"You are God's beloved son. In you He is well-pleased!" This is a powerful truth for outgrowing porn. But while that identity sounds beautiful, it often leaves us asking: What do I actually do with that? What does it look like to live like a beloved son in everyday life?

This episode breaks down 14 practical, redemptive ways to step out of a performance-driven "slave" mindset and into the freedom of true sonship. If you're ready to heal the boy to free the man, this episode is your roadmap:

1. PLAY
2. REST
3. RISK
4. ASK
5. SHARE
6. FEEL
7. LOVE
8. HUG
9. GIVE
10. RECEIVE
11. PRAY
12. TRUST
13. WAIT
14. BE

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them
• Appropriate Touch Between Men
• The Image Of God In You

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

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What is your heart hungry for? How can you satisfy that hunger in a healthy way? Shawn Bonneteau unpacks how our thoughts and actions flow from the heart, a 5-second tool that can interrupt unwanted behavior, and how Christ transforms us without shame.

Shawn Bonneteau is a Christian sexual recovery coach who has spent 14 years inside addiction and 8 years guiding men out of it for a total of over 3,000 sessions. Shawn is the founder of Secret Habit, where he guides Christian men to break free from pornography and destructive sexual habits so they can live with integrity, confidence and real freedom. Learn more at secrethabit.ca

Start your clarity quiz:

secrethabit.com/quiz

Book a call with Shawn:

secrethabit.com/call

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Instead of trying harder, what would it look like to try softer? Author and counselor Aundi Kolber guides us into compassionate attention so that we can reconnect with our bodies, heal from trauma, and outgrow porn. You'll also hear how God relates to us in the middle of our mess with in-process miracles along the way.

Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor (MA, LPC) and bestselling author of the critically acclaimed "Try Softer" as well as "Strong like Water." She has received additional training in her specialization of trauma-and body-centered therapies and is passionate about the integration of faith and psychology. As a survivor of trauma, Aundi brings hard-won knowledge about the work of change, the power of redemption, and the beauty of experiencing God with us in our pain. Learn more at aundikolber.com

Buy Aundi's books:

• Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode—and into a Life of Connection and Joy
• Strong like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things—and Experience True Flourishing
• Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Hear a vulnerable, powerful breakup letter written to pornography.

If this resonates with you, write your own “dear porn” breakup letter and share it in the Husband Material Community, which you can join at husbandmaterial.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Discover the differences between "Egypt Sexuality" and "Promised Land Sexuality" based on insights from Deuteronomy 11:10-12. You'll be challenged to trust God with your life instead of trying to control your life.

This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, April 26, 2026 at the Husband Material Spring Retreat in Georgia. See upcoming retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreat

Previous sermons from HM Retreats:

• You Are Not Too Much (Mark 6:30-56)
• Excluded & Emasculated (Acts 8:26-40)
• David's Sexual Story (2 Samuel 11-12)
• The Beauty Of Brotherhood (Psalm 133)
• How Jesus Reverses The Curse (John 21)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Have you ever felt curious or confused about IFS (Internal Family Systems) and how it can help you outgrow porn? Patrick Cagle offers the perfect introduction: the 3 types of parts within you, the 9 Cs of your authentic self, and the highly practical 6 Fs to connect with a part of you that feels activated, triggered, or sexually tempted.

Patrick Cagle is an IFS Level 2–trained therapist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) candidate, and a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). Based in Alabama, he serves as an associate-level counselor devoted to helping individuals find freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors and supporting partners healing from betrayal trauma.

With compassion, clarity, and a deep respect for each client’s inner world, Patrick integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS) to uncover and heal the underlying wounds that drive addiction. His approach helps clients move beyond shame, restore connection with their authentic self, and experience lasting recovery and transformation.

Connect with Patrick at (334) 602-4112.

Check out Patrick's Psychology Today Profile here.

Join Patrick's drop-in discussion group: "Men's Internal Family Systems & Sexual Integrity" on Tuesdays at 10:00 AM Pacific Time here.

Mentioned in this episode:

• The 9 C's of IFS (credit to Cece Sykes)
• The 6 F's of IFS by Dr. Richard Schwartz
• The SIBAM Model by Dr. Peter Levine

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Are you tired of fighting a battle against yourself? Jenna Riemersma offers a remarkably powerful path to healing through the "Move Toward" approach, her simplified version of IFS (Internal Family Systems). You'll learn a practical three-step tool to transform unwanted behavior and outgrow porn through curiosity and compassion.

Jenna Riemersma, LPC, is a leading authority in integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) and betrayal trauma treatment. As a Certified IFS Therapist, IFS Clinical Consultant, IITAP teaching faculty, and CSAT Supervisor, she brings over a decade of specialized expertise to this critical therapeutic intersection. Jenna is also the developer of the innovative "Move Toward" IFS shorthand tool—a practical resource that helps therapists and clients efficiently access IFS parts work. Learn more at movetoward.com

Buy Jenna's new book:

• Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You

Jenna is also the author of:

• Altogether You: Experiencing Personal and Spiritual Transformation with Internal Family Systems Therapy
• IFS Integration: A Comprehensive Guide to Applying Internal Family Systems Across Modalities, Populations, and Clinical Presentations

More resources by Jenna:

• Free Guided Meditations
• Free Guided Videos
• Free PDF Worksheets
• Online Video Curriculum

Connect with Jenna at jennariemersma.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Learn the real reason why freedom from porn feels impossible with insights from one of my favorite movies, The Shawshank Redemption.

“Your brain doesn’t want new things. It wants old things that it already knows how to survive.” —Chase Hughes

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!