Breast cancer, mastectomy and breast reconstruction take an emotional toll. Licensed Clinical Social Worker Kelley Kitley joins Dr. Jason Rosenberg to talk about coping, support and intimacy after surgery.

In Part 1 of a two-part conversation on In the BEST of HANDS: The Plastic Surgery Podcast, Dr. Rosenberg and co-host Meredith Reis talk with Kelley Kitley, LCSW, host of The Kelley Kitley Podcast: America’s Social Worker Unfiltered and a mental health expert seen on NBC News, ABC News and CNN.

Kelley shares how to handle the overwhelm after a diagnosis, why it’s okay to pause before deciding, how to support someone with breast cancer and how couples can rebuild intimacy after a mastectomy. Dr. Rosenberg explains why he gives his number to patients’ partners and what a husband’s thank-you note taught him. In Part 2, Kelley returns to discuss facelifts, rhinoplasty and body contouring after GLP-1s.

Learn more about Kelley at kelleykitley.com, listen to The Kelley Kitley Podcast and find her autobiography, MY self: An Autobiography of Survival, Recovery & Empowerment.

Timestamps

00:00 – Intro

02:15 – Why great surgeons are part psychologist

04:15 – Fresh off a breast cancer diagnosis

05:15 – Don’t feel rushed to decide

06:15 – Fight, flight or freeze

07:45 – Feeling alone and breast cancer support groups

08:45 – Information overload and analysis paralysis

09:30 – The five-minute “worst case” writing exercise

12:00 – Helped, hugged or heard?

12:15 – Supporting the partner: “You’re my patient, too”

14:15 – Where doctors and loved ones miss the mark

15:30 – Grief and gratitude after mastectomy

17:00 – Handling insensitive comments

18:15 – Breast reconstruction in a cosmetic surgeon’s office

20:30 – What to say to a friend with breast cancer

21:15 – Why many women delay or skip breast reconstruction

22:45 – Giving yourself permission to be cared for

24:15 – Recovery and playing the long game

26:00 – Intimacy after breast reconstruction

28:15 – A husband’s thank-you card

29:00 – Kelley’s final advice

In this episode, we cover:

Facing a Breast Cancer Diagnosis

Why so many women feel overwhelmed and frozen after a diagnosis

Grounding techniques and writing questions down before appointments

A five-minute exercise for writing out your fears

How to Support Someone With Breast Cancer

Breast cancer support groups, and options for women who’d rather keep things private

Why partners are patients too

Sometimes people need to be heard, not fixed

What to say (and not say) to a friend going through breast cancer

Emotional Recovery After Mastectomy & Reconstruction

Grief and gratitude: two feelings can be true at once

DIEP flap natural tissue reconstruction

Why about two-thirds of women don’t undergo breast reconstruction

Reconstruction as a process: several operations over six months to a year

Intimacy After Mastectomy

Learning your partner’s body in a new way

Sensate focus, couples therapy and sex therapy

How intimacy goes far beyond the bedroom

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Keywords: breast cancer, mastectomy, breast reconstruction, emotional recovery after mastectomy, how to support someone with breast cancer, breast cancer mental health, intimacy after mastectomy, breast cancer support groups, DIEP flap, Kelley Kitley, America’s Social Worker

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