Understanding Fawning: The Survival Response Behind People-Pleasing

You have heard of fight, flight or freeze response. What if I told you there is a fourth one? Well there is, fawning

Discover how what we often labeled as people-pleasing might actually be a complex trauma response called fawning. In this Call Me Courage Midweek Inspiration & Motivation episode, Kena explores the emotional roots, signs, and healing journey associated with this behavior, offering insights for anyone looking to reconnect with their true self.

• The difference between people-pleasing and fawning, and how it’s rooted in survival mechanisms
• The concept of fawning as a trauma response linked to complex PTSD, explained through Pete Walker’s insights
• How childhood experiences shape adult behaviors of codependency and constant caretaking
• Recognizing the signs of fawning in relationships: hyper-vigilance, emotional monitoring, loss of self-awareness
• The importance of understanding that fawning is not a flaw but a coping strategy
• Steps toward healing: setting boundaries, self-awareness, seeking support, and reconnecting with personal needs
• The role of therapy, support groups, and spiritual communities in the healing process
• How awareness can empower you to live more authentically and courageously

CHAPTERS

• (0:02) - Introduction: Are you a people pleaser? Fawning as a survival response
• (0:30) - Understanding fawning and complex PTSD
• (2:10) - The distinction between character flaws and trauma responses
• (3:36) - Reframing codependency: Trauma, not character defect
• (4:27) - Childhood conditions that lead to fawning behaviors
• (5:24) - The cycle of sacrifice and the illusion of love
• (5:54) - The hyper-vigilance of fawners and loss of safety
• (6:24) - Reflection on childhood needs and adult resilience
• (6:55) - The liberation of understanding your survival mechanisms
• (7:25) - The impact of unresolved pain on loved ones
• (7:53) - Steps toward healing: boundaries, self-worth, and support
• (8:04) - Practical tips for reclaiming your true self
• (8:53) - Resources for healing: therapy, community, spiritual practices

RESOURCES - Below are Amazon Canada Links, books can be found on other Amazon platforms in other countries.

• Fawning by Ingrid Clayton https://a.co/d/07X8D6U0
• CoDependent No More by Melody Beattie https://a.co/d/01nWrvjR
• Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker https://a.co/d/062UWsoP

Connect with Kena:

https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/contact-8

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

#fawning #fawner #codependent #codependency #peoplepleaser #c-ptsd #trauma #traumaresonse #healing #clarity #confidence #courage #callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast

In this episode, Sandra explores the deep roots of shame, inadequacy, and the ultimate betrayal of self when we abandon our true identity. She shares personal stories and insights on how these feelings impact our lives and how reconnecting with our true self can lead to healing and fulfillment.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Sandra and Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

SANDRA’S KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Inadequacy whispers “I can’t,” and shame twists it into “I’m not enough.”
• Avoidance isn’t failure — it’s protection from pain that feels too heavy to face.
• The real wound is the disconnection from our True Self — the part of us that knows our worth.
• Healing begins when we stop abandoning ourselves and return to alignment with who we truly are.

KENA’S NEW MANTRA FROM THIS EPISODE

“Can’t skip steps.”

This can from Sandra explaining that you need to do the work in order to uncover feelings especially the underlying feelings. There are no shortcuts, you cannot skip any of the steps.

KEYWORDS

shame, inadequacy, true self, emotional healing, self-trust, personal growth, vulnerability, self-awareness

KEY TOPICS

• The roots of shame and inadequacy
• The concept of the true self and alignment
• The impact of shame on self-trust and confidence
• The betrayal of self through shame and avoidance
• Strategies for reconnecting with the true self

TAKEAWAYS

• Inadequacy whispers, 'I can't,' and shame twists it into 'I'm not enough.'
• Avoidance isn't failure, it's protection from pain that feels too heavy to face.
• The real wound is the disconnection from our true self.
• Healing begins when we stop abandoning ourselves and return to alignment with who we truly are.

SOUND BITES

• "When shame and inadequacy pull us away from our true self, we abandon ourselves."
• "People will forget what you did, but never how you made them feel."
• "The ultimate betrayal is when we do it to ourselves."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Shame and Inadequacy

03:28 The Personal Weight Struggle and Shame

12:10 Understanding the Ultimate Betrayal

14:03 Connecting with the True Self

23:43 Conclusion and Next Steps

27:12 NEWCHAPTER

RESOURCES

The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N6V7V7Q

Maya Angelou's quote on feelings - https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/maya_angelou_121993

The Valid Method for emotional healing - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4hk6F3LbSQ&list=PLnX06q4KztMpozh8lBxBV2xZJy3gZDAUv&index=5

#TrueSelf #Shame #Betrayal #BabySteps #Inadequacy #Avoidance #Frustration #TrueSelf #AuthenticSelf #QuietSham #Clarity #Confidence #Courage

In this episode of the Call Me Courage Midweek Inspiration & Motivation, Kena explores the themes of self-protection, guilt, and codependency. She shares her personal experiences and insights on the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing one's own worth. The conversation emphasizes that protecting oneself is not selfish, but rather an act of self-respect. Kena encourages listeners to embrace their true selves and to understand that they are allowed to prioritize their own peace and well-being.

The episode explores the struggle with guilt when protecting oneself and living authentically, delving into the concept of codependency and its impact. It also touches on the fear of abandonment and the journey of self-discovery, concluding with insights on setting boundaries, self-respect, and managing guilt.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

KEYWORDS

codependency, self-protection, boundaries, guilt, personal growth, self-respect, emotional health, healing, courage, self-awareness

TAKEAWAYS

• Many people struggle with guilt when protecting themselves.
• Codependency often stems from a desire for love and validation.
• Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable but is necessary for self-care.
• People pleasing can lead to emotional exhaustion.
• Recognizing one's own worth is crucial for healing.
• Boundaries are a form of clarity, not punishment.
• It's okay to disappoint others to be true to oneself.
• Self-respect is essential for personal growth.
• You don't have to earn love through suffering.
• Choosing courage means prioritizing your own peace.

SOUND BITES

"Your peace matters."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Self-Protection and Guilt

01:53 Understanding Codependency

02:52 Signs of Codependency

05:34 Personal Journey and Spiritual Awakening

07:03 The Importance of Boundaries and Self-Respect

08:56 Closing Mantra

RESOURCES

Call Me Courage Resources https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

#boundries #codependent #codependency #selflove #sayno #noguilt #selfprotection #personalgrowth #selfcare #spiritualawakening #selfrespect #guilt #clarity #confidence #courage #callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast