As I sit in my dad's house, all the stuff of the previous generations surrounds me. The beautiful, gold-edged china, the leaded crystal, and the thousands of other things that make up the history of my family. But without the memories and stories attached to these things, they are just "stuff". I am a bit fired up today about my advice to use the good sh*t. Why do we keep the good stuff locked away in cupboards and drawers? Why don't we use it right now? Starting today, my dog is drinking water from a crystal bowl and I am eating meals on gold-edged china! Why am I saving it? For some occasion that may never happen? NO! Let's use the good stuff now. We are worth it and the generations who came before us would say, "It's just stuff... so enjoy it!"

Merry Christmas to you, my wonderful listeners! I wanted to hop on here today and talk about outdoor illumination. How I LOVE Christmas lights! They make me smile while reminding me to slow down and enjoy the little things. I hope you have a blessed holiday season and are able to smile at the memories as well as make new ones!

Ever been around someone who gives you a bad feeling? You're not sure why, but something just feels off. I am here to tell you today to listen to that voice. Don't ignore it. That intuition (or creep vibe) is there for a reason and could serve in keeping you safer than you would be if you ignore it. When my kids were young, I told them if they ever had a bad feeling about someone, they could let me know and they'd never have to be around that person again. Why don't we give ourselves that same permission? Let's treat ourselves with the same respect we would give our children. If you get the vibe, you don't have to be around that person ever again! And your peace of mind will thank you!

Let me reiterate that I am NOT an attorney. Nor am I a legal expert. But I recently had a conversation with a family member about what happens to your assets when you die without a will. Many people think, as I used to, that your assets pass to the state where you live. That isn't really the case unless a person has assets and no heirs can be found. It is rare, however, that someone dies with assets and heirs don't come forward. ;)

This episode is my personal opinion on why it's a good idea to do estate planning. I think it is a gift to your loved ones. Losing a loved one is painful and the grief process can be difficult. Taking care of some of the details for those grieving can make it a little easier.

I was listening to a podcast (linked below) on decluttering the other day. There was a gal saying, "Take a hard look at things you're holding on to and ask yourself why." It made me think of all the stuff in the houses of my dad and my stepmom that has been left for me to deal with. In my dad's case, he was a collector. So, his house is full of really "good collectible stuff". In my stepmom's case, she has a shopping/buying addiction that has a deeper psychological reason. The gal on the podcast said she asked herself, "If I die tomorrow, what will happen to all this stuff?" I think it is important to take a look at our stuff. Many of us, me included, have too much of it. Why are we hanging on to it? If it is for our own enjoyment, great! But if we are hanging on to it for someone else to have some day, we likely need to give it another look.

Home - Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean

I have talked with you about the progressive decline of my dad over the past few years and now I get to add one more to the list. My stepmom has now been diagnosed with dementia. Guess who her power of attorney is... me! Being a power of attorney is a tough job in many ways. You often deal with people who are angry with you and blame you for losing their independence and the freedoms they have come to enjoy. And oftentimes they are a parent or other family member who you deeply love. In my current situation, my stepmom has been deemed by the doctors to be incapable of making decisions for herself, medical or otherwise. Therefore, it will be up to me to find a place for her to live, figure out how to pay for that place, and take on her finances along with facilitating the sale of her house. I am thankful that I am capable and, at the same time, would resign the position if someone else raised their hand. Thank you for being here with me on this journey!

I'm back! Since my last recording, there has been a whole lot of change in my life. My dad is still in memory care, and I am visiting him almost every day. I recently moved into his house and have begun the process of cleaning out 54 years' worth of STUFF! It has been a lot, my friends. But what I have realized in this process is how little all the stuff my dad collected over the years means to him now. It is just stuff. Since he has dementia, he doesn't even really remember any of it. It gives me perspective that what is precious to us at one point can become meaningless to us at another point. And it isn't as precious to those who inherit the task of going through all of it. I am having to remind myself to take things one day at a time and that everything doesn't have to be done right now. (Although I would love it if it was!)

Pro tip - if you are going through someone else's stuff or your own after a life change, I recommend listening to a clutter podcast. They are very motivating! I have linked to one of my faves below!

www.clutterbug.com

I recently listened to Mel Robbin's book, "Let Them". I will admit, I was a bit skeptical at first and I will also admit I am a touch jealous of Mel and how well she has done her podcast and how successful she has been. A little jealousy can be good, and in this case, is incentive to be better and work harder. So, I listened to the book. What I got out of it was something that I have believed for a long time. It is the idea that you can only control your own actions and thoughts. You can't ever control anyone else. It is a good reminder for those of us who already adhere to the, "To each their own" idea. And it is a good lesson for those who hadn't considered it. Sometimes you just gotta give a person or situation an imaginary shrug and say, "To each their own!"