Have you ever wanted closeness… but the moment things turned sexual, your body pulled back?

Or wanted desire… but suddenly felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or numb?

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we introduce the concept of toggling — the ability to move back and forth between safety and stimulation, comfort and edge, without shutting down or pushing through discomfort.

Because great intimacy isn’t about staying turned on the whole time.

It’s about knowing when to lean in — and when to soften.

We explore:

• Why desire lives in the nervous system, not just the mind
• How too much safety can flatten desire — and too much intensity can overwhelm it
• Why pausing doesn’t kill the mood (and often creates more desire)
• What toggling looks like in real-life intimacy, not theory
• Common mistakes couples make when someone needs to slow down
• Language partners can use to pause without disconnecting
• A simple toggle practice you can try together this week

If you’ve ever felt like intimacy swings between “too much” and “not enough,” this episode will help you find the middle ground where connection and desire can coexist.

Most couples think intimacy is shaped by what happens before sex or during it.

But research and experience tell a different story.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we explore why what happens after sex plays a powerful role in emotional safety, bonding, and whether you’ll actually want intimacy again in the future.

We talk about:

• Why the moments after sex are emotionally vulnerable (even when the sex was good)
• How oxytocin and memory shape desire moving forward
• The subtle ways couples disconnect without realizing it
• Common after-sex habits that unintentionally shut desire down
• What healthy “landing” after intimacy actually looks like
• Simple ways to help your partner feel seen, safe, and connected once sex ends

If you’ve ever felt close during sex but strangely distant afterward or noticed desire fading even when intimacy seemed fine — this episode will help you understand why, and what to do instead.

Because sex doesn’t end at orgasm.

Connection ends when you both feel settled again.

If you’ve ever noticed that one of you almost always initiates intimacy — while the other rarely does — you’re not alone.

This dynamic is incredibly common in long-term relationships, and it’s far more about how desire works than how much someone wants their partner.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we unpack the initiation gap — why it forms, why it hurts so deeply, and how couples can rebalance intimacy without pressure, resentment, or shutdown.

We explore:

• Why most couples naturally fall into an initiator/responder pattern
• The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire (and why it matters)
• How repeated rejection trains the nervous system to stop initiating
• Why stress and mental load suppress desire — especially for the partner carrying more responsibility
• How cultural scripts shape who initiates and who waits
• What not to do when initiation feels uneven
• Practical, science-informed ways to share responsibility for connection

If initiation has started to feel risky, exhausting, or emotionally loaded, this episode will help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface — and give you tools to reconnect in ways that feel safe, mutual, and genuine again.

Curious about sex toys but not sure where to start — or how to bring it up without making things weird?

You’re not alone. Most couples are interested in using toys together… they just don’t know how to talk about it.

In this week’s episode of Do You Feel That?, we break down everything you need to know to explore toys in a way that feels fun, connected, and completely pressure-free.

We cover:

• Why toys aren’t replacements — they’re connection tools
• How to introduce the idea without hurting feelings
• What most couples get wrong about toys
• The best beginner toys for shared pleasure
• What not to buy when you’re just getting started
• How toys can reduce performance pressure and increase intimacy
• The communication tricks that make exploration feel natural and playful

We also share our own experience with introducing toys into our relationship — including the surprisingly perfect moment Scott chose to bring it up.

Whether you’re brand new to toys or simply looking to expand your shared pleasure toolbox, this episode will help you explore with confidence, curiosity, and connection.

Why do some things turn you on instantly… but do nothing for your partner?

Why does one of you want slow, sensual connection while the other wants direct, intense, sexual energy?

You’re not mismatched — you’re just speaking different erotic languages.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we break down Jaiya’s 5 Erotic Blueprints — the Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter — and how understanding these “desire personalities” can completely transform your intimacy.

We talk about:

• Why knowing your blueprint is like having a map for pleasure
• How mismatched blueprints create misunderstandings (and unnecessary hurt)
• Why your partner’s turn-ons might look nothing like your own
• How to initiate in their blueprint, not yours
• How blueprints can shift with stress, kids, and life stages
• Ways to use blueprints to reconnect when intimacy feels off

You’ll hear personal examples from us, practical tips for identifying your own blueprint, and an easy challenge you can try together this week.

If you’ve ever felt confused by your partner’s desire, this episode will help you understand each other more deeply — and unlock a whole new level of connection.

Resources
Take the Assessment: https://theblueprintbreakthrough.com/

Raising kids changes everything — your time, your energy, your body, your identity… and yes, your sex life.

If passion feels harder, less frequent, or basically nonexistent after becoming parents, you’re not alone and nothing is wrong with you.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we dive deep into why desire shifts so dramatically after kids and what you can actually do to rebuild intimacy in a life filled with exhaustion, interruptions, and tiny humans who need you constantly.

We talk about:

• Why postpartum identity shifts make sexuality harder to access
• How sleep deprivation, mental load, and resentment quietly kill desire
• The stages of parenting and realistic expectations for each
• What to do when you feel touched-out, disconnected, or insecure in your body
• How to schedule intimacy (without killing the mood)
• Practical ways to rebalance labor and rebuild attraction
• How to bring back physical affection without pressure
• Why the path back to passion after kids requires a new model, not the old one

If you feel more like co-parents than lovers… if you miss the spark you used to have… if you want intimacy but don’t know how to access it again — this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and hopeful.

Passion isn’t gone. It just needs a new language — one that fits the life you’re living now.

And yes, you can absolutely find your way back to each other.

Mismatched desire is one of the most common (and misunderstood) challenges couples face.

One partner is in the mood… the other isn’t.

One wants connection… the other is overloaded.

And suddenly intimacy feels complicated, emotional, or even tense.

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we explore what’s really happening when you and your partner want sex at different times and why it has nothing to do with attraction or compatibility.

We talk about the science of spontaneous vs. responsive desire, how stress and timing shape libido, and why most couples naturally fall out of sync without doing anything “wrong.”

You’ll learn:

• Why mismatched desire is normal (and expected)
• How not to take “not tonight” personally
• How to create “bridges to desire” for the lower-desire partner
• Low-pressure ways to initiate affection or intimacy
• Simple rituals that reconnect you emotionally and physically
• What to say (and what not to say) when you’re on different pages

If you’ve ever felt rejected, pressured, confused, or just out of rhythm with your partner, this episode will help you understand each other with more compassion and connection and give you tools you can use tonight.

Every couple feels it — that magnetic spark that makes everything come alive. But what happens when the energy between you goes flat?

In this episode of Do You Feel That?, we explore masculine and feminine polarity — the energetic dance that fuels attraction, connection, and chemistry. We break down what these energies really mean (beyond gender), why balance is essential, and how to reignite that spark when life, stress, or routine dulls it.

Drawing from the work of David Deida and Esther Perel, we talk about:

• The masculine gift of presence — stillness, direction, and groundedness.
• The feminine gift of flow — movement, emotion, and aliveness.
• Why polarity fades in long-term relationships and how to rebuild it intentionally.
• Simple ways to shift the energy between you in everyday life — from tone and touch to who takes the lead.

If you’ve ever felt deeply in love but disconnected from desire, this episode will help you rediscover the charge that makes love feel alive again.