Episodes

  • Episode 174: My 70/30 Rule: How I Decide When AI Is Worth It

    Episode 174: My 70/30 Rule: How I Decide When AI Is Worth It
    May 4 2026

    It started with a book club I never made.

    Last summer I designed it in excruciating detail — the reading schedule, the prompts, the whole vibe. I felt amazing doing it. And then I never launched it. In this episode I'm using that story as the entry point into something I've been quietly figuring out for a couple of years: my personal bar for when using generative AI is actually worth it.

    This isn't a pro-AI episode or an anti-AI episode. It's an honest account of how I went from delighted early adopter, to someone who noticed she was outsourcing her own discernment, to someone who has built what I'm calling a sovereignty muscle — a choosy threshold for when I open the tab and when I don't.

    I talk about the dopamine feedback loop that keeps us coming back to these tools even when the follow-through isn't there, the ethics reckoning I had as a reader and lover of human-made art, the environmental cost I started taking seriously, and why I eventually moved from ChatGPT to Claude.

    And then I get practical. The 70/30 rule — the tool brings the structure, you bring the discernment — and what that actually looks like whether you're a healthcare leader, a creative, or someone who just really wants to read more but can never seem to make it happen.

    No matter where you find yourself — quietly guilty about using AI, scared to start, or just exhausted by the noise — this episode is for you. You don't need the right opinion about AI. You need your own.

    Topics covered: generative AI, discernment, the outsourcing trap, the cheating feeling, environmental cost of AI queries, the Anthropic values pivot, the 70/30 rule, and the sovereignty muscle.

    Connect with Erin:

    • Instagram: @medium.lady
    • Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady
    • Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com
    • Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
    • Instagram: @mediumladyreads
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    47 mins
  • Episode 173 Is Guilt Driving the AI Gender Gap?

    Episode 173 Is Guilt Driving the AI Gender Gap?
    Apr 27 2026
    Medium Lady Talks — Episode 173 Is Guilt Driving the AI Gender Gap? Hi, I'm Erin and this is Medium Lady Talks — the podcast for millennial women who want to live more intentionally, read more books, and stop burning out in the middle of a life they actually love. What this episode is about If you've ever used an AI tool (or thought about using one) and felt weird about it afterward — not quite wrong, but not quite right — this episode is for you. We spend the whole episode trying to figure out what that feeling actually is. Because I don't think it's guilt. I think it's something more useful. And the difference matters. We look at what the research says about women and AI adoption, why the gender gap exists (the answer is not what most people assume), and then walk carefully through the emotions that get bundled together under "guilt" — and why naming them separately changes what you do with them. What you'll hear The gender gap in AI use is real and documented across 18 international studies — but it isn't being driven by ethics, technophobia, or lack of access. The biggest driver is self-reported knowledge. Women say they don't know enough, and that uncertainty holds them back. There's also a specific research finding that stopped me: women are significantly more likely than men to describe their own AI use as "cheating." We sit with that one for a while. There are six feelings that tend to get bundled into AI guilt, and they each have a different signal and a different right response: trepidation, cognitive dissonance, identity threat, environmental concern, social anxiety, and actual guilt. Most of them aren't guilt. And the one that might be deserves careful examination — not a spiral. On the environment: the concern is valid at the systemic level, and the accountability belongs with the companies building and scaling these systems — not with individual users. The pattern of loading collective moral responsibility onto individual women while the systems that created the problem go unexamined? We've seen that one before. And the concept I'm now completely obsessed with: fierce ambivalence — from researcher Mara Bolis. The ability to hold two truths at once: I can use these tools to empower myself AND demand better from the people building them. That's not confusion. That might be the most coherent position available right now. Resources mentioned Global Evidence on Gender Gaps and Generative AI — Otis, Delecourt, Cranney & Koning, Harvard Business School Working Paper No. 25-023The AI Gender Gap Paradox — Mara Bolis, Stanford Social Innovation Review. Where "fierce ambivalence" comes from. A five-minute read I highly recommend.We Did the Math on AI's Energy Footprint — MIT Technology Review. Individual queries vs. industry-level impact, clearly explained, this read is a little bit longer!Environmental Impacts of Artificial Intelligence — Wikipedia. Genuinely excellent. A good two-minute orientation to the full picture and lots of links to take you down a rabbit hole. In Episode 174 we'll get into the "Be Your Own Wife" concept — what a values-based relationship with AI actually looks like in practice. DM me on Instagram at @medium.lady your reactions and opinions will always be used in consideration of each following episde. Medium Lady Talks is created, hosted and produced by Erin Vandeven. New episodes drop weekly.
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    56 mins
  • Episode 172: Scared and Curious: What Even Is AI and Why I Can't Look Away

    Episode 172: Scared and Curious: What Even Is AI and Why I Can't Look Away
    Apr 20 2026
    This is the one Erin has been building toward for a while. Episode 172 kicks off a new series "AI for the Rest of Us" and it starts in the tension between fear and curiosity, between wanting to look away and knowing we can't. This is a messy, honest, first-person episode about what AI actually is, why the gender gap in AI adoption matters, and how a concept called the "pessimism aversion trap" might be the thing quietly keeping us stuck. No tech background required. No conclusions forced. Just a real conversation (always out loud and in process) from someone figuring it out alongside you. In This Episode Why Erin has been sitting on this episode for months and what finally pushed her to hit recordThe Reese Witherspoon moment: what her book club poll revealed about women and AI adoption (and why the backlash was valid but also beside the point)The gender gap in AI use: women are using AI at a rate approximately 25% lower than men, and the jobs most likely to be automated are disproportionately held by womenKaren Hao's "What is AI?" flowchart — a tool for making AI legible before you decide how you feel about it. Spoiler: it is not just ChatGPT.Mustafa Suleyman's "pessimism aversion trap" from The Coming Wave, the idea that our fear of dark futures can cause us to look the other way, and why that avoidance might be more dangerous than the thing itselfHow the trap works in both directions: tech optimists use it to wave away risk; everyday people (and moms especially) use it as a protection mechanism to just... keep movingWhy sovereignty is Erin's word for 2026, and what that has to do with AIA trust framework from creator Upasna Gautam: trust = transparency / self-interest — and why Erin is committed to transparency about how she uses AI as a podcaster, leader and mom.What Erin is actually using AI for when producing this podcast. Referenced in This Episode Reese Witherspoon — viral Instagram Reel (April 2026) on women and AI adoptionKaren Hao — investigative journalist, author of Empire of AI: Dreams and Nightmares in Sam Altman's OpenAI (Penguin Press, 2025); creator of the 2018 "What is AI?" flowchart visualizationMustafa Suleyman — co-founder of DeepMind, CEO of Microsoft AI, author of The Coming Wave: AI, Power, and Our Future (2023)Upasna Gautam — technology and critical thinking creator on Instagram (@uposnagautam); shared Mark Cuban's trust definition: transparency divided by self-interestEpisode 171 — Erin's vulnerable personal disclosure episode that set the tone for this one Connect with Erin: Instagram: @medium.ladyPatreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to SpotifyInstagram: @mediumladyreads
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    48 mins
  • Episode 171: I Have No Idea What I'm Doing But I'm Here Anyway

    Episode 171: I Have No Idea What I'm Doing But I'm Here Anyway
    Apr 13 2026

    After three weeks away, Erin is back....but not because she has it figured out, but because showing up anyway is the whole point.

    This episode is an honest check-in: on an OCD flare that was the most significant in years, on the creative paralysis that followed, and on what finally helped her find her way back. She traces the silence back to the AI series she announced in episode 169, which quickly began to feel like spacewalking without a tether, and the stakes felt high, the subject felt vast, and her nervous system did what nervous systems do.

    What pulled her through? The Artemis II moon mission and what its crew taught her about suiting up into genuine uncertainty. The musician Raye, whose new album she has had on repeat and whose literary, unafraid lyrics have been helping her see herself clearly at a low moment. And eventually, the decision to just start.

    She also makes good on her commitment to the AI series — confirming it is still coming, reframing what it actually is, and naming exactly what she is promising you.

    In this episode:

    • An honest update on an OCD flare and what creative paralysis actually feels like
    • What the Artemis II crew taught her about showing up without knowing what's on the other side
    • Raye's new album as music-as-self-care — and why your obsessions are data
    • A real commitment to the AI for the Rest of Us series this spring

    Episode Takeaway

    What have you been returning to this week — a song, a show, a person, an idea — that you keep coming back to without fully understanding why? Sit with that for a minute. What does it tell you about what you actually need right now?

    Connect with Erin

    • Instagram: @medium.lady
    • Website: www.mediumladycommunity.com
    • Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com
    • Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads."
    • Instagram: @mediumladyreads
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    32 mins
  • Episode 170: Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel - An Almost-Spring Check-in

    Episode 170: Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel - An Almost-Spring Check-in
    Mar 16 2026
    Erin drafted this episode during a false spring — bright light, warm temps, a few days without a winter jacket. Then she sat down to record on a Sunday and it was snowing. Again. Which is exactly why this episode needed to exist. This is a guided end-of-winter reflection for everyone who has been holding on through the hardest months of the year. It names the specific disorientation of almost-spring, validates the depletion that comes from a full winter of reserves being drawn down, and offers a gentle self check-in before we sprint toward a spring we may not quite be ready for yet. "The cruelest part of almost-spring is how much it asks of our patience right when we have nothing left to give." The episode's guiding question: What does it look like to finish the winter well? Not crawl across the finish line. Actually arrive at spring with your identity, your core values, and your sense of self intact. IN THIS EPISODE What We Cover Why almost-spring is its own kind of exhaustion — the gap between anticipation and realityThe 'lights on before you're ready to get up' feeling — and why burned-out women feel this as pressure, not reliefWinter fatigue as cumulative — how we've been drawing off reserves since NovemberWhy rushing the thaw — emotionally, physically, mentally — can undo the quiet work of winterThe grief of letting go of the slower season, even when it was hardA five-question guided self check-in (interactive — grab a journal)Building reserves for the final stretch without over-scheduling springA full care package: books, albums, a color, and three small practices THE SELF CHECK-IN Five Questions for the Thaw Erin walks through each question on mic — modeling the practice and answering for herself in real time. Grab a journal or your notes app and do this alongside her. Question 1 What did this winter actually ask of me? Not what you accomplished or managed. What did the season ask you to carry? What was the central question of your winter? Erin's answer: The winter asked her to carry her own point of view at the top of the priority list — not putting herself first exactly, but leading with her own thoughts and feelings rather than orienting around everyone else's. Her word of the year: sovereign. Question 2 Where am I still depleted — and have I been honest with myself about that? Erin uses the image of a mixing board — every dial at a solid medium, which actually tracks for where she is. Her depletion: staleness. Ready for something new. Scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to whimsy and joy. Key reframe: You don't have to stare directly into the sun of your vulnerability. You can look just northwest of it — at the things contributing to the drain — and that's enough. Question 3 What am I rushing toward — and is it something I actually want, or just relief from the dirty snowbank of March? March is a dirty snowbank. And sometimes we rush toward whatever offers escape from it — a summer dress in a shopping cart, a new creative direction, a reinvention. The almost-spring energy can manufacture urgency that isn't real. "The sense of urgency is manufactured. I can confront that limiting belief. Am I really out of time?" Erin's example: She felt the impulse to rush toward creating AI content after one listener expressed interest — then caught herself and let it cook instead. Question 4 What from this winter do I want to carry forward into spring? Winter strips us bare and contracts our field of vision — but it also teaches. The whimsy has to live with the struggle. That's actually where whimsy does its best work. Erin's answer: Carrying her own point of view forward. The ownership of the hard stuff alongside the spring strut and the dangly earrings and the daffodils. Question 5 What do I need to let go of before spring arrives? Some things served their purpose in the dark season. They don't have to come with you. Erin's answer: Comparison. Specifically — the way that deeply owning her own point of view this winter also opened the door to measuring herself against others. The comparison served a purpose. It helped her name the difference. She doesn't need to bring it into spring. BUILDING RESERVES How to Finish Winter Well The goal is not to arrive at spring perfectly rested, perfectly reflected, perfectly ready. That's just not available to most of us. The goal is to arrive as yourself — with enough in the barrel to meet what spring asks of you. Return to the micro-rituals from Episode 168 — don't abandon them just because the light is changingProtect your sleep after the time change — your body needs 36–48 hours minimum to readjustProtect slowness even as the energy around you speeds up — create a container for itResist the urge to over-schedule spring before winter is actually overRemember: the calendar filling up is not the same as being readyName one thing you are still protecting in this season ...
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    53 mins
  • Episode 169: Tiny Experiments for March - The Tally Project

    Episode 169: Tiny Experiments for March - The Tally Project
    Mar 2 2026

    In this high‑energy solo episode, Erin introduces a brand‑new self‑reflection framework she’s calling The Tally Project. Inspired by the book Tiny Experiments by Anne‑Laure Le Cunff (and the creators who inspire her), Erin shares how a simple tally system can create visible proof that you’re showing up for the life you want—without pressure, streaks, perfectionism, or rigid goals.

    She walks you through her four tallies for March: movement, reading, growth, and phone boundaries. Each one is intentionally designed to be binary, gentle, and achievable. This episode offers a transparent look at Erin’s emotional landscape at the tail end of winter, the desire for quiet momentum, and the need for small pockets of self‑trust to carry us into spring.

    If you’ve been feeling stuck, scattered, reactive, or pulled off‑center by the winter months, this episode will help you reset with kindness—and maybe even join Erin in your own March Tally.

    WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE • Why the concept of a “tally” can be more effective than traditional goals • How Erin builds identity‑aligned habits through measurable evidence • The inspiration behind the Monthly Tally from Tiny Experiments • What Erin is tracking in March and why each tally matters • Honest reflections on burnout, doom‑scrolling, winter emotions, and self‑trust • A gentle invitation to create your own March Tally (or observe and try later)

    ERIN’S MARCH TALLY Movement: Move intentionally for more than 24 minutes, 15 days this month Mind: Read nonfiction and capture one thought about it, 12 days Growth: Read two thought‑provoking pieces about AI Phone Boundaries: Stay off Instagram before 8 a.m. and after 10 p.m., 15 days

    CONNECT WITH ERIN

    • Instagram: @medium.lady
    • Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady
    • Email: vandeven.erin@gmail.com
    • Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
    • Instagram: @mediumladyreads

    If you join the March Tally, tag or message Erin—she’d love to cheer you on.
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    27 mins
  • Episode 168: The Micro Rituals Saving Me This Winter

    Episode 168: The Micro Rituals Saving Me This Winter
    Feb 23 2026

    How do you move through winter without numbing out, gritting your teeth, or waiting for spring to fix you?

    In this episode of Medium Lady Talks, Erin shares the small but powerful micro-rituals helping her stay present, intentional, and connected to herself during one of the heaviest seasons she’s had in years.

    This isn’t about productivity hacks. It’s not about aesthetic morning routines. And it’s definitely not about toxic positivity.

    It’s about participation.

    If winter often feels narrowing — emotionally, mentally, culturally — this episode explores how small, deliberate practices can widen your thinking, reduce decision fatigue, and help you reclaim your point of view in a season that tempts many of us toward passive consumption and burnout.

    In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

    • Why micro-rituals can be more powerful than big resolutions

    • How reducing decision fatigue supports mental health in winter

    • The difference between consuming inspiration and activating it

    • Why analog living isn’t aesthetic — it’s neurological

    • How music appreciation can retrain your attention span

    • The benefits of slow reading and commonplace journaling

    • What critical thinking actually is (and why it matters now more than ever)

    • How asking “What do I think?” can protect your identity in overwhelming seasons

    The Three Micro-Rituals Erin Shares: 1️⃣ Activating Inspiration Instead of Saving It

    Using simple outfit formulas (inspired by creator Laura Owens) to eliminate decision fatigue and translate digital inspiration into real-life embodiment. The power isn’t in watching someone else get dressed — it’s in getting dressed.

    2️⃣ Music Appreciation as Attention Training

    Moving beyond background noise to study instrumentation, arrangement, and emotion in music — and how building a “cinematic winter playlist” creates presence and pleasure without productivity. Inspired again by an amazing creator Owen Cutts !!

    3️⃣ Slow Reading + Journaling for Deeper Thinking

    Pairing fiction and nonfiction, tracking themes, and practicing commonplace journaling to metabolize ideas rather than speed-consume books.

    Why This Matters

    Winter often reveals our overload.

    When the world feels heavy and cultural panic is escalating, it becomes easier to outsource our thinking, scroll instead of reflect, and numb instead of participate.

    These micro-rituals are small daily acts of resistance:

    • Resistance to burnout

    • Resistance to passive living

    • Resistance to losing your point of view

    They are not dramatic. They are not monetizable. They are not optimized.

    But they are helping Erin feel like herself in one of the hardest winters she’s had in a long time.

    And maybe they can help you too.

    A Gentle Invitation

    If you’re feeling narrow, constricted, or numbed out this winter, ask yourself:

    • What do I think?

    • What do I want?

    • Where is my attention going?

    You don’t have to reinvent your life. You don’t have to survive on autopilot.

    Choose one small ritual that shifts you from passive to deliberate. From outsourcing your mind to inhabiting it.

    Winter doesn’t have to take everything from you.

    🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs a life raft this season.

    If this resonated, screenshot the episode and tag @medium.lady on Instagram so we can talk about it.

    You’re doing such a good job.

    Connect with Erin:

    • Instagram: @medium.lady
    • Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady
    • Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com
    • Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify
    • Instagram: @mediumladyreads

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    27 mins
  • Episode 167: Why Women Admit Their Burnout in the Winter

    Episode 167: Why Women Admit Their Burnout in the Winter
    Feb 17 2026

    Winter doesn’t create burnout. It reveals it.

    In this episode of Medium Lady Talks, Erin explores why so many women quietly admit their exhaustion during the cold months — not because winter breaks them, but because winter strips away the distractions that helped them outrun what they’ve been carrying all along.

    Drawing on personal reflection, cultural observation, and insights from All We Want Is Everything by Soraya Chemaly, this episode unpacks:

    • Why women are socialized to absorb emotional fallout and smooth discomfort

    • How invisible emotional labor accumulates quietly across seasons

    • Why reduced light, stimulation, and dopamine in winter make burnout undeniable

    • The seductive pull of despair and doomscrolling

    • Why “collapse” in January isn’t the same as rest

    • And how to redistribute your load instead of reinventing yourself

    This is not an episode about hustling your way out of exhaustion.

    It’s about recognizing when winter is revealing a structural mismatch between what you carry and what you are resourced for — and responding gently but honestly.

    If you’ve felt bone tired. Soul tired. Existentially tired.

    This episode will help you see your burnout not as weakness — but as information.

    What You’ll Hear in This Episode

    • Why winter reduces capacity and exposes overload

    • Emotional labor and the cultural conditioning of women

    • How smoothing and anticipating needs compounds exhaustion

    • The rise of “analog wellness” as nervous system relief

    • The 1% rule for sustainable adjustment

    • Practical ways to drop invisible tasks

    • Why spring doesn’t fix structural mismatch — redistribution does

    A Gentle Invitation

    Name what you’re carrying.

    Drop one invisible task.

    Replace one scroll with one analog act.

    Aim for 1% more steadiness.

    Winter is not attacking you. It may just be asking you to notice.

    If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s been quietly holding too much.

    And as always — you are not weak for feeling this. You are overloaded. And overload can be adjusted.

    Connect with Erin:

    • Instagram: @medium.lady
    • Email: mediumladytalks@gmail.com
    • Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads."
    • Instagram: @mediumladyreads
    • Website: www.mediumladycommunity.com
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    31 mins