"I was addicted to helping people." Mishala Lewis says it out loud about halfway through this conversation, and once she does, her whole life reads differently.

In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with Mishala Lewis, an event planner, community builder, and the oldest daughter of a single parent household. She cooked, she cleaned, she raised her siblings, and when there was not enough food she let them eat and took whatever was left. Sometimes that was nothing. Nobody called it leadership training at the time. It was just what the oldest girl did.

We talk about what that becomes in a grown woman. The gym bathroom where a stranger was just venting and Mishala was already texting people about car parts with money she did not have. The jobs with the title and the salary and the benefits that still left her empty. The relationships she stayed in because she could see the potential and thought she could fix it.

And then there is the moment that stopped her. Freshman year of college, in the back seat without her seatbelt, the driver loses control, and she is looking over an elevated interstate bridge thinking, well God, this looks like the end. What she said to Him in that second is the most honest prayer I have heard on this show. She woke up on the road a few feet from the car, and the first thing she did was get up and go check on everybody else.

She is different now. She has a word for this year, she has a brunch she is building for women who are healing, and she has a challenge she is two days into. If you have been everybody's fixer, everybody's backbone, the one who always has it handled, pull up a chair. Mishala has a word for you.

CHAPTERS (optional, supported by Apple Podcasts and Spotify)

00:00 "I was addicted to helping people"

00:53 Why she started 75 Hard: "I'm shedding"

02:08 How the two of us found each other

03:05 The oldest daughter in a single parent house

04:07 Telling the story with grace for her mom

05:04 The leadership it was quietly building

05:40 Giving up a full scholarship to go serve

06:26 Choosing happiness over the money

07:38 Sacrificing her health for everybody else's peace

08:50 The woman in the gym bathroom

09:40 The moment she admitted she had a problem

10:33 Believing she had to do the most to be known

11:04 When you just want to vent, not be fixed

12:30 Boundaries, and the friction of a new you

14:52 The night she was ejected from the car

16:26 Getting up to check on everyone else

17:05 Brain swelling, and telling jokes in the hospital

18:24 What she said to God on that bridge

19:58 What changed in her afterward

20:09 Starting Resilient Women of Color

22:16 Building something with no experience

23:09 Letting go of what was never meant for her

25:47 Walking away from safe and predictable

26:42 What the layoff taught her about her worth

27:54 Staying in relationships she knew to leave

31:56 Did she ever bury the creator in her

33:32 Her exit cue, and how she stopped shrinking

35:23 When helping someone becomes a project

36:39 To the woman still chasing the paycheck

38:50 Your purpose can get you paid

41:13 Finding God without growing up in church

44:32 We are the church, not the building

46:13 Nerves, and why the real you is the point

48:14 Her word for this year: living

49:38 The Resilience Brunch

52:35 Healing with community, music, and movement

54:52 Her message to the woman who gives it all away

55:28 Going barefoot

"God, please don't leave me like this." She prayed it standing in an office at work, with tears running and no idea what to do with the gap between the woman everybody saw and the woman she actually was.

In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with Desire, a teacher, a mother, a wife, and a woman who spent years being everybody else because the real her had been rejected before. We talk about what it costs to perform a life. The posts that say family first while your own house is falling apart. The version of yourself you build out of what other people clapped for. The rejection that got planted so early she can trace it back to a game of school with her cousins.

Desire is honest in a way that is rare. She talks about the mentor who told her, you are not coming off as nice as you think you are, and what it was like to actually hear it. She talks about the picture God gave her of a person who looked fine on the outside while something else was living on the inside. She talks about the boundary she finally set with her own father, and what he did with it that she never expected.

And then there is the other side of it. Five years of surrender. A clean room. A dream about a stadium and a row of seats she had to empty. A movie role she did not go looking for. A mission trip to South Africa. And a word for the woman still hiding: there is no other you.

If you have ever put on a face to be accepted, or worn so many of them you cannot remember which one is yours, pull up a chair. This one is for you.

IN THIS EPISODE

- Why the mask goes on in the first place, and how early it starts

- The difference between people pleasing and God pleasing

- Setting a boundary with the person you most want to make proud

- What it sounds like when God shows you yourself and you do not look away

- Spiritual bypassing, and why God can handle your anger

- The season of separating, and the people who cannot come where you are going

- The art of obedience, and what obedience opened up for her

ABOUT DESIRE

Desire is a teacher, wife, and mother who spent seven years as a family teacher at Boys Town before God started rebuilding how she shows up at home, at work, and in the room. She is stepping into a film role, heading to South Africa on mission, and telling the truth about all of it. Find her at [add Desire's Instagram or website].

CONNECT

Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com

If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story.

Rachel D. Fox, DSL

"I'm built for this." That is what Kiya says now, and by the end of this conversation you will understand what it cost her to be able to mean it.

In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with my friend Kiya, a photographer, a dancer, and one of the most tender and self aware young women I know. For most of her life she was the strong friend, the one everybody leaned on, the happy face in the room who was quietly carrying far more than anyone knew.

We talk about where that armor came from, the wounds that taught her she could never break, and the generational trauma she decided to stop passing down. She is honest about her mental health journey, about the seasons that pulled her into the dark, and the night in a closet when she asked God to take her and woke up certain she had been kept here on purpose.

This one is tender in places, and it is full of hope. Kiya talks about choosing herself, laying down what was never hers to carry, doing the scary thing while she was still scared, and the words that carry her now: I'm built for this.

If you have ever been the strong one, the person who holds it together for everyone else, pull up a chair. Kiya has a word for you.

A gentle note before you listen: this conversation includes honest talk about depression, self harm, and suicide. Please take good care of your heart. If you are struggling, you are not alone and you do not have to carry it by yourself. In the US you can call or text 988 any time to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

IN THIS EPISODE

- Why the strong friend so often carries what nobody sees

- The wound that taught her never to break, and how she started to heal it

- Choosing to stop passing down generational trauma

- Healing the little girl still standing in the mirror

- The night in the closet, and waking up sure she was kept here on purpose

- Doing it scared: how fear and faith live in the same room

- The words that carry her now, I'm built for this

ABOUT KAYA

Kiya is a photographer and dancer who speaks openly about mental health, healing, and faith so that other people know they are not alone. Find her at [add Kiya's Instagram or website].

CONNECT

Kiya: @nhimagesphotography

Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com

If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story.

Some stories make you wonder how one person carried all of it and still kept her faith. This is one of those.

In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with my friend Kat, a breast cancer survivor, author, and trauma coach. Eighteen years ago she heard the three words nobody wants to hear: you have cancer. What she learned in that fight became the very thing that carried her through a season she calls harder than cancer itself.

We get into the kind of betrayal that rearranges a person, what happens in the body and the brain when the hard things keep stacking up, forgiveness that has to be spoken more than once, and the question that changed everything for her: am I being punished, or have I been chosen?

Kat does not tie it up with a bow. She is still walking it out, scars and all. But by the end she has a word for anyone sitting in a hard place: there is help, there is healing, and you are not nearly as alone as you have been told.

If you have ever wondered where God was in your hardest season, pull up a chair. This one is for you.

A gentle heads up: this conversation touches on illness, loss, and seasons of deep struggle. Take good care of your heart as you listen.

IN THIS EPISODE

- Why the lessons of cancer became the tools that carried her through what came next

- Forgiveness as a daily practice, not a one time decision

- How trauma that nobody names still shows up in the body

- Where faith and the science of the brain finally meet

- The Job and Joseph question: punished, or chosen?

- A message of hope for anyone suffering in silence

ABOUT KAT

Kat is a breast cancer survivor, author, and trauma coach who walks with people through grief, betrayal, and the hard work of healing. Her devotional, Breast Cancer Radiant, was born out of her own treatment. Learn more at coachwithpurepeace.com.

CONNECT

Kat: coachwithpurepeace.com

Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com

If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story.

Rachel D. Fox, DSL

CHAPTERS (optional, supported by Apple Podcasts and Spotify)

00:00 The three words no one wants to hear

01:17 A typical suburban mom, then a diagnosis

03:18 Three weeks after radiation

05:43 The trauma no one named

08:32 The hard work of forgiveness

10:45 Why she speaks forgiveness out loud

12:40 When radiation became radiant

15:54 The book that came from the table

16:20 Keeping life normal for the kids

19:23 A neurobiological break in trust

20:13 Betrayal again, and nowhere to go

25:03 When the body keeps the score

29:32 Can you lose trust that God is good?

32:16 When the church is not equipped for real pain

34:08 Where faith meets the science of the brain

38:59 Punished, or chosen?

41:36 A masterpiece in the making

46:04 Why she is telling this story now

48:02 Her message to you: there is hope

51:52 Where to find Kat

Julie Shrader knows what it is to survive. Exploitation, abuse, homelessness, years lost to alcohol, and a voice in her own head telling her she was trash. In this episode, she sits down with me and tells the whole truth about how a trafficking survivor becomes a woman who founds a ministry to help set other women free.

We talk about the day she heard God say "Julie, I told you to stop," and how 14 years of sobriety started not with willpower but with obedience. We get into the part nobody warns you about, that getting saved is not the end of the struggle, it is the beginning of the journey. Julie shares the tear that rolled down her father's face on his deathbed, the wrestling season that felt a whole lot like Jacob, and the gut punch of losing a ministry she poured 12 years of her life into.

Then we get to the new thing. Innocence Freed. Same heart, same mission, brand new wineskin, including a free boutique where trafficking survivors of every age can come shop in private and feel human again.

If you have ever felt like you were too far gone, too messed up, or too late in life for God to use you, pull up a chair. This is one to sit with.

Listen, then share it with one person who needs to hear it today.

A note for listeners: this conversation touches on abuse, addiction, and human trafficking. If you or someone you love is in danger, you are not alone and help exists. In the U.S. you can reach the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888, or text 233733.

By 22, Amanda Lawrence had four DUIs, multiple arrests, and had failed out of college twice. The dreams she once had — law school, a future, a plan — were buried under drugs, alcohol, and a three-day party that ended in an overdose.

She woke up in her apartment that Christmas and looked in the mirror. She had no idea who she was looking at.

That was 2006.

Today, Amanda holds a master's degree in clinical mental health counseling. She founded Haia Ministries, which offers mentorship, faith-integrated counseling, and is opening a sober living discipleship home for women. She's living proof that God meets us in our lowest moments — and doesn't leave us there.

In this conversation, Amanda shares it all: the childhood sexual abuse that started her running, the darkness that almost took her out, the woman named Carolyn who loved her without an agenda, and the moment she finally surrendered.

If you're in a season where you feel too far gone, this episode is for you. You're not.

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio & Apple Podcasts 📺 Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@RachelDFox 🌐 Learn more about Haia Ministries: www.chayahmin.org

Moses wasn't in trouble when God found him. He wasn't in crisis. He was just... hiding. Comfortable in Midian. Forty years into a life that was never meant to be his destination.

I think a lot of women are living in Midian right now.

This podcast is for the woman who feels like she's been on a scavenger hunt — searching for pieces of herself that got lost somewhere along the way. But I don't think you're searching for someone new. I think you're ready to reclaim the woman God called you to be from the very beginning.

Barefoot Conversations is not polished. Some stories might offend you. Some might be hard to hear. But if you're really listening, you'll hear God drop something on your heart.

Take off your sandals. This is holy ground.

I'm Rachel D. Fox. Episode one drops February 20th.

Her dad died when she was five. Her mom was kicked out of church and told God was punishing her. Andrea grew up without boundaries, without faith, and without anyone showing her what love looked like.

By 14, she ran away. By 15, she was in a home for troubled youth. One night, she jumped off a bridge and broke her leg. Her brother spent the entire night writing her a letter — because he thought she was dead.

In this episode, Andrea shares the decade she spent desperately hoping God was real. The night she was attacked in her apartment and knew He was. The 3 AM moment on a porch where God whispered, "Be still." The move to a tiny town in Iowa where she met her husband a month later. And the cancer diagnosis that arrived three days before she boarded a plane to Hawaii.

This is a story about body image and shame. About gaining 45 pounds on medication and learning that beauty isn't a size — it's a story. About a season where all God asked her to do was breathe.

If you've ever looked in the mirror and struggled to love what you see — this one's for you.

Guest: Andrea Mathes — With Light and Lens Photography (withlightandlens.com) Host: Rachel D. Fox

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