Guz & Kiell Will Not Survive

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Guz & Kiell Will Not Survive

Written by: Guz Khan, Kiell Smith-Bynoe
Narrated by: Guz Khan, Kiell Smith-Bynoe
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Two Comedians.

Six deadly scenarios.

Zero chance of survival.

Can comedians Guz Khan and Kiell Smith-Bynoe survive six thrilling choose-your-own-adventure survival scenarios? The clue’s in the title…

Survival novices Guz and Kiell are being thrown in to a game that sees them reckoning with deadly environments where almost everything they encounter is trying to kill them.

Join them in the studio to discover if these self-proclaimed semi-competent men make the right choices to survive a litany of dangers, including vomiting vultures, volcanic eruptions, shipwrecks, reindeer cyclones, sperm whale poonados and crotch rot.

With survival expert Megan Hine doing her best to keep them alive, can Guz and Kiell overcome some of the world’s deadliest environments and reach safety in one piece?

Well… this is: Guz and Kiell Will Not Survive.Warning: Contains strong language, adult themes, and a multitude of idiotic survival decisions that should absolutely never be followed. Ever.

©Audible Ltd. 2026 (P)Audible Ltd. 2026 Literature & Fiction Satire
Episodes
  • Ep 1: GUZ AND KIELL WILL NOT SURVIVE… LAPLAND

    Ep 1: GUZ AND KIELL WILL NOT SURVIVE… LAPLAND
    Aug 13 2026
    Armed with bin bags, Custard Creams and an analogue watch, Guz and Kiell must survive the frozen wilds of Lapland. With survival expert Megan Hine explaining hypothermia-proofing, the benefits of sleeping in a snow grave, and the truth behind that bear rhyme, can the boys escape before a deadly snowstorm buries them for good?
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    44 mins
    Free with 30-day trial
  • Ep 2: GUZ AND KIELL WILL NOT SURVIVE… THE LOUISIANAN SWAMPLANDS

    Ep 2: GUZ AND KIELL WILL NOT SURVIVE… THE LOUISIANAN SWAMPLANDS

     An Audible Original
    Aug 13 2026
    Guz and Kiell find themselves shin-deep in the disease-laden Louisiana swamplands, with 20 miles of unforgiving swamp between them and salvation. But can they protect various body parts from infection whilst battling swamp gas, gators, ticks, and a family of wild boar that sends Guz into an existential crisis?
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    44 mins
    Free with 30-day trial
  • Ep 3: GUZ AND KIELL WILL NOT SURVIVE… BOTSWANA

    Ep 3: GUZ AND KIELL WILL NOT SURVIVE… BOTSWANA
    Aug 13 2026
    Deadly hippos, killer bees, and camp sleeping etiquette take centre stage as Guz and Kiell battle to survive Botswana’s Okavango Delta. Armed with little more than a roll of foil and some dangerously misplaced confidence, the boys make startling discoveries about bananas, dolphin love, and the startling origins of anthrax.
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    42 mins
    Free with 30-day trial
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