing over purchases: scouring Facebook Marketplace for days and weeks like it’s a second job.
• The shame cycle (massive), and the comedown after the excitement wears off.
• Does Donna feel betrayed… or is she an enabler? And will any bad purchases ever be returned? (Don’t be silly.)
• Adam and Donna make a deal. Also: does anyone want to buy a popcorn machine?
• The other side: money worries, relationship stress, and whether it’s all “fun” when the bills land.
• Is Donna the responsible one… or does she spend just as much, just on boring family stuff?
• Has one-click buying made everyone worse? Does anyone wait more than one day for delivery now?
• Does social media make impulsive spending worse? Is it emotional spending? Should Adam buy a tent? (This becomes a rea

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
https://www.tiktok.com/@adhdorlifepod

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Is it ADHD or just Blue Monday?

New episode out now on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective 🎙️ We’re talking Blue Monday, why this time of year can feel heavier, and why ADHD can make it hit different (and harder).

Before we get into the doom and gloom… we start with @Spacegoods! It’s had Adam absolutely BUZZING for a week and operating at a level of energy that frankly isn’t available in standard retail.

Get 20% off Spacegoods here:
https://www.spacegoods.com/ADHDORLIFE20

What we cover in this episode:
- Blue Monday: real thing, marketing thing, or “either way I feel a bit grim”?
- Why ADHD can make January feel like wading through fog.
- Adam’s hyperfixations this week: we went to see Song Sung Blue (Neil Diamond)… and now Adam is fully convinced he needs to start a Neil Diamond tribute band.
- But what’s the difference between an ADHD hyperfixation and Donna’s long-standing obsession with Ronan Keating… the one that literally got her in the newspaper? (Yes, really.)
- Is it sadness… or are we just absolutely knackered?
- Why this time of year can be so rough.
- “Overstimulated but underwhelmed” — the most ADHD sentence ever.
- Adam thinks work helps. Donna’s quietly enjoying him having a few nights off…
- What song made Donna cry on the way to the podcast? (It’s a moment.)
- The underrated power of having a day off.
- Practical stuff that helps when you’re in the mud: starting your day fresh at ANY time, the 2-minute rule, and getting out of shame spirals.
- Adam reveals his secret to avoiding New Year’s resolution shame.
- Do you stop caring with age? Should you stop worrying what people think?
- Donna’s perspective (as always: calm, neuronormal, and mildly baffled by Adam).
- And yes… Emmerdale gets a mention. Obviously.

5 Minute Moans:
- Adam’s driving… and the important question: does ADHD control the windscreen wipers? Because the wiper decisions being made are NOT neurotypical.
- Donna’s fashion choices: is it a cute co-ord… or is it giving cheap tracksuit? (We discuss. Thoroughly.)

We finish with our listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories — and we’re genuinely grateful for every one. Keep them coming, because they make this podcast what it is.

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube (this episode):
https://youtu.be/28sWqfpkG8A

YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

More on our website:
https://www.adhdorlife.com

Join the Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

Follow us:
Instagram / TikTok / Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod

#ADHDPodcast #BlueMonday #JanuaryBlues #ADHDMentalHealth #ADHDAndDepression #ADHDAndAnxiety #AdultADHD #ADHDUK #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDParalysis #ADHDBurnout #LowDopamine #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDHyperfixation #SeasonalDepression #WinterBlues #ShameSpiral #TwoMinuteRule #ADHDMotivation #ADHDRelationships #N

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

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This week on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective, we’re back on the imposter syndrome topic… but this time we’re going full ADHD with it. Because imposter syndrome on its own is rough — but add ADHD, masking, late diagnosis, and a lifetime of being misunderstood… and it turns into a whole different beast.

Episode Highlights:

• Imposter syndrome through an ADHD lens: that fear you’re “faking it”, being a fraud, and getting found out.
• The weird ADHD brain twist: when you have a good day, it can feel like “proof” you were never struggling in the first place.
• Diagnosis can actually make the imposter louder — because once ADHD has a name, you start replaying everything and doubting yourself even more.
• Years of being told you’re lazy, dramatic, too sensitive, too much… it sticks. And it makes you question your own reality.
• The “other people have it worse” trap — and how it shuts down your own needs before you’ve even admitted them.
• Masking: if you’ve hidden the struggle for long enough, you start believing the mask is the real you… and then you feel like a fraud when you finally admit you’re not coping.
• A good day doesn’t cancel a hard life. ADHD is patterns over time — not one productive afternoon where you answered emails and remembered your keys.
• Starting a podcast seriously upped the imposter syndrome ante: “Who am I to even talk about this?”
• And the reminder we keep coming back to: we’re not experts — we’re just sharing our experiences, honestly, in the hope it helps someone feel less alone.

What might actually help (without pretending it’s a magic fix):

• Naming it when it shows up (because sometimes just clocking it helps)
• Catching the “proof” thoughts and challenging them (“one good day doesn’t erase years of struggle”)
• Being kinder to yourself than you’d ever be to someone else
• Remembering ADHD is real, even when you’re functioning

We also have listener good, bad and ugly stories — and this week they’re imposter syndrome specials. They’re relatable, hilarious, painful, and basically proof that this isn’t just a “you” thing.

#ADHDPodcast #ImposterSyndrome #ADHDAndImposterSyndrome #LateDiagnosisADHD #ADHDMasking #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDLife #ExecutiveDysfunction #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDSelfDoubt #SelfDoubt #MentalHealth #ADHDMentalHealth #RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #ADHDCommunity #ADHDAwareness #SelfCompassion #Mindset #AnxietyAndADHD #RealLifeADHD #CouplesPodcast #UKPodcast #AdultADHD #ADHDWomen #ADHDMen #ADHDCopingStrategies

Join us / follow us:
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

Instagram: @adhdorlifepod
TikTok: @adhdorlifepod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

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New episode out now! 🎙️ This week on ADHD or Life – A Couple’s Perspective, Adam is absolutely pumped on coffee and ready to go… and Donna brings the topic because lately Adam’s been dealing with a BIG one: imposter syndrome.

After a huge magic show at Craig Tara in Ayr (a proper dream venue for Adam), the excitement quickly turned into that familiar feeling of “Who do I think I am?” and “They’re going to realise I’m not good enough.” So… is it ADHD, is it imposter syndrome, or is it just life doing what life does best?

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube (this episode):
https://youtu.be/abglweUxMys

More on our website:
https://www.adhdorlife.com

Episode Highlights:
- What is imposter syndrome really — and does it only show up at work, or can it creep into every part of life? (Could it literally be Adam’s middle name?)
- The Craig Tara magic gig: Adam books the show… then immediately thinks he’s not good enough. Excitement → instant regret → worry spiral.
- Working well under pressure… and also leaving everything to the last minute (because of course).
- Adam’s first instinct: spend a fortune on new tricks. Second instinct: leave practising until the last possible second. Classic.
- That horrible feeling that things are “never going to happen” or that you don’t deserve the good stuff when it finally does.
- Why imposter syndrome feels like torture: knowing something rationally, but not being able to feel it in the moment.
- Starting a new job, not feeling like you belong, feeling like you’re on trial, feeling like you’re about to be “found out.”
- Adam vs Donna: how it shows up differently, including Donna’s experiences when she was a singer.
- When does the feeling leave — is it imposter syndrome, or is it just nerves?
- Is imposter syndrome like a man in a dark cloak sat on your shoulder like a traitor, whispering nonsense into your ear?
- Interacting with peers but feeling like you’re not on the same level… and how it drains your confidence.
- Networking meetings, social awkwardness, and the fact none of it feels rational. If only you could pause life like a movie and have a word with yourself.
- Adam’s shocking confession: he gets imposter syndrome at the BARBERS. (Yes, really.) Do they judge him for having no hair? We unpack it.
- Ego states, putting yourself down, feeling inferior, and forgetting past wins like they never happened.
- Can you actually enjoy good experiences instead of feeling sick about them? Should we all just be kinder to ourselves?
- Strategies that actually help: name it, challenge the thoughts, and give yourself a proper confidence talk (even if it feels cringe).

**5 Minute Moans:**
- Why won’t Adam duet with Donna?
- And why doesn’t Donna care when Adam nearly dies? Did he faint? (You’ll have to listen…)

We wrap up with listeners’ good, bad and ugly stories — and honestly, they’re so good it’s pushed us into **Part 2 next week**: *Impos

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

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ADHD or Life? – New Year’s Resolutions! (Happy New Year from Adam & Donna)

🎙️ Adam and Donna are back with the first episode of 2026, and we’re doing what everyone does this time of year… talking New Year’s resolutions (and whether any human on earth actually keeps them). But first: Christmas with ADHD, the build-up, and the shock twist of the season… no meltdowns. Who even are we?

Listen on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube (this episode):
https://youtu.be/Q4WDRzig8zA

More on our website:
https://www.adhdorlife.com

Episode Highlights:
- Christmas with ADHD: the build-up, the chaos potential… and somehow, weirdly, no meltdowns.
- The important question: who won Christmas?
- New Year chat, including Adam’s big magic show and the joy of that one perfect day where we had absolutely nothing to do (best feeling in the world).
- New Year, New Me: can anyone actually stick to resolutions, or is it just a January hobby?
- Podcast plans for 2026, plus Adam’s ongoing struggle to stay in contact with people (out of sight, out of mind… but with friends).
- The gym membership that’s basically a monthly donation
- Donna’s resolutions are surrounded by mystery (very on brand). Personal and health goals… but you’ll have to listen to find out.
- Christmas eating, and the dream of having a “caravan bag” ready for overnight stays at the drop of a hat.
- Strategies to actually keep resolutions, the classic stumbling blocks, and how ADHD can make it harder (or just… different).
- Hyperfocus, including hyperfocusing on the wrong things at exactly the wrong time.
- Work patterns, juggling, and Adam’s official limit: (spoiler alert: it’s 2).
- Couple dynamics: when reminders start sounding like nagging, and how to keep it kind.
- Donna’s “neuro-normal” take on resolutions — she used to run and wants to do it again. Does everyone fail… or do we just set ourselves up to?
- And finally: Adam gets VERY excited about vision boards and a new office that “must be completed today.” New office, new me.

We finish with our listeners’ **good, bad and ugly stories** — and we’re genuinely grateful for every one. Keep them coming, because they make this podcast feel like a proper community.

Join us / follow us:
Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

Instagram: @adhdorlifepod
TikTok: @adhdorlifepod
Twitter/X: @adhdorlifepod
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

#ADHDOrLife #ADHDPodcast #NewYearsResolutions #ADHDAndResolutions #ADHDNewYear #NewYearNewMe #ADHDStrategies #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDLife #NeurodiverseCouples #ADHDRelationships #ADHDHyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ADHDMotivation #ADHDProductivity #MentalLoad #CouplesPodcast #ParentingWithADHD #ChristmasWithADHD #SocialMediaAndADHD #VisionBoard #KeepItTiny #Padel #UKPodcast #Neurodiversity #RealLifeADHD

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

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(Final episode of 2025… and we’re going out strong.)

New episode out now! 🎙️ This week, Adam and Donna tackle a big one: anxiety — how it shows up, how it overlaps with ADHD, and how it can look totally different depending on what’s going on in your brain (and your life).

It’s the final episode of 2025, and we’re wrapping up the year with a proper real-life topic: Is it ADHD or Anxiety? We chat about taking some time off — we had a week off for the wedding, and we’ll also be off next week for one week (because life happens!). A bit of a check-in on accountability and social media, then we get straight into the main topic.

ADHD + Anxiety (Adam’s flavour):

• The anxiety that comes from fear of forgetting (because forgetting isn’t just annoying — it can feel like a full-body panic).
• RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) and how it can turn small moments into big spirals.
• The classic ADHD-anxiety combo: “I know I should do this… but I can’t.” And the guilt/anxiety that follows.

Neuronormal Anxiety (Donna’s flavour):

• The mental load — carrying everything in your head and worrying what happens if you drop one ball.
• The worry of being “too much” — especially the fear of becoming a nag just to keep life moving.

How anxiety shows up behaviourally (for both of us):

• Avoidance (if you don’t look at it, it doesn’t exist… right?)
• Shutdown
• Irritability
• Over-explaining (because if you can just explain it perfectly, maybe you’ll feel less anxious… maybe)

5 Minute Moans:

• Donna’s getting fed up with Adam starting a conversation… then drifting off mid-way like he’s been teleported to another dimension.
• Adam’s request of the week: Donna, please stop calling him her “Husband”. (Yes, really.)

We finish with our listener good, bad and ugly stories — and we’re genuinely grateful for every single one. Keep them coming, because they make this podcast what it is: real people, real life, and the stuff we all think we’re the only ones dealing with.

Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdrelationshipsunfiltered

Instagram, Twitter/X, TikTok:

@adhdorlifepod

Listen on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/46i0iGiwmgvFrlOzoW2SnS

Watch on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Read more on our website:

https://www.adhdorlife.com

#adHDPodcast #ADHDAndAnxiety #AnxietySymptoms #ADHDEmotionalRegulation #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSDAndAnxiety #MentalLoad #MentalLoadInRelationships #NeurodiverseCouples #LivingWithADHD #ADHDAvoidance #ADHDShutdown #AnxietyInRelationships #ADHDOrLife #ADHDOrLifePodcast #ADHDUKPodcast

Tune in every week for more conversations and revelations! Send your good, bad and ugly stories to adhdorlife@gmail.com.

Like and Subscribe to see our faces here: http://www.youtube.com/@ADHDorLifepod

Follow us on Tik Tok for extra snippits and more:
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Follow us on Instagram for up to date info:
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