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Decoding Attachment Styles

Decoding Attachment Styles

Written by: Annalisa Bahadur
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I talk about the push and pull and the anxious spiral that so many of us have experienced in one or more relationships. I've had my share of these experiences and I learned to heal my anxious attachment.


On this podcast I share everything I know from text books, to observations and my personal research on the topic as I live and breathe it.


As a kid, I got into trouble for asking why questions. It was considered rude to question an adult but I always wanted the reasoning behind what was being asked or expected me, and how the world and the people in it worked. It's helped me over the decades pick up some interesting things about people with different attachment styles.


The first thing I noticed was - and this is how I imagined it - everyone got a script on how to be for their own survival. And there are four scripts - Anxious, Dismissive and Fearful avoidant, and the Secure attached.


There is a particular way they behave, interact, speak, solve problems, write a text, walk, sit, eat, gain success or never do...and when you see it you won't be able to unseen it.


I'm sharing everything I know and if you find this topic fascinating, or you just need to understand why your partner, parent, sibling, friend or whomever act in ways you just can't understand - welcome.

© 2026 Decoding Attachment Styles Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Self-Help Success
Episodes
  • How to Get Over a Breakup?

    How to Get Over a Breakup?
    Aug 20 2026

    In this episode, I’m joined by attachment coaches Marta and Duncan for an open conversation about breakups, attachment, and why knowing you should move on doesn’t necessarily make it easier to do.

    We talk about what keeps us emotionally attached, why some breakups are harder to recover from than others, and what may actually be happening underneath the urge to hold on, reach out, or hope they’ll come back.

    This isn’t an interview. It’s three attachment coaches having an honest conversation about the psychology of letting go and what it takes to finally begin moving forward.

    I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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    58 mins
  • Why Your Partner Can't Be the Adult You Need

    Why Your Partner Can't Be the Adult You Need
    Aug 12 2026

    We spend a lot of time asking why our partners behave the way they do.

    But how often do we ask ourselves what our own childhood taught us about being an adult?

    In this episode, we explore how the lessons we learned growing up shape our relationships today - from anxious and avoidant patterns to what secure attachment actually looks like in everyday life.

    We'll talk about responsibility, boundaries, compassion, and why understanding someone's past doesn't mean you have to build your future around it.

    If you've ever wondered why the same relationship patterns keep showing up, this conversation is for you.

    I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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    45 mins
  • What To Do When Partner Can't Give You What You Need

    What To Do When Partner Can't Give You What You Need
    Aug 3 2026

    It is frustrating when a partner can't give you what you need especially after they promised or implied they could.

    We try to change them - or their mind.

    We hope they can change and become the person we thought they were when we first met.

    We struggle with the fear of the relationship ending, lashing out with hurtful words, doing things that causes more damage - and then regretting them all when we are calm.

    This episodes walks you through what you can do before the damage is done.

    Breathing tips as promised in this episode -

    • Practice 5 minutes a day and build from there
    • Focus on your breathing and learn its natural rhythm before you do anything.
    • Intentionally breathe deeply - in and out.
    • Ask your doctor about box breathing exercises and if it's right for you. This is great for calming the nervous system and helping us respond with clear intentions instead of reacting.

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    I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.

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    20 mins
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