Dear folks of Baba,
Baba said that for this advent “the path is through people.”
Baba once said, “All differences between one another are merely superficial and cannot affect the love we feel for each other deep down.” I take this to mean that the love we have for each other doesn’t grow; it is already complete; the challenge is to remove the impediments, the veils, that prevent us from seeing the truth of Baba’s words. In fact, asserting this loving truth inwardly to others sometimes actually awakens a more favorable attitude toward us from those who otherwise might be inclined to dislike us and withhold their love. Why? Because in some small measure, we are reflecting their own loving soul back to them, a truth that we all have been unconsciously longing to experience.
Ideally, it is best for us to allow the love in our soul to flow continuously toward everyone and everything, and it is the heart that is our primary vehicle in relating personally to others. Baba once said to the mandali, “Not too near, not too far.” I take this to mean that we have a responsibility to know where to position our heart with its love in relation to others. If, for example, we know a person is prickly or abrasive, we may have to position our heart at some distance so as that it is not unnecessarilyhurt and shut down. In this way, we can continue to send them love safely from our heart. In another example, if we let our heart flow out too intimately to someone, we might inadvertently signal to them that we have a romantic interest and they may feel hurt when we don’t reciprocate. Or, sometimes our own heart is hurt because we have misjudged someone by getting too close, and we may react by withdrawing our heart too far and put up a wall. There are other times when we might be too warm to someone and they feel that we are extending a lifelong friendship to them, something that due to circumstances we may not be able to follow through with. Sometimes it is even wise to keep a polite distance with our heart. In all these examples, it is important that at the level of the spirit our love continues to flow from wherever we position our heart. It is not that the heart is always positioned in relation to others in a fixed place. Even during the course of a conversation, as we are getting to know someone, we may have to adjust our position a number of times depending on the signals we are getting. It is important to be flexible about where we place our heart. Unfortunately, some people, without realizing it, position their heart “too far” from others and miss out on the joy of the give-and-take of love. At times it may be important to position our heart in a very firm yet loving place when we have to be entirely direct with someone who is being inappropriate. Usually over time, our intuition positions our heart spontaneously and fluidly in relation to others without our conscious involvement. Throughout our life, we all have been engaged in this process at one level or another; it is making this more conscious.
All this for me has been a work in progress, keeping the heart flowing with love in all circumstances, and through such efforts, a greater sensitivity is developed over time. The main purpose is that we don’t want to let our heart shut down completely toward any circumstance or anyone. This is a tall, tall order. I have come to see it as my responsibility to be aware and sensitive to where I place my heart in relation to others, and if I am deeply hurt by someone, I do not take it as their fault really (even though their behavior may be unacceptable), but as a mistake on my part for having left my heart unnecessarily vulnerable. Over the years, in holding myself accountable rather than in blaming others for hurting me or making me uncomfortable, I have learned from my mistakes. I don’t mean to imply that when someone is very abusive to us that we don’t distance ourselves from such persons, but we hold them accountable when they are truly inappropriate. Many of us have been taught to be “pleasant” with others, even martyrs, and accept and overlook the abusive and cruel behavior of others. We can get ourselves unnecessarily hurt. It’s important that the heart remains inwardly open, but not necessarily open to all others at an external level. That is, we remain radiating love invisibly to others, but we sometimes have to withhold expressing it when faced with an abusive and negative situation.
“To love one soul is like adding its life to your own, and your life is, as it were, multiplied and you virtually live in two centers. If you love the whole world, you vicariously live in the whole world.” - Meher Baba
In His love, Jeff
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