“Control driven by fear doesn’t create safety. It creates vigilance.”

• The subtle ways control hides inside responsibility and maturity

• Why most women do not experience control as force, but as protection

• How subconscious control patterns keep the nervous system tense

• The generational imprint of women holding everything together

• The difference between true safety and low level vigilance

• Why doing all the right fertility things can still feel exhausting

• Noticing control without fixing, changing, or judging

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

This episode is a quiet one. Not flashy. Not dramatic. And honestly, the most important place to start. We are talking about control, not the loud obvious kind, but the kind that feels responsible. Helpful. Protective. The kind most women were praised for growing up.

I share how control once felt like safety in my own body and how that same pattern followed me into fertility and motherhood. Not because I was rigid or difficult, but because my nervous system thought staying on top of everything was the only way to relax later. Spoiler alert. Later never comes.

This week is not about fixing control or doing something differently. It is about noticing the moment your body tightens and asking one simple question. Is this safety or is this tension? That awareness alone is more powerful than any checklist. And next week, we go deeper into how this shows up in the most mundane moments of your day.

“Control doesn’t feel aggressive. It feels responsible. Mature. Protective.”

01:07 When control feels like safety instead of stress

02:34 Generational patterns and the emotional labor women carry

04:49 Why control actually makes motherhood and fertility heavier

06:13 The nervous system difference between safety and vigilance

07:42 Becoming the ultimate observer in everyday moments

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-2-fertility-burnout-nobody-talks-about-the-cost-of-quiet-control

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“You do not need to control your way into safety. You need to notice where control is running the show.”

Topics Discussed

• Fertility burnout and why over-efforting feels safe but keeps you stuck

• IVF trauma and how control becomes a subconscious coping strategy

• The illusion of control as protection for the nervous system

• Subconscious healing through awareness, not fixing

• Why frequency behind action matters more than the action itself

• Gut health, mindset, emotional healing, and nervous system regulation as lived experiences

• Slowing down without losing momentum or responsibility

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be.

This episode kicks off a gentle but powerful series that is not about learning more or doing more. It is about noticing what is already happening beneath the surface. Especially the places where control has quietly become your safety net. If you are navigating fertility burnout, IVF trauma, or that constant feeling of having to stay on top of everything just to survive, this conversation is for you.

We talk about the mundane moments no one glamorizes. Your to do list. The way you plan your day. The subtle micromanaging that feels responsible but actually keeps your nervous system on edge. I am not here to tell you to stop controlling your life. I am here to help you see where control is driving, and where it might be costing you more than it gives.

This is not about judgment or immediate change. It is about radical honesty, awareness, and compassion. The kind that opens the door to real subconscious healing. By the end of this episode, you may realize that the slow, seemingly pointless noticing is exactly where the deepest shifts in fertility, mindset, emotional healing, and frequency actually begin. And next week, we go even deeper into why control feels safe, and how to gently unwind it.

“If slowing down feels pointless, that is usually where the real work is.”

Timestamps

01:05: Week one begins, why the slow, mundane work is where true shifts happen

02:03: The fertility to do list and how control hides in plain sight

02:57: Control, obligation, and asking whether it actually lights you up

03:54: Frequency behind action, inspired movement versus pushing from fear

05:47: Why the old fast ways did not work, and the invitation to slow down with grace

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-one-infertility-ivf-burnout-control-the-slow-shifts-that-actually-change-everything

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“Knowledge didn’t fail you. It just can’t carry you where you’re going next.”

Topics Discussed

• Fertility burnout after years of doing everything right • IVF trauma and how it lingers beyond the procedure • Why knowledge alone stops creating change • Subconscious blocks that show up as overdoing and overwhelm • The role of frequency in emotional healing and integration • Letting go of fixing, chasing, and constant optimizing • Becoming the observer instead of the manager of your healing

“Your body isn’t asking for more effort. It’s asking for coherence.”

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be.

This is not a New Year pep talk. This is not a fresh start fantasy. This is a pause.

There comes a moment in the fertility journey when learning more stops helping. When gut health protocols, mindset work, emotional healing, even subconscious healing start stacking up instead of settling in. When fertility burnout isn’t loud panic anymore, but quiet exhaustion. The kind where you know what to do, yet nothing feels integrated.

This episode is an honest conversation about that moment. The one where information is no longer the issue. Patterns are. Frequency is. The way you relate to your body, your story, your timeline, your expectations. The part where IVF trauma, loss, and pressure quietly shape how safe it feels to slow down.

I share why I am shifting this podcast into something simpler, slower, and more uncomfortable in the best way. Short episodes. Less teaching. More space. Invitations to notice how you move, react, strive, and hold control. Not so you fix yourself, but so you stop abandoning yourself in the name of doing it right.

If you have done everything and still feel stuck, this episode will meet you there. No rescue. No urgency. Just a truth that might feel sharp at first, then oddly relieving.

“Liberation begins when you stop trying to prove you’re doing enough.”

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome and grounding into the conversation 01:30 Why New Year energy never resonated for me 03:20 When knowledge became accessible, but embodiment didn’t follow 05:50 The patterns I see women repeating even with all the tools 07:15 Why this podcast is shifting into shorter, quieter episodes 09:30 Fertility burnout, IVF trauma, and the illusion of control 11:40 What real pattern interruption actually asks of you

“Nothing new needs to be added. Something old needs to be released.”

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/the-end-of-infertility-overdoing-a-new-frequency-for-fertility-healing

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.