It's mailbag (malebag?) time! Sam and Grayson open up listener email. Topics include sexy underwear for guys, BateWorld as a good place for bi exploration, how to find a third for an MMF threesome, and bisexual vs. pansexual: which term should you use?

Disclaimer: The hosts aren't medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing here is medical, legal, or psychological advice — speak with a qualified provider about your own health and relationships.

Word of the Week: Edging
Bringing yourself (or a partner) right up to the point of orgasm, then backing off before going over, and repeating to build and prolong the pleasure. It has nothing to do with lawn care or brownie pans.

Glossary

• Gooning: Extended, often porn-fueled edging sessions, sometimes performed on camera. Not the hosts' thing.
• Third: A person invited to join an established couple for a threesome.
• MMF: A threesome with two men and one woman.
• The lifestyle: The swinger community and its apps, sites, and events.
• Pansexual: Attraction regardless of gender. Its flag is pink, yellow, and blue.

Apps and sites mentioned

• BateWorld: Online masturbation community for gay, bi, and straight men
• Feeld: Dating app for couples, singles, and non-monogamous connections
• SLS (SwingLifestyle) and SDC: Swinger sites; which one is busier varies by region
• Doublelist: Personal ads site
• Adult FriendFinder and Tinder: Where some couples also look for thirds

Next episode: Sam and Grayson pick their favorite bisexual characters in media.

Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write "OK for air" if we can read it on the show — and if you'd like to come on as a guest, same address). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and X, and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky.

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You found the guy. You did the vibe check. Now what? Sam and Grayson walk through the first in-person encounter with a new male partner: the nerves, the logistics, and the awkward "now what?" afterward. Grayson recounts his first planned meetup, arranged over AOL and set in an adult theater long before smartphones. Sam shares his, which began with an ATM eating his card. They cover what to negotiate beforehand (boundaries, experience level, who hosts, porn or no porn), how to prep if you're hosting, first moves, hand and oral technique, why speaking up mid-play matters, and the swallow conversation you need to have before the moment arrives. Plus: why kissing can feel more intimate than oral, and a cautionary tale about a kiss that ended a threesome before it started.

Disclaimer: The hosts aren't medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing here is medical, legal, or psychological advice — speak with a qualified provider about your own health and relationships.

Word of the Week: Cut / Uncut
A two-for-one you'll see constantly in men seeking men profiles. Cut means circumcised; uncut means uncircumcised. It has nothing to do with muscle definition, despite what Grayson first assumed.

Glossary

• Docking: Non-penetrative play where one partner's foreskin is drawn over the head of the other partner's penis.
• Vibe check: A low-stakes public meetup, such as a drink or a meal, before hooking up to confirm you're both comfortable.
• Hosting: Whose place the encounter happens at. The alternatives include a hotel, an adult bookstore or theater, or a car.
• Post-nut clarity: The shift in mood right after orgasm, which can range from relaxed to second-guessing everything.

Apps mentioned

• Sniffies: Map-based cruising platform for gay, bi, and bicurious men; runs in a web browser rather than an app store app
• Grindr: Location-based dating and hookup app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people

Next episode: It's mailbag time. Sam and Grayson dig into the questions, topics, and stories you've sent in.

Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write "OK for air" if we can read it on the show — and if you'd like to come on as a guest, same address). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and X, and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky.

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Almost every bi man asks himself this at some point. Sam and Grayson take Kinsey scale and Klein grid quizzes (Grayson retakes his on air), then get into who actually decides. Do you need an IRL experience to count? Do fantasies make you bi or bicurious? What about the bi-cycle, being bisexual but heteroromantic, or being in a straight-passing relationship? They talk imposter syndrome in gay spaces, being told you have to "prove it," and how pop culture from Friends to Seinfeld assumes everyone is one or the other. Grayson's wife gets better at pointing out cute firefighters, and Sam previews a bi night at a bathhouse. The bottom line: there's no test to pass, and labels are a convenience, not a requirement.

Heads up: 18+, adults only.

Disclaimer: The hosts aren't medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing here is medical, legal, or psychological advice — speak with a qualified provider about your own health and relationships.

Word of the Week (and Resource of the Week): the Kinsey scale and the Klein grid
The Kinsey scale, from Alfred Kinsey's 1948 research, rates sexual behavior and attraction from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual), with 1 through 5 in between. There's no official Kinsey test, but you can take an unofficial Kinsey scale quiz.
The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, developed by Dr. Fritz Klein in his 1978 book The Bisexual Option, goes further: seven factors (attraction, behavior, fantasies, emotional preference, social preference, lifestyle, and self-identification) rated across your past, present, and ideal future. It's a self-reflection tool, not a diagnosis.

Other terms:
Bi-cycle: the shift in how strongly you're drawn to one gender or another, week to week or even day to day. It doesn't make you less bi.
Heteroromantic: romantically attracted to a different gender, regardless of who you're sexually attracted to.
Bicurious: interested in or wondering about same-sex experiences.
Straight-passing: being read as straight by others, often because of who you're partnered with.

Watch: The Bisexual Problem, the video on bi representation in media that Grayson and Sam discuss.

Where do you land on the Kinsey scale or Klein grid? Still wondering if you're bi enough? Write in. Spoiler: the answer is yes.

Next episode: It's a mystery! And it's spooky season. Meanwhile, what's the most bisexual Halloween costume? Tell us.

Listen and subscribe here, and a rating or review helps other men find us.

Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write "OK for air" if we can read it on the show — and if you'd like to come on as a guest, same address). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and X, and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky.