Mark is joined once more by Neuroshambles favourite Pete Wharmby as they take a deep dive into rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). They look at what RSD actually is, why it isn't an official diagnosis, and why it's most famously linked with ADHD but seems to show up across other neurodivergent people too.

Pete shares how RSD plays out for him, from avoiding his own Amazon reviews to the rumination that can write off a whole week, and why he suspects much of what gets called RSD is really a trauma response to a lifetime of corrective criticism. Mark brings tales from the trenches of his own neurochaotic setup to discuss how RSD could be showing up differently in his three kids.

Along the way they unpick perfectionism, people pleasing, the class clown and what we can do to help reduce the impact of RSD for our neurodivergent kids.

Chapter Timestamps (Estimated)

• 00:00 – Intro to episode 64
• 00:53 – Meet the guest: Pete Wharmby returns (and starting secondary school)
• 03:35 – Topic of the week: what is RSD, and why isn't it an official diagnosis?
• 08:42 – ADHD, autism or both?
• 11:19 – Is RSD its own thing, or a trauma response to being neurodivergent?
• 14:16 – "Everyone hates criticism": scepticism, a one-star review and Pete's Amazon pages
• 19:20 – Self-esteem, the scales of criticism and a lifetime of micro-corrections
• 25:32 – How RSD shows up in kids: school, meltdowns, rumination and monotropism
• 31:38 – Avoidance: Otto, table tennis and the football trial
• 42:35 – Perfectionism, people pleasing and the class clown
• 50:22 – Denial: India and the spilt water
• 57:46 – Bad losers: Jay, rage-quitting and the table tennis club
• 1:06:07 – How parents can respond: kid gloves, picking battles and specific feedback
• 1:12:54 – Praise that gets through the RSD shield
• 1:17:47 – It's not all rubbish
• 1:20:36 – Neurodiversity Champions
• 1:25:05 – Tiny Epic Wins
• 1:29:29 – What the Flip Moments
• 1:32:53 – Wrap-up

Links to stuff we mention in this episode

Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/06eJRnUX

Pete Wharmby’s website: https://petewharmby.com/

Emily Katy’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itsemilykaty/

Emily Katy Substack - https://itsemilykaty.substack.com/p/i-walked-300-miles-on-the-south-west

Spilling the Tea on Autism and ADHD, Michaela Silsby - https://www.instagram.com/spilling_the_tea_on_autism/

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) - https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/

The double empathy problem - https://www.autism.org.uk/learn/knowledge-hub/professional-practice/double-empathy

📣 CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES

📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com

✨ MORE FROM NEUROSHAMBLES

🌐 Website: https://www.neuroshambles.com

📬 Mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Neuroshambles

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

🎙️ CREDITS

🎶 Theme music by OctoSound on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/users/octosound-39205072/

To kick off season four of Neuroshambles, Mark is joined by returning guest Rebecca Huseyin, as they discuss their recent experiences of taking neurodivergent kids abroad. Turns out, neither trip was for the faint hearted, but they have both sufficiently recovered to be able to compare notes and look at the highs and lows of their respective adventures.

They dig into the challenges of holidaying with autistic, ADHD and PDA kids: choosing a destination when everyone needs to be on board, the nightmares of packing, surviving airports, flights and working out what your kids are able to manage when you actually get there. Mark and Rebecca swap honest autistic parenting advice on special assistance, sunflower lanyards, feeding kids when the food is unfamiliar and what happens when the end of the holiday goes disastrously wrong.

It’s not all bad though, Mark and Rebecca look at the positives, shout out some neurodiversity champions, share their tiny epic wins and round things off with some classic What the Flip moments from the holiday. It’s a candid, funny and relatable listen for any neurodivergent parenting podcast fan, and for anyone who has ever wondered whether a family trip is even possible.

CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)

00:00:00 Welcome to season four 00:01:40 Meet the Guest 00:05:17 The Topic of the Week: Taking Neurodivergent Kids Abroad 00:10:33 Choosing where to go 00:19:15 The nightmare of packing for neurodivergent kids 00:26:10 Navigating airports and the lifeline of special assistance 00:40:14 Sunflower lanyards and arriving abroad 00:44:41 Feeding the kids in a different country 00:54:22 Itineraries, control and planning with PDA 00:58:04 Choosing activities on holiday 01:03:30 Mark’s penultimate day shit show 01:16:59 Rebecca’s nightmare at 40,000 feet 01:28:58 The Positives 01:31:38 Neurodiversity Champions 01:34:02 Tiny Epic Wins 01:37:52 What the Flip Moments 01:40:42 Wrapping up

LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE

Neuroshambles YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@Neuroshambles

A Boy Less Ordinary (Rebecca’s blog) - https://aboylessordinary.com/

PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/

Lalandia - https://www.lalandia.dk/en/billund

Airport special assistance - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-autistic-traveller

Hidden Disabilities Sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/

Google Translate (camera translation feature) - https://translate.google.com/

📣 CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES

📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com

✨ MORE FROM NEUROSHAMBLES

🌐 Website: https://www.neuroshambles.com

📬 Mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Neuroshambles

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles

🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod

🎙️ CREDITS

🎶 Theme music by OctoSound on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/users/octosound-39205072/

The final episode of season 3 marks a first for Neuroshambles, as it’s the first ever live recording, performed in front of an audience. Mark is joined by returning guest Lisa Lloyd (@asd_with_a_g_and_t) for a raucous and laughter-filled discussion around what it's like to be a neurodivergent parent raising neurodivergent kids.

They examine a wide range of autistic, ADHD and PDA traits, and discuss how each of these can impact a neurodivergent parents’ experience of raising neurodivergent kids. They shine light onto sensory sensitivity, touch aversion, and the chaos that unplanned changes can cause in a home that runs on routine. They also talk candidly about masking, difficulty with social interactions with other parents, executive functioning, rejection sensitivity and the challenge of navigating your own overwhelm while supporting a child through meltdown.

There are plenty of positives too, as Mark and Lisa find the upside of autism parenting in shared understanding, a healthy disregard for authority, and the sense of injustice that fuels so many neurodivergent parents’ advocacy work. This warm, insightful and hilarious episode is a must listen for anyone navigating parenting through the lens of their own neurodivergency.

CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)

00:01:26 - Meet the guest: Lisa Lloyd

00:06:07 - Topic of the week: parenting neurodivergent kids as a neurodivergent parent

00:13:24 - A shared neurotype and a closer bond with the kids

00:15:48 - Sensory sensitivity and touch aversion

00:21:22 - Coping with changes of plan

00:27:13 - Masking, social struggles and finding your tribe

00:35:10 - Executive function and the never-ending admin

00:40:36 - Rejection sensitivity

00:47:13 - Navigating overwhelm and meltdowns together

00:58:39 - The Positives: the upsides of neurodivergent parenting

01:07:09 - Neurodiversity Champions

01:13:31 - Tiny Epic Wins

01:18:08 - What The Flip Moments

LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE

Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share

Unmasking Mum by Lisa Lloyd - https://amzn.eu/d/0gbnKiwm

Lisa Lloyd (ASD with a G&T) on the socials:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/asd_with_a_g_and_t/

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@asd.with.a.g.and.t

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ASDwithGandT

Includes Us Too - https://includesustoo.org.uk/

Spinning World of Autism (Laura Brown) - https://www.spinningworldofautism.com/

Speak Up for Autism petition - https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/764248

PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/

CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES

🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com

📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com

📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles

🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod

📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles

📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share

CREDITS

🎧 Sound recording by CRT Audiotech: https://www.instagram.com/crtaudiotech/

🎥 Video recording by Brown Bear Studios, Brighton: https://brownbearstudios.co.uk/

🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com