Do you ever wake up feeling anxious for absolutely no reason?

I had one of those mornings this week.

Instead of trying to push the feeling away, I started asking myself a different question...

What if anxiety isn't the enemy? What if it's actually trying to tell us something?

In this episode I talk about:

• Why I've stopped trying to fight anxiety and started listening to it.
• The questions I ask myself when anxiety shows up.
• A simple breathing exercise that helps me get back into my body.
• Automatic writing and why it's become one of my favourite ways to untangle what's really going on.

I don't believe anxiety is always something to get rid of.

Sometimes it's just trying to point us towards the thing we've been avoiding.

Enjoy.

Tommy

This week I share a lesson that smacked me right in the face during my yoga practice.

For nearly 20 years I've avoided one pose. Every time it came up I'd find a way around it because it felt awkward, uncomfortable and honestly... pretty shit about how much I couldn't do it.

Six months ago I made a deal with myself.

Just do one.

One wheel pose every class.

Nothing heroic. Just one.

Fast forward to today, and for the first time I actually enjoyed it. It got me thinking...

How many other things in life have I avoided simply because I wasn't good at them yet?

In this episode I chat about:

• Why avoidance quietly runs so much of our lives.
• The awkward stage that comes before getting good at anything.
• Podcasting, coaching, conflict and the things I've wanted to run away from.
• A simple exercise you can do today to work out what you're avoiding the most.

Maybe the thing you've been putting off isn't the problem.

Maybe you just haven't stayed with it long enough for your relationship with it to change.

Enjoy.

Would love to hear your feedback.

www.instagram.com/tommykende

www.tommykende.com

This week I'm joined by my best mate Steve.

We've known each other for 42 years.

We sat down in Bali with no real plan, hit record, and ended up talking about life, friendship, getting older and some of the things we were completely wrong about.

We chat about:

• Why money doesn't solve as many problems as we thought it would
• Relationships and the myth of "finding the right person"
• The strange realisation that turning 50 doesn't mean you've got life figured out
• Why the simple things seem to matter more than ever
• Chasing happiness versus experiencing it
• What happens when all the big firsts in life are behind you
• Friendship, purpose and what really matters

One thing that kept coming up throughout the conversation was this:

No matter how old you get, there doesn't seem to be a magical moment where everything is sorted.

Most of us are still figuring it out.

Just with a few more wrinkles and a few more stories.

A relaxed conversation between two mates who've spent more than four decades watching each other stumble, learn, grow and occasionally get things right.

Enjoy.

Most dudes are carrying way more than they let on. Is it because they're trying to be tough or macho? I don't think that's the case. I believe it's because they often don't know how to say what they're actually feeling. Or who to say it to.

In this episode I dive into some of the things I hear from men all the time, both in my own life and in conversations with clients and mates.

Things like:

• Feeling like you're not enough
• Not knowing what the fuck you're doing
• Carrying pressure quietly
• Avoiding conflict
• Feeling unappreciated
• Struggling to ask for help
• The pressure of being a good dad, partner and provider

I also share some personal experiences around relationships, conflict, purpose and why I think so many men end up carrying things alone.

Men feel deeply, but often don't know where to put it.

If you're a bloke, I reckon you'll see yourself somewhere in this conversation.

And if you're a woman, it might help you understand a little more about what's going on behind the scenes for the men in your life.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Instagram - @tommykende

email - tommy@tommykende.com

In this episode, Tommy dives into one of the biggest things that holds people back from going after what they really want:

The fear of what other people think.

Whether it's starting a business, posting on social media, launching a podcast, changing careers, parenting differently, or simply putting yourself out there, judgement is unavoidable.

Tommy shares his own experience of getting back into podcasting, coaching and creating content after becoming a dad, and the very real internal dialogue that comes with putting yourself back out there.

This episode explores:

• Why approval is a moving target
• The courage required to share your gifts with the world
• Social media, judgement and self-doubt
• Fatherhood and navigating other people's opinions
• Why you can never please everyone
• The difference between asking "What do people think of me?" and "Do I respect the way I'm showing up?"
• Turning fear into fuel for growth

If you've been sitting on an idea, holding back, or waiting for the perfect moment before putting yourself out there, this episode is for you.

Because at some point, you've got to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and start backing yourself.

In this episode, Tommy dives into the subtle ways we manipulate the world around us in order to feel safer, more accepted, more comfortable, or more in control.

From people pleasing and collusion, to trying to manage perception and avoid conflict, this episode explores the fine line between acting from truth… and acting from ego.

Tommy opens up vulnerably about his own relationship, the need for affection, and the realisation that even love and kindness can sometimes carry hidden expectations underneath them.

This conversation touches on:

• manipulation through discomfort avoidance
• people pleasing and emotional control
• ego disguised as goodness
• authenticity and why it feels risky
• collusion and managing perception
• staying in your own lane
• truth vs performance
• emotional regulation and self awareness
• why some people react negatively when you follow your purpose

A raw, honest and deeply human episode about what happens when we stop trying to control the outside world… and start paying attention to what’s actually driving us internally.

If you're interested in exploring coaching options with Tommy, you can hit him up on instagram at @tommykende, or send him an email at tommy@tommykende.com

Emotional regulation might be one of the most important life skills we never get taught.

In this episode, I talk about:

• how quickly the stories in our head can spiral us emotionally
• why thoughts create emotional states that shape our experience of life
• catching yourself before you disappear down the rabbit hole
• learning how to observe emotions instead of becoming consumed by them
• the connection between pressure, emotional reactions and self-awareness
• why the external world shouldn’t completely dictate your internal state
• practical tools I use to regulate myself when life feels loud

This conversation is really about learning how to slow down, become more aware, and create space between your emotions and your reactions.

Because not every thought deserves your belief.

And if you don’t learn how to regulate your emotions… your emotions will regulate you.

If this episode resonates and you feel like you need support navigating life, relationships, pressure or uncertainty, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram @tommykende.

Lots of love,

Tommy

Pressure changes people.

Financial pressure.
Relationship pressure.
Parenthood.
Trying to hold everything together while quietly feeling disconnected from yourself.

In this episode, I talk about:

• what happens when pressure keeps building under the surface
• the danger of ignoring the little signs your life keeps showing you
• victim mentality vs stepping into your power
• uncertainty and why growth rarely gives immediate feedback
• how pressure can change your moods, behaviour and relationships
• and why no one is coming to save you

I also share my own experience of reaching a point where something had to give… and the internal shift that came from finally lifting the rug and looking honestly at what was underneath.

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’ve been carrying pressure quietly for too long.

If any of this resonates and you want support navigating your own next steps, reach out to me on Instagram @tommykende or tommy@tommykende.com

Lots of love.

Tommy