I wasn’t planning on recording today, but it’s snowing, my house is quiet, and after changing a poopy pull-up at midnight, I had a very clear thought: the things I thought would matter as a parent do not matter. At all. The things I actually care about now are way simpler… and way deeper.
First up: breakfast. I don’t force my kid to eat but when he skips breakfast I notice a huge difference in his day. Emotional regulation starts with blood sugar. If he’s hangry, we’re all going down with the ship.
Second: responsibility over obedience. I say this phrase regularly and with love: “Mommy isn’t your maid.” It’s not harsh, it’s the truth.
Third: emotional regulation. This one requires me to regulate my own emotions, which is honestly the hardest part of parenting. We name feelings, we take space, we repair when we inevitably lose our shit. And yes, our kid will absolutely talk to a therapist someday about something we did. That’s fine. I fully plan to pay for it.
Fourth: consent. For himself and for other people. Privacy, safety, boundaries—this stuff matters. We’re also picky about the adults we let into his world. Men, women… everyone.
And the last one: self-care. I want my kid to see that moms are whole humans, not walking sacrifice machines. So sometimes I tell him, “I’m going to move my body,” even if he’s clinging to my leg like a four-year-old with zero patience. Boundaries are hard, but he needs to see me hold them so he learns to hold his own.
These five things are shaping both of us. Parenting is a mirror, and the mirror says, “Hey, you need to work on that.” So every lesson I’m teaching him, I’m also reteaching myself.
Tell me yours—what are the five things you actually care about as a parent? And stay tuned, because the next episode is “Five Things I Don’t Give a Shit About as a Mom,” and I promise, they might surprise you.
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