Have you ever wanted closeness… but the moment things turned sexual, your body pulled back?

Or wanted desire… but suddenly felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or numb?

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we introduce the concept of toggling — the ability to move back and forth between safety and stimulation, comfort and edge, without shutting down or pushing through discomfort.

Because great intimacy isn’t about staying turned on the whole time.

It’s about knowing when to lean in — and when to soften.

We explore:

• Why desire lives in the nervous system, not just the mind
• How too much safety can flatten desire — and too much intensity can overwhelm it
• Why pausing doesn’t kill the mood (and often creates more desire)
• What toggling looks like in real-life intimacy, not theory
• Common mistakes couples make when someone needs to slow down
• Language partners can use to pause without disconnecting
• A simple toggle practice you can try together this week

If you’ve ever felt like intimacy swings between “too much” and “not enough,” this episode will help you find the middle ground where connection and desire can coexist.

Most couples think intimacy is shaped by what happens before sex or during it.

But research and experience tell a different story.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we explore why what happens after sex plays a powerful role in emotional safety, bonding, and whether you’ll actually want intimacy again in the future.

We talk about:

• Why the moments after sex are emotionally vulnerable (even when the sex was good)
• How oxytocin and memory shape desire moving forward
• The subtle ways couples disconnect without realizing it
• Common after-sex habits that unintentionally shut desire down
• What healthy “landing” after intimacy actually looks like
• Simple ways to help your partner feel seen, safe, and connected once sex ends

If you’ve ever felt close during sex but strangely distant afterward or noticed desire fading even when intimacy seemed fine — this episode will help you understand why, and what to do instead.

Because sex doesn’t end at orgasm.

Connection ends when you both feel settled again.

If you’ve ever noticed that one of you almost always initiates intimacy — while the other rarely does — you’re not alone.

This dynamic is incredibly common in long-term relationships, and it’s far more about how desire works than how much someone wants their partner.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we unpack the initiation gap — why it forms, why it hurts so deeply, and how couples can rebalance intimacy without pressure, resentment, or shutdown.

We explore:

• Why most couples naturally fall into an initiator/responder pattern
• The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire (and why it matters)
• How repeated rejection trains the nervous system to stop initiating
• Why stress and mental load suppress desire — especially for the partner carrying more responsibility
• How cultural scripts shape who initiates and who waits
• What not to do when initiation feels uneven
• Practical, science-informed ways to share responsibility for connection

If initiation has started to feel risky, exhausting, or emotionally loaded, this episode will help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface — and give you tools to reconnect in ways that feel safe, mutual, and genuine again.