Thomas Hale’s life began in a neonatal unit, one of five babies fighting to survive. From the very start, his body was shaped by medical trauma—surgeries, sepsis, cerebral palsy, and a lifetime of resilience forged long before most people learn what survival costs. By seventeen, he had lost his bladder and bowel. Independence became something he had to fight for daily, quietly, and without applause.

What followed, years later, was not just a marriage—but a slow, devastating lesson in coercive control.

From the outside, the relationship appeared loving, stable, and safe. Behind closed doors, control tightened. Thomas speaks with clarity and dignity about how it unfolded: constant phone monitoring, isolation from friends and family, financial restriction that left him with £20 a fortnight, cycles of intimidation and violence, and self-harm used as a weapon to keep him fearful and compliant. Just three days after the wedding, the mask slipped—and seven and a half years of isolation followed.

Life became smaller. One room. Repetition. Survival through habit and adrenaline.

Until one hour changed everything.

With no certainty of safety and no guarantee of support, Thomas made a decision that required extraordinary courage. A taxi. A call for help. A step into the unknown.

What comes next is not a neat recovery story, but an honest one. Rebuilding trust after being disbelieved. Re-establishing boundaries without apology. Reconnecting with people who only ever saw the public performance of the relationship. Finding joy again through theatre, live music, and creativity. Learning to live fully while carrying both visible and invisible scars.

As a sponsor of this channel, Thomas does not share his story for sympathy. He shares it to educate, to protect, and to give language to experiences that too often remain hidden. He names the red flags clearly—surveillance, financial control, isolation, humiliation, threats framed as care—so others can recognise danger sooner and leave more safely.

Thomas reminds us that pain does not need comparison to be valid. That courage is not loud or heroic—it is often quiet, trembling, and decisive. And that help exists, even when the world feels silent.

His medical challenges continue. His advocacy continues. And so does his commitment to choosing truth, dignity, and hope over silence.

This episode covers:

• Quintuplet birth and neonatal survival
• Cerebral palsy, bladder failure, repeated surgeries, and dual stomas
• Identity, confidence, and relationships with disability
• Miscarriage and shared grief
• Coercive control: surveillance, isolation, and financial abuse
• Violence and self-harm used as manipulation
• Losing work, friendships, and family contact for seven and a half years
• The breaking point and planning a safe exit
• Recovery through boundaries, community, and creative expression
• Practical red flags and guidance for safe leaving
• Why no one should face coercive control alone

This conversation exists because courage was chosen in silence.

Thomas Hale’s story is not shared for shock, sympathy, or headlines. It is shared because coercive control thrives in isolation, disbelief, and quiet dismissal. By speaking openly, Thomas is helping create the language, awareness, and confidence others may need to recognise what is happening in their own lives.

As a sponsor of this channel, Thomas supports the work of bringing real stories into the open—stories that challenge assumptions, confront uncomfortable truths, and remind people that abuse does not always look the way we expect it to. Control can be subtle. It can wear the mask of care. And it can happen to anyone.

If you recognise yourself in any part of this episode, know this:

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“Welcome to Definitely Not Therapy…
the place where real life finally gets a voice.

I’m Dan Lawrence — someone once called me a social media sensation, so I’m rolling with it — but this show… it is not about hype.
It is about honesty.

Every episode, I sit down with a complete stranger.
Someone carrying a story.
Someone who’s lived through the kind of moments that break you…
and somehow found a way to stand back up again.

Because life does hit hard.
We do fall apart at the seams.
But when we talk…
when we open up…
when we share the trauma we were told to bury…
we realise we’re not the only ones fighting for tomorrow.

Here, nothing is filtered.
Nothing is off-limits.
Men’s mental health, stigma, shame, fear — we bring it all to the table.
It is not therapy.
It is two humans being real for an hour.
And sometimes… that’s enough to save someone’s day.

If you’ve got a story — if you’ve walked through darkness, healing, chaos, or change — and you want to share it with Dan…
email onlydanlawrence@gmail.com
.
Your story might be the one that helps someone choose tomorrow.

And if this episode helps you —
subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a nudge to check in or finally speak up.
Let’s spread these conversations further, together.

This is Definitely Not Therapy.
Let’s talk.”**

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What happens after you ask for help — and the help still does not come?

This episode lives in that space.

In a raw and deeply honest conversation, James opens up about the months that followed reaching out for mental health support — an eight-month wait that became one of the most challenging chapters of his life. It is a story shaped by grief, pressure, responsibility, and the quiet reality that resilience sometimes has to last far longer than anyone warns you it will.

James speaks openly about the weight of being “the happy one” — the person others lean on, the one who keeps everything moving, while slowly unravelling behind the scenes. He shares the reality of supporting a daughter living with a serious eating disorder, navigating a system that keeps shifting the rules, and standing firm in the belief that men’s voices belong at the centre of mental health conversations — not on the margins.

This episode shines a light on experiences many across the UK — and around the world — will recognise:
being reassessed because life circumstances changed, being redirected to new services with fresh waiting lists, and the crushing sense of starting again just as hope begins to return. We also talk candidly about the emotional impact of social media — how curated happiness can deepen isolation, and why honest, balanced stories do far more good than flawless feeds ever could.

But this conversation is not only about what is broken.

It is about what keeps people going.

James shares what is helping now: peer-led spaces like Andy’s Man Club and local initiatives such as Bottled Up Blokes — places where men can walk in, sit down, and be heard without fixing, performing, or pretending. We explore practical tools listeners can use immediately: asking twice, listening properly, setting early warning signs, and choosing one small joy that reliably lifts the day.

For James, that joy arrived unexpectedly — musical theatre nights with his son. For someone listening, it might be a short walk to a community room where someone remembers your name.

This episode is for anyone who has ever:

• waited too long for support
• carried everyone else while neglecting themselves
• masked pain behind humour or strength
• or questioned whether their voice even mattered

If this resonates, follow the show, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so these stories can reach further.
And when the episode ends, send a message to someone you care about — and ask the second question:

How are you really?

In this episode, we explore:

• men masking pain as “the happy one”
• eight-month waits and redirected mental health support
• grief compounding existing mental health struggles
• supporting a child with an eating disorder
• charities bridging gaps in UK mental health services
• peer groups as fast access, safety, and belonging
• how to ask twice — and truly listen
• social media pressure on men and young people
• early warning signs and personal coping tools
• kindness online and the cost of casual comments
• small joys that build resilience and hope

Please visit www.belltrades.co.uk
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Anxiety might not come with a script—but if it did, it would probably sound like Chloe Kent. In this episode, we sit down with the viral comedian whose sharp skits have taken over timelines, and we step past the punchlines to explore the real life beneath them. Chloe opens up about the health spirals that escalate from zero to ten, the catastrophising that hits on planes, in theme parks and at the most inconvenient moments, and the pressure to be “on” at every event, doorstep, and PR night. She talks honestly about the gap between her online character and the quieter human behind it—and why protecting that gap has helped her stay grounded.

We go deep into the reality of working in comedy in 2025: the culture of instant backlash, the shrinking room for error, and the strain of navigating humour in a world where context gets stripped and labels stick. Chloe shares how editing became her creative superpower, giving her the control that the stage never allowed—tight cuts, sharper timing, and humour delivered without unnecessary fallout. We also unpack the difference between online negativity and real-life kindness, and how hearing “you made my day” from someone face to face can silence a thousand anonymous trolls.

At the heart of this conversation is something universal: belief. Losing it, rebuilding it, and leaning on the people who hold it for you when you cannot. Chloe speaks about hacked accounts, grief, rebuilding confidence, and the steadying influence of partners, parents, and friends when the inner critic takes over. Not every creator fits the flashy, jet-set influencer mould—and Chloe is living proof that comedy, creativity, and family life can coexist on your own terms. Her five-year plan is refreshingly real: stay alive for her kids, stay happy enough to keep creating, and keep telling the truth—one joke at a time.

If you’ve ever felt the tug-of-war between panic and performance, or struggled to show up online while holding your life together offline, this episode offers honesty, humour, and a huge amount of relief.

In this episode we cover:

• how daily anxiety both fuels and disrupts comedy
• worst-case thinking, health fears, and spirals
• posting while anxious—and surviving the comment section
• persona vs person: the difference that protects your mental health
• meeting followers in real life (and why they’re kinder offline)
• cancel culture, tighter joke margins, and writing safer, sharper material
• why editing beats the stage for anxious creatives
• industry entitlement, event culture, and choosing not to play the game
• finding support through grief, setbacks and hacked accounts
• simple, powerful goals: stability, joy and sustainable creativity

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Finance options available.
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A firefighter sits down and opens up about the story most men avoid: how quick decisions, hidden anxiety, and a distorted sense of duty can slowly pull a family apart. Matt’s journey begins with easy credit at eighteen and the adrenaline of dodging consequences, moves through bailiffs at the door and a marriage strained by inconsistency, and eventually ends up in a quiet room where an ADHD diagnosis finally connects the dots.

We dive into the fine line between serving and avoiding, how being “needed” at work can become a shield from being present at home, and why a leadership coach’s blunt warning—“passionate but inconsistent”—hit harder than any siren. Matt resisted medication for two years, relying on discipline, gym sessions, and sleep routines. His breakthrough was simple but profound: fewer mental tabs open, a calm conversation in the car, and a dog walk that felt like peace instead of pressure. The real shift came in a small moment—his daughter asking to play cricket and Matt saying yes without a battle inside. That quiet yes rewired everything.

We explore ADHD beyond the clichés—its overlap with anxiety and low mood, the chemistry behind hyperfocused kitchen renovations and abandoned skirting boards, and the emotional cost of living life in a loop of good intentions and disappointment. There’s no hero arc here, just real steps forward: honest check-ins, simpler routines, water and protein, medication when willpower ran dry, and the courage to be radically honest at home. Alongside Matt’s story, I share the shock of losing an online partnership, rebuilding identity in public, and staying committed to the work you love when everyone has an opinion.

If you’ve ever felt unreliable despite trying your best, or guilty for missing the moments that matter most, this conversation gives you language, insight, and practical tools to reset and begin again.

What we cover:

• how impulsive money decisions spiralled into long-term pressure
• how COVID blurred the line between service and avoidance
• where trust cracked in marriage—and the cost of inconsistency
• what ADHD looked like in real daily life
• why private diagnosis changed everything
• how stimulants improved focus, patience, and presence
• the guilt of missed moments—and the path to repair
• reframing “passionate but inconsistent” at work and home
• hyperfocus wins vs dopamine droughts
• identity, loss, and rebuilding confidence after going public

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and leave a quick review—your words help the next person find theirs.

Get yourself a quote. What have you got to lose?

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What if the story that nearly broke you becomes the reason someone else chooses to stay another day?
This episode holds that kind of power.

We sit with Elliot, a single dad who rebuilt his life after betrayal, grief by suicide, and a world that still whispers to fathers, “You’re secondary.” This is not a filtered conversation. It is raw, human, and full of the truth people never say out loud.

Elliot speaks openly about losing his identity after separation, the fear of being judged for asking for help, and the pressure of performing strength when inside everything is shaking. He walks us through his long journey to a borderline personality disorder diagnosis — the triggers around loss and rejection, the emotional whiplash that can flip a day upside down, and the relief of finally hearing, “You’re not broken — this has a name.”

We go deeper than clichés about co-parenting. We talk about the reality: the moments dads get overlooked in schools, surgeries, and even in court phone calls; the fear that speaking honestly about mental health could be used against you; and the slow but real shift in the courts toward fairness, balance, and 50-50 care where it is safe.

And then we build forward.
With tools that actually work in real life:
• grounding techniques that calm your mind
• routines that steady you when everything feels fragile
• boundaries without guilt
• small wins that make tomorrow feel possible
• mates who show up
• and the reminder that your child wants you, not your perfection

We also make room for joy — late-night kid one-liners, laughter that resets your breath, burritos with old friends, and the tiny moments that prove healing is not loud, it is steady.

If you have ever felt alone, ashamed, or scared to speak up, this episode is your hand on the shoulder. A map back to yourself. Proof that sharing one hard story can save someone’s tomorrow.

Legal Note (Important Context at the Time of Recording)

When this episode was recorded, UK child-contact law was different.
In October 2025, the government announced plans to abolish the presumption that a child automatically benefits from contact with both parents.

This means:
• no automatic assumption in favour of both parents
• child safety and wellbeing become the absolute priority
• emotional and coercive abuse now weighs far more heavily
• courts can limit, supervise, or fully refuse contact where credible risk exists
These changes will be added to the Children Act 1989 when parliamentary time allows.

If you are navigating separation now, seek advice through GOV.UK, family law specialists, and mediation where safe.

If This Episode Helps You, Please Support Us

Your support keeps these conversations alive. It helps us reach more people who feel alone in the dark.
Follow the show, share the episode, or donate to keep our mission going.

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A dad of eight turns late-night lyrics into lifelines while caring for a partner living with bipolar, BPD, chronic pain, and severe asthma.

How do you hold a household together when the carer is running on empty? John—dad of eight, full-time carer, and aspiring songwriter—opens up about school bullying, quiet grief, and the strain of supporting a partner through bipolar disorder, BPD, chronic pain, and severe asthma. We talk men’s mental health, the pressure of social media, and why ten minutes of courage—calling a friend, walking into a group, or hitting record—can change a family’s future. John also shares how AI-assisted songwriting helps him process the ache and celebrate the fragile wins. This is a conversation about resilience, creativity, and the small rituals that keep us here.

Email: onlydanlawrence@gmail.com

• Caring on empty: diabetes, fatigue, and the hidden cost of being “the strong one.”
• Bullying’s long tail: what schools miss, and how to push for real interventions.
• Living alongside bipolar, BPD, chronic pain, and severe asthma—what helps and what harms.
• Men’s mental health: why bottling up backfires, and simple check-ins that actually work.
• Grief in the background: when songs heal you—and undo you.
• Making music at midnight: how AI tools help John write, produce, and breathe.
• Parenting on purpose: choosing presence over presents and building memory rituals.
• Building a support network when you are “not a talker.”

If this helped you: subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a nudge to check in—or to finally speak up.

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What happens when the thing that saved you becomes the thing you have to leave behind?

At six years old, Matt Power was told he’d never ride a bike. Instead, he fought his way into the world of combat sports — MMA, K1, Muay Thai, and boxing — chasing televised highs, adrenaline, and purpose. But one fight changed everything: a brain injury, small vessel disease, and a year spent mostly in bed.

Without the gym’s rhythm, the silence got loud — loss, gaslighting, and PTSD turned sleep into a battlefield. Yet two anchors held: a brother who never stopped showing up and a father who flew him to Spain and cried at the airport.

In this unfiltered, powerful conversation, Matt opens up about:

• Growing up with dyspraxia and learning resilience through stubborn practice
• Switching between fighting styles and redefining what “strength” means
• Surviving trauma, isolation, and emotional abuse
• The diagnosis that ended his career — and the therapy that saved his life
• How EMDR, family, and love rebuilt his identity and hope

Now, as a partner and stepdad, Matt shares what it really takes to rebuild:
Resilience as a trainable skill, boundaries that protect healing, and the power of chosen family to bring light back into dark places.

This episode is raw, honest, and life-giving — perfect for anyone navigating men’s mental health, PTSD recovery, or life after sport.

🎯 If it hits home, please share, subscribe, and leave a review. Every listen helps others find stories that remind them they’re not alone.

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