Why does your ex continue creating conflict long after the relationship has ended? And why does it sometimes get worse when you finally move on?

Different relationships. Different people. Different circumstances. Yet the same accusations, manipulation, controlling behaviours, and relentless conflict.

In Episode 26 of Not The Narrative with Abi, I share a powerful realization that came from comparing experiences with other women: sometimes, what feels like a personal battle is actually part of a much larger pattern of narcissistic and controlling behaviour.

And when children and family court are involved, the consequences can be financially and emotionally devastating.

Family court can become the devil's playground. A place where narratives are twisted, accusations multiply, and the pursuit of resolution can leave you financially exhausted.

Drawing from my own experiences, I discuss why recognizing these patterns matters, how moving on with a new partner can intensify conflict, and why choosing the right legal representation and knowing which battles to fight can save you thousands of dollars.

Most importantly, we talk about faith, discernment, and remembering that God never promised we wouldn't walk through the valley. He promised He would walk with us.

You cannot force someone else to move on. But you do not have to remain standing still because they haven't.

🎙️ Not The Narrative with Abi

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Your storm is not your story.

#NotTheNarrativeWithAbi #FamilyCourtSurvivalGuide #NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl #HighConflictCoparenting #FaithOverFear

There is motherhood—and then there is motherhood when someone is waiting for you to fail.

In Episode 25 of the Family Court Survival Guide, Abi gets real about the impossible standard mothers can face in high-conflict family court: where an ordinary parenting decision can become an email, an allegation, or another piece of “evidence.”

And for Black mothers, there can be another layer—the pressure of navigating a system while carrying stereotypes about being “angry,” “aggressive,” “difficult,” or “controlling.”

This episode asks some uncomfortable questions:

Why are we examining a mother's strength more closely than the behaviour that required her to become this strong?

How can there always be money to fight about a child, but suddenly not enough money to provide for the child?

Are we financing our children—or financing our resentment?

And while the adults are litigating, documenting and fighting, what does the child actually want?

Often, it's much simpler: their school, friends, community, activities, routines—and the reassurance that although their family has changed, their entire world doesn't have to change with it.

The world may be looking for your imperfections.

Your child is looking for your arms.

🎙️ Not The Narrative with Abi
Family Court Survival Guide — Episode 25

If this episode resonates with you, follow and subscribe to Not The Narrative with Abi on Spotify and wherever you listen to podcasts. Share this episode with another mother navigating separation, divorce, co-parenting or family court. She may need to hear that she isn't alone.

Connect with Abi:
Instagram: @notthenarrativewithabi
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Facebook: @notthenarrativewithabi

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Your storm is part of your story—but it does not get to become your story.

When co-parenting becomes another way to control, provoke and maintain emotional access to you, how do you protect your peace—and your child?

In Episode 24 of the Family Court Survival Series, Abi shares how she stopped responding to every allegation, defending herself against every accusation and participating in circular email arguments that were never intended to reach a resolution.

Some conflicts are not really about the child. They are invitations back into chaos—and proof that the other parent can still affect your emotions.

Abi discusses recognizing that trap, shortening communication, involving your lawyer when necessary and accepting that you cannot force another person to develop empathy, accountability or emotional regulation. Instead, you can redirect your energy toward supporting your child, creating an emotionally safe home and modelling the kindness and respect you want your child to expect from others.

Choosing peace does not mean the other person was right. It means their behaviour no longer gets to control your life.

Through prayer, gospel music and trusting God with what she cannot change, Abi explains why you do not need the other parent’s cooperation—or permission—to protect your joy.

If this episode speaks to you, follow, subscribe and share it with another parent navigating family court or high-conflict co-parenting.

For one-on-one support, DM @notthenarrativewithabi on Instagram or TikTok.

Their behaviour is their responsibility. Your healing, peace and joy belong to you.