Understanding Fawning: The Survival Response Behind People-Pleasing

You have heard of fight, flight or freeze response. What if I told you there is a fourth one? Well there is, fawning

Discover how what we often labeled as people-pleasing might actually be a complex trauma response called fawning. In this Call Me Courage Midweek Inspiration & Motivation episode, Kena explores the emotional roots, signs, and healing journey associated with this behavior, offering insights for anyone looking to reconnect with their true self.

• The difference between people-pleasing and fawning, and how it’s rooted in survival mechanisms
• The concept of fawning as a trauma response linked to complex PTSD, explained through Pete Walker’s insights
• How childhood experiences shape adult behaviors of codependency and constant caretaking
• Recognizing the signs of fawning in relationships: hyper-vigilance, emotional monitoring, loss of self-awareness
• The importance of understanding that fawning is not a flaw but a coping strategy
• Steps toward healing: setting boundaries, self-awareness, seeking support, and reconnecting with personal needs
• The role of therapy, support groups, and spiritual communities in the healing process
• How awareness can empower you to live more authentically and courageously

CHAPTERS

• (0:02) - Introduction: Are you a people pleaser? Fawning as a survival response
• (0:30) - Understanding fawning and complex PTSD
• (2:10) - The distinction between character flaws and trauma responses
• (3:36) - Reframing codependency: Trauma, not character defect
• (4:27) - Childhood conditions that lead to fawning behaviors
• (5:24) - The cycle of sacrifice and the illusion of love
• (5:54) - The hyper-vigilance of fawners and loss of safety
• (6:24) - Reflection on childhood needs and adult resilience
• (6:55) - The liberation of understanding your survival mechanisms
• (7:25) - The impact of unresolved pain on loved ones
• (7:53) - Steps toward healing: boundaries, self-worth, and support
• (8:04) - Practical tips for reclaiming your true self
• (8:53) - Resources for healing: therapy, community, spiritual practices

RESOURCES - Below are Amazon Canada Links, books can be found on other Amazon platforms in other countries.

• Fawning by Ingrid Clayton https://a.co/d/07X8D6U0
• CoDependent No More by Melody Beattie https://a.co/d/01nWrvjR
• Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker https://a.co/d/062UWsoP

Connect with Kena:

https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/contact-8

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

#fawning #fawner #codependent #codependency #peoplepleaser #c-ptsd #trauma #traumaresonse #healing #clarity #confidence #courage #callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast

In this episode, Sandra explores the deep roots of shame, inadequacy, and the ultimate betrayal of self when we abandon our true identity. She shares personal stories and insights on how these feelings impact our lives and how reconnecting with our true self can lead to healing and fulfillment.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Sandra and Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

SANDRA’S KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Inadequacy whispers “I can’t,” and shame twists it into “I’m not enough.”
• Avoidance isn’t failure — it’s protection from pain that feels too heavy to face.
• The real wound is the disconnection from our True Self — the part of us that knows our worth.
• Healing begins when we stop abandoning ourselves and return to alignment with who we truly are.

KENA’S NEW MANTRA FROM THIS EPISODE

“Can’t skip steps.”

This can from Sandra explaining that you need to do the work in order to uncover feelings especially the underlying feelings. There are no shortcuts, you cannot skip any of the steps.

KEYWORDS

shame, inadequacy, true self, emotional healing, self-trust, personal growth, vulnerability, self-awareness

KEY TOPICS

• The roots of shame and inadequacy
• The concept of the true self and alignment
• The impact of shame on self-trust and confidence
• The betrayal of self through shame and avoidance
• Strategies for reconnecting with the true self

TAKEAWAYS

• Inadequacy whispers, 'I can't,' and shame twists it into 'I'm not enough.'
• Avoidance isn't failure, it's protection from pain that feels too heavy to face.
• The real wound is the disconnection from our true self.
• Healing begins when we stop abandoning ourselves and return to alignment with who we truly are.

SOUND BITES

• "When shame and inadequacy pull us away from our true self, we abandon ourselves."
• "People will forget what you did, but never how you made them feel."
• "The ultimate betrayal is when we do it to ourselves."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Shame and Inadequacy

03:28 The Personal Weight Struggle and Shame

12:10 Understanding the Ultimate Betrayal

14:03 Connecting with the True Self

23:43 Conclusion and Next Steps

27:12 NEWCHAPTER

RESOURCES

The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N6V7V7Q

Maya Angelou's quote on feelings - https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/maya_angelou_121993

The Valid Method for emotional healing - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4hk6F3LbSQ&list=PLnX06q4KztMpozh8lBxBV2xZJy3gZDAUv&index=5

#TrueSelf #Shame #Betrayal #BabySteps #Inadequacy #Avoidance #Frustration #TrueSelf #AuthenticSelf #QuietSham #Clarity #Confidence #Courage

In this episode of the Call Me Courage Midweek Inspiration & Motivation, Kena explores the themes of self-protection, guilt, and codependency. She shares her personal experiences and insights on the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing one's own worth. The conversation emphasizes that protecting oneself is not selfish, but rather an act of self-respect. Kena encourages listeners to embrace their true selves and to understand that they are allowed to prioritize their own peace and well-being.

The episode explores the struggle with guilt when protecting oneself and living authentically, delving into the concept of codependency and its impact. It also touches on the fear of abandonment and the journey of self-discovery, concluding with insights on setting boundaries, self-respect, and managing guilt.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

KEYWORDS

codependency, self-protection, boundaries, guilt, personal growth, self-respect, emotional health, healing, courage, self-awareness

TAKEAWAYS

• Many people struggle with guilt when protecting themselves.
• Codependency often stems from a desire for love and validation.
• Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable but is necessary for self-care.
• People pleasing can lead to emotional exhaustion.
• Recognizing one's own worth is crucial for healing.
• Boundaries are a form of clarity, not punishment.
• It's okay to disappoint others to be true to oneself.
• Self-respect is essential for personal growth.
• You don't have to earn love through suffering.
• Choosing courage means prioritizing your own peace.

SOUND BITES

"Your peace matters."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Self-Protection and Guilt

01:53 Understanding Codependency

02:52 Signs of Codependency

05:34 Personal Journey and Spiritual Awakening

07:03 The Importance of Boundaries and Self-Respect

08:56 Closing Mantra

RESOURCES

Call Me Courage Resources https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

#boundries #codependent #codependency #selflove #sayno #noguilt #selfprotection #personalgrowth #selfcare #spiritualawakening #selfrespect #guilt #clarity #confidence #courage #callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast

In this Call Me Courage Midweek Inspiration & Motivation episode, Kena discusses the theme of judgment and its impact on personal growth and spirituality. She shares personal experiences and insights on releasing judgment, treating others with kindness, and the importance of understanding and compassion.

Listen to explore the profound impact of judgment on personal growth and relationships, emphasizing kindness, understanding, and spiritual development. This episode offers insights on releasing judgment, practicing kindness, and fostering inner peace.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

KEYWORDS

judgment, kindness, spiritual growth, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, compassion, mental health, personal development

KEY TOPICS

• The importance of releasing judgment for spiritual growth
• How judgment affects relationships and self-perception
• Practicing kindness and compassion in daily life

TITLES

• The Power of Releasing Judgment for Personal Growth
• How Kindness Transforms Your Relationships and Inner Peace

SOUND BITES

"Treat everyone with basic human respect."

"Pause and catch yourself judging."

"Spread kindness every chance you get."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Understanding Judgment: A Personal Journey

02:56 The Impact of Judgment on Relationships

05:46 Choosing Kindness Over Judgment

RESOURCES

Call Me Courage Podcast - https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/

#judgement #kindness #compassion #spiritualgrowth #bekind #donotjudgeothers #clarity #confidence #courage #callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast

In this episode of the Call Me Courage Midweek Inspiration & Motivation Kena explores how to live passionately without burnout, emphasizing balance, peace, and self-awareness. She shares insights on recognizing burnout, maintaining inner peace, and nurturing relationships while staying true to oneself.

The episode explores the concept of living one's passion without experiencing burnout. It delves into the distinction between passion and pressure, the recognition and understanding of burnout symptoms, the process of healing from burnout, navigating relationships, and embracing peace and power in living one's passion.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

KEYWORDS

burnout, passion, balance, self-awareness, peace, emotional health, purpose, relationships, self-care, motivation

KEY TOPICS

• Burnout signs and prevention
• Balancing passion and peace
• Relationship dynamics and growth
• Self-awareness and boundaries

TAKEAWAYS

• Burnout is not just fatigue; it's emotional and spiritual depletion.
• Passion becomes depletion when it turns into pressure.
• Balance involves creating from inspiration, not pressure.
• Recognizing burnout signs like irritability and disconnection.
• Healing burnout is about changing your relationship with your work.
• Your purpose should nourish, not consume, you.
• Confidence can trigger ego traps; stay mindful.
• Your true power is in making heavy things feel lighter.

TITLES

• Living Your Passion Without Burning Out: A Guide to Balance
• How to Maintain Peace While Pursuing Your Purpose

SOUND BITES

"Your passion is not the problem."

"Balance is the key to sustainable passion."

"Hold your passion with more grace and peace."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Passion and Burnout

03:21 Understanding Burnout

06:34 Finding Balance in Passion

07:38 Navigating Relationships and Ego

08:39 The Invitation to Choose Peace

RESOURCES

Call Me Courage Podcast - https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/

Call Me Courage Blog - https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

#burnout #passion #livepassionately #choosepeace #takecareofyou #clarity #confidence #courage #callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast

In this episode, Sandra explores the deep emotional journey of frustration, failure, and self-discovery. She shares personal insights on how armor, guilt, and self-doubt can block growth and offers practical steps to transform frustration into opportunities for healing and evolution.

The conversation delves into the weight of frustration, the Valid method for learning and resolving, the impact of childhood armor, and the power of intention. It also explores the concept of not taking things personally and the process of rebuilding confidence.

https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/

SANDRA’S KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Frustration is a call for change — not a dead end.
• We often stop trying because failing hurts more than giving up.
• Armour can block creativity, flexibility, and growth.
• Learning requires identifying the unmet need underneath the frustration.
• Intention shifts us from surviving to evolving.
• Not taking things personally prevents us from slipping into victimhood.
• Rebuilding confidence is part of the healing process.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Sandra and Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

KEYWORDS

personal growth, frustration, armor, self-coaching, emotional healing, confidence, self-awareness, transformation

KEY TOPICS

• The role of armor developed in childhood and its impact on adult growth
• The Valid Method: Valuing feelings, asking questions, learning, and intention
• How frustration signals the need for change and growth
• The importance of not taking things personally to avoid victimhood
• Rebuilding confidence through self-awareness and compassion

TITLES

• The Hidden Power of Frustration: A Personal Journey
• Breaking Through Armor: How to Heal and Grow

SOUND BITES

• "Identifying unmet needs is key to healing."
• "We choose our family and lessons before birth."
• "Shift from surviving to evolving with intention."

CHAPTERS

00:00 The Weight of Frustration and Shame

04:51 Understanding the Valid Method

08:30 The Armor We Wear

14:13 The Role of Family in Our Growth

20:00 Lessons from Life's Challenges

25:52 Intention and Personal Growth

30:08 Rebuilding Confidence and Empowerment

33:47 NEWCHAPTER

RESOURCES

• The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A7U4V4Q
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1878424319

#callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast #armor #frustration #VALID #callforchange #clarity #confidence #courage

This Call Me Courage Midweek Inspiration & Motivation episode explores the transformative power of clarity in life. Kena focuses on the importance of clarity in life and how it can lead to courage and intention. It explores the concept of clarity, understanding Venus and relating, getting clear with a simple exercise, tools for clarity and consistency, and defining core values and a mission statement. The key takeaways are the significance of clarity and the power of intention.

Kena shares practical exercises, insights from astrology, and personal strategies to help listeners gain awareness, set intentions, and make meaningful changes with baby steps.

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage blog page. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

KEYWORDS

clarity, self-awareness, personal growth, intention, habits, astrology, self-improvement, motivation, mindfulness, life coaching

KEY TOPICS

• The importance of clarity in life
• Practical exercises for self-awareness
• Using astrology to understand personal preferences
• Setting intentions with core values and mission statements

TAKEAWAYS

• Clarity begins with awareness and honesty.
• Small, intentional steps lead to lasting change.
• Focus on one area at a time for success.
• Create a mantra to anchor your progress.
• Baby steps build lifelong habits

TITLES

• The Power of Clarity: How Small Steps Lead to Big Changes
• Unlock Your Inner Courage Through Clarity

SOUND BITES

"Venus is about relating, not just love."

"Awareness is where your clarity begins."

"Baby steps can turn into lifelong changes."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Finding Clarity: The Key to Courage

02:51 Understanding Likes and Dislikes for Clarity

06:00 Taking Action: Small Steps Towards Clarity

RESOURCES

• Call Me Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/call-me-courage/id1870941728
• Lila Astrology App - Co-creator Ricky Williams - Venus Workshop - https://www.lilaverse.app/
• The Tapping Solution - https://www.thetappingsolution.com/
• Call Me Courage Blog with links to finding therapist sites https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

#clarity #intention #selfawareness #personalgrowth #habits #motivation#mindfulness #confidence #courage #callmecourage #callmecouragepodcast

In this Call Me Courage Episode, Sandra and Kena explore the wisdom of feelings, focusing on the feeling of frustration. They discuss the importance of intentional growth, the internal and external aspects of personal development, and the practical application of the VALID method for understanding and addressing feelings.

The VALID method is Sandra’s curated portion of her PEP (Personal Evolution Practice).

The opinions shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts, Sandra and Kena. If you are in crisis or feel you may be in danger, please seek professional help. Additional support resources can be found on the Call Me Courage Blog. https://www.callmecouragepodcast.com/blog

SANDRA’S KEY TAKE AWAYS

• Feelings are signals — and all feelings are valuable even if they feel negative.
• Naming the feeling is the first step toward understanding it.
• Valuing the feeling reconnects us with our inner guide.
• Frustration is a secondary feeling — it comes from an unmet need.
• Depression can sometimes be the body’s way of forcing a pause.
• Frustration is a call for change, not a failure.
• Quietly giving up can create shame — and that shame deserves compassion and understanding.

KEYWORDS

feelings, frustration, valid method, emotional intelligence, personal growth, inner guide, self-awareness, emotional signals, mental health, resilience

KEY TOPICS

• The valid method for understanding feelings
• The difference between primary, secondary, and tertiary feelings
• How frustration signals unmet needs
• Creating respite to manage difficult emotions
• The importance of valuing and naming feelings

CO-HOST

Sandra and Kena

SOUND BITS

• "Frustration signals unmet needs."
• "Frustration is a call for change."
• "Leave it, change it, or accept it."

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to the Wisdom of Feelings

01:56 Understanding the Valid Method

04:23 Valuing Frustration: Acknowledging Feelings

08:25 Exploring the Wisdom of Frustration

11:32 Frustration as a Call for Change

14:50 Accepting, Changing, or Leaving: A Practical Approach

18:54 Creating a Respite from Frustration

20:23 Wrap-Up and Key Takeaways

RESOURCES

• The Secret Language of Feelings by Calvin D. Banyan
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
• Eckhart Tolle Website
• Call Me Courage Website

#frustration #respite #Acceptance #Change #ValueFeelings #VALID #PEP #CallMeCourage #CallMeCouragePodcast