Pondoff’s Anonymous is on a one week break, but we didn’t want to leave you hanging…

So today we’re sharing an episode of our newer show, *Needed to Hear That*.

This one is a do not miss.

If you’ve ever connected with what we try to do here, honest conversations, recovery, mental health, and the stuff people usually don’t say out loud, this podcast is absolutely for you.

Subscribe to *Needed to Hear That* so you don’t miss the next one.

Who this episode is for:
Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol who still think they’re in control
People living double lives and calling it “functional”
Anyone carrying childhood trauma they’ve never dealt with
Families trying to love someone who keeps self-destructing
Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and told themselves it was ambition

This episode is not clean.
It’s not polished.
And it sure as hell isn’t motivational fluff.

This is a full, unfiltered autopsy of addiction.

Chris Pondoff and Zoe Mendenall sit down with Triple X — addict in recovery, speaker, author, and recovery advocate — and let him tell the whole story. Not the safe version. Not the highlight reel. The real one.

From growing up poor with emotional abuse and abandonment…
to chasing validation, power, money, and belonging…
to cocaine, meth, large-scale dealing, paranoia, prison, relapse, and finally rebuilding a life with structure and purpose.

This conversation tears apart the myth of the “functional addict” and exposes how addiction often starts as a solution — until it becomes the cage you can’t escape.

Triple X walks through it all:
When cocaine felt like confidence.
When money felt like control.
When the pager never stopped buzzing.
When the helicopter light hit the apartment.
When fun turned into fear.
When meth changed everything.
When prison became inevitable.
When recovery finally demanded structure, discipline, and boundaries.

There’s no glamor here.
Just ego, trauma, chaos, consequences — and the long road back.

You’ll hear about:
Childhood emotional abuse and abandonment
Trauma as the root, not the excuse
Why structure is non-negotiable in recovery
Cocaine, meth, and the escalation trap
The business side of addiction and how it grows
Living two lives and being exhausted by both
Arrest, plea deals, prison, and consequences
Relapse, shame, and getting back up
Building a new life through discipline and purpose

This episode doesn’t ask for sympathy.
It demands honesty.

If you’re listening and thinking, “I’m not that bad,”
you should probably keep listening.

GUEST:
Triple X — addict in recovery, speaker, author, and recovery advocate

BOOK:
Becoming the Change by Triple X

SOCIAL MEDIA:
TikTok: @be_the_change_recovery

BUSINESS:
Muther Mushroom
Website: https://muthermushroom.com/
(Launching in the coming weeks)

EPISODE TIMELINE:
00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships
05:54 Personal Stories and Connections
12:03 Childhood Trauma and Its Impact
22:03 Radical Inclusion in Recovery
28:57 The Illusion of Control: Functional Addiction
35:40 The Highs and Lows of Cocaine Use
43:15 The Business of Addiction: From Small to Large Scale
52:47 The Turning Point: From Fun to Fear
58:35 The Introduction to Methamphetamine
01:04:32 Family Dynamics and Addiction
01:22:30 Turning Point: From Struggle to Success
01:30:01 The Exhaustion of Dual Lives
01:39:59 The Inevitable Fall: Facing Consequences
01:50:00 The Arrest: A Life Unraveled
02:01:10 Plea Bargaining and Sentencing
02:12:23 Post-Prison Life and Business Ventures
02:19:23 Relapse and Recovery Journey
02:30:04 The Struggle with Addiction
02:35:44 The Turning Point: A Wake-Up Call
02:42:18 The Power of Positive Reinforcement
02:48:32 Building a New Life: Recovery and Business

Nothing about recovery is pretty.
But it’s real.
And it’s possible.

Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

Who this episode is for:
Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol.
Anyone rebuilding after wreckage—physical, emotional, legal.
People whose guts are wrecked and spirits even worse.
Ex-party people trying to become whole humans.
Fitness freaks, trauma healers, and closet sugar junkies.
Anyone who's ever made a mess of their life and needed to start over—again.

Sam Lander has lived a few lifetimes in one. This episode goes hard into her journey—from synchronized swimmer and college partier to LA chaos and courtrooms to spiritual awakening and gut healing. She’s seen it all and now helps others feel better in their bodies and lives through science-backed, soul-conscious wellness work.

Sam opens up about the rollercoaster of addiction, relapse, rehab, and recovery—not once, but over years of painful unraveling and healing. She talks about the pink cloud of early sobriety, how the body holds trauma, and what it really means to rebuild after everything falls apart.

And she doesn’t just talk it—she lives it. Today, she runs a full-scale health and wellness practice that dives deep into gut health, hormones, and the mind-body connection. She’ll teach you how to run labs on yourself, heal your insides, and maybe even laugh while shitting in a box. Real talk.

This is an episode about survival, reinvention, and finally figuring out what the hell makes you feel alive—and feel good.

Work with Sam and get your gut right at:
https://seefitpt.com

Follow her on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/seefitliving

TIME STAMPS:
00:00 Navigating Distractions and Reactions
05:08 Healthy Eating and Lifestyle Changes
11:57 Sober Living and Its Challenges
17:57 Personal Stories and Life Lessons
24:05 The Impact of Substance Use
30:12 Reflections on Recovery and Growth
36:02 Life in Los Angeles and Career Paths
42:01 Facing Consequences and Legal Issues
46:28 Navigating Personal Struggles
49:30 The Journey of Recovery
52:23 Finding Strength in Vulnerability
54:39 Life Lessons from Adversity
56:42 The Impact of Relationships on Recovery
01:00:50 Health and Wellness Insights
01:02:19 The Role of Nutrition in Recovery
01:06:33 Understanding Mental Health Challenges
01:10:32 The Importance of Support Systems
01:15:31 Reflections on Growth and Change

Sponsored by
🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com
🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com

Who this episode is for:

• Anyone who’s ever been owned by their addiction
• Parents trying to fix what their kids won’t talk about
• Business bros who grind all day and snort all night
• People trying to outrun their past (good luck)
• Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and called it “fun”
• The quietly curious — not in recovery (yet), but wondering what all the wreckage is really about

This week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, we go all the way in with Shawn Vinson — entrepreneur, ex-party monster, and the kind of guy who used to outdrink you, outwork you, and then take your girlfriend… all before brunch. But behind the suits and the lake house blowouts was a man chasing oblivion at full throttle.

Shawn gets real about growing up with a broken relationship blueprint, drowning in validation-seeking, and building a life so externally successful it nearly killed him. We’re talking ecstasy-fueled club nights, lines in the bathroom at family events, and trying to “dad” while his soul was on fire.

You’ll hear how a 12-step program flipped his rage into clarity, why prayer is now part of his survival kit, and how he’s channeling his chaos into coaching and entrepreneurship. There’s also a moment where his two-year-old daughter checks him on his cocaine eyes. If you’re not wrecked after that… you might already be.

We hit everything from early insecurity and high school boozing, to the brutal come-to-Jesus moments that make recovery stick. And yeah — we go deep on what it really means to rebuild a life from the ashes when no one’s clapping and nothing’s pretty.

Episode Breakdown (You Know the Drill):

• 00:00 – Shot of Coffee and a Side of Chaos
• 01:28 – Meet Shawn Vinson: The Wolf of Wall Street of the Ozarks
• 04:52 – Families: Can’t Live with ’Em, Can’t Stay Sober Without ’Em
• 12:08 – Addiction Doesn’t Just Wreck You — It Torches the Whole Family Tree
• 18:24 – When a Toddler Calls Out Your Cocaine Eyes
• 24:59 – 12-Step Rage Turned 12-Step Redemption
• 31:14 – Young, Dumb, and Looking for Love in All the Dysfunctional Places
• 31:42 – Medicated and Proud: The Daily Ritual That Keeps Us Sane
• 32:25 – High School: Insecurity, Hormones, and Bud Light
• 34:17 – Booze as a Social Superpower (Until It Isn’t)
• 37:22 – Discovering Ecstasy and the Gospel of Velvet Nightclub
• 40:08 – Cocaine, Clubs, and the Illusion of Invincibility
• 43:17 – New Friends, New Lows, and All the Free Drinks You Can Snort
• 46:20 – Corporate Hustle Meets Party Animal: Shawn Joins the Family Biz
• 51:31 – The Lake House Turns Into a Blown‑Out Frat Mansion
• 52:28 – Consequences: The House Always Wins
• 56:23 – Chasing the First High Straight Into Hell
• 59:31 – Chaos, Camaraderie, and the Power of Unlikely Brotherhood
• 01:01:47 – Why Vulnerability Feels Like Taking Your Skin Off
• 01:03:24 – Addiction Is an Equal Opportunity Destroyer
• 01:06:12 – Love, Lust, and Lines of Blow: Relationships in the Wreckage
• 01:10:14 – Sobriety Isn’t a Destination — It’s a Fucking Fight
• 01:19:30 – Owning the Fallout, One Step at a Time
• 01:26:13 – Looking Back to Move Forward (Even When It Hurts Like Hell)
• 01:29:36 – Early Recovery: Welcome to the Emotional Blender
• 01:32:19 – Community, Accountability, and Not Doing This Shit Alone
• 01:39:08 – Prayer, Presence, and Getting Intentional With Life
• 01:47:04 – From Snorting Lines to Coaching Lives: Shawn’s Next Chapter

Check out Shawn’s coaching work at: https://xpansion.com

Sponsored by:

• McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com/
• LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com/

Who this episode is for:

- Bar owners who can’t stop drinking their own profits

- Anyone who thinks boating and sobriety can’t mix

- Those living with the secret shame of family dysfunction

- People who think recovery means giving up fun

- Old-school St. Louisans with a soft spot for Trainwreck Saloon

- Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life

If you’ve ever built a life that looked good on paper but felt like a slow-motion disaster, this one’s for you.

Chris and Zoë sit down with St. Louis bar legend George Hansford—founder and owner of the iconic Trainwreck Saloon—and get real about 40+ years in the brutal bar business, alcoholism, grief, family secrets, and finally, finding hope at the end of a bottle. Literally.

George opens up about growing up in Brentwood, losing both parents by age 25, and how years of unprocessed pain fueled a decades-long drinking career—until a packed suitcase and one final bender forced him to change. This episode dives deep into how trauma festers into addiction—and how it can be healed through honesty, community, and one hell of a recovery journey that took George from the landing to Key West, where he now runs Courage Charters (http://www.couragecharters.com), a name inspired by the Serenity Prayer and powered by the gift of sobriety.

This dude’s not just running boats—he’s giving people hope on the water. And if that doesn’t make you cry or at least book a four-hour sandbar escape, check your pulse.

Also in this episode:

- Tales from Brentwood ice rink and run-ins with NHL legends

- A behind-the-scenes look at the wildest nights in STL bar history

- What it’s like to get sober when *you* are the bar owner

- Why interventions suck—but sometimes still work

- The life-changing power of “suitcase day” (aka when your wife finally packs your shit)

- What recovery looks like in Key West (spoiler: it’s not all Jimmy Buffett and sunburns)

Find George:

Facebook – Trainwreck Saloon: http://www.facebook.com/TrainwreckSaloon

Facebook – Courage Charters: http://www.facebook.com/couragecharters

🛥️ Book a charter: http://www.couragecharters.com

🍔 Grab a bison burger: http://www.trainwrecksaloon.com

What’s inside (yeah, we timestamped the chaos):

0:00 – Intro & sponsor shoutout

2:59 – The legacy of Trainwreck Saloon

5:58 – Brentwood roots, bison burgers, and Blues players at the bar

9:00 – Alcoholism in the family and trying to outrun it

11:59 – Running bars, losing control, and pretending everything’s fine

15:00 – Death, denial, and what it really means to heal

18:00 – Getting sober after 30+ years of burying pain

20:48 – From the bar scene to recovery scene: how shit changed

23:56 – Fireball, slot machines, and surviving the modern bar biz

26:58 – What’s next after recovery (hint: it involves a boat)

29:00 – Drinking culture then vs. now

31:40 – Health failing, marriage breaking—rock bottom creeps in

32:35 – Suitcase day: when your wife packs your shit and saves your life

35:01 – What real support in recovery looks like

39:04 – Why relapse happens, and how George finally got honest

41:20 – Building community when you're the former drunk at your own bar

45:17 – Losing a friend, finding purpose, and becoming a fucking captain

51:31 – Courage Charters is born: a new life on the water

56:44 – Sobriety is a gift. Period.

1:00:14 – Key West living: fishing, chillin’, and real peace

1:03:02 – Tourists vs. locals: the truth about “laid back”

1:05:58 – Recovery in paradise: meetings, connection, and keeping it simple

1:08:04 – Prayer, resentment, and doing the hard shit anyway

1:09:54 – Service work, growth, and giving back

1:10:58 – A surprise trip to Cuba

1:18:09 – Grief, love, and the long road to healing

1:19:55 – COVID, restaurants, and everything that changed

Sponsored by:

🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – http://www.mckelveyins.com

🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy – http://www.findyourlightsource.com

Who this episode is for:
- Anyone who’s ever woken up wondering how the hell they survived their 20s
- Former party girls turned spiritual gangsters
- People in recovery who still laugh at their darkest stories
- Anyone with complicated daddy issues
- Midwest transplants trying to make peace with the lack of decent tacos
- And most importantly: the still-struggling, the not-yet-sober, the ones who think it’s too late—this one’s for you

Addiction, Grief, and Grace with Rene Hudson

Rene Hudson didn’t just dip her toe in the chaos—she cannonballed straight into it. In this raw-as-hell episode, Chris, Zoe, and (MIA) Jeff sit down with Rene, a certified SoCal wild child turned St. Louis recovery badass, to unpack a story that ricochets from beach bonfires and punk shows to addiction, grief, and spiritual rebirth.

This isn’t some sanitized, “I found Jesus and now everything’s fine” kind of thing. Rene brings the real: pierced nipples as teenage rebellion, doing shots and hitting rock bottom, crashing on a boat with no working toilet, and falling into a love story that ends in heartbreak and hard lessons.

You'll hear about her fast spiral into addiction, her time as the life of the party in OC’s house scene, meeting her late partner Noah (who moved in after one night and never left), and how she went from vodka breakfasts to full-body baptisms at The Gathering.

The crew veers off course plenty—talking bridges, airport food etiquette, Sergeant Sausage the male stripper, and Nicholas Cage melting down at Newport bars—but it always comes back to the raw truth of recovery, trauma, and what it means to rebuild a life from scratch.

This one’s funny, heartbreaking, weird, and wildly human. Just like Rene.

00:00 Shoutout to the sponsors
02:59 Bridge drama and Midwest geography lessons
06:07 Boomers, Gen Z, and Y2K brain damage
08:57 Growing up in SoCal
11:58 St. Louis nice vs. California real
15:01 Bonfires, beach boys, and busted boat toilets
18:04 Nick Cage is a freak and we love that for him
18:55 Con Air, In-N-Out, and late-night cravings
21:19 Airport food shaming and clean eating confessions
24:41 Real ones go to church
27:56 First time telling the whole damn story
33:37 Turning the wreckage into something valuable
39:36 Military childhoods and doing it all yourself
42:01 Teenage love, heartbreak, and “marriage?!”
45:55 Nipples pierced out of spite
48:50 Party girl era unlocked
54:59 It starts out fun—until it’s not
01:00:02 Running from everything
01:02:59 A brain full of chaos
01:04:57 Moving to Florida, still running
01:06:55 Relationships, broken and breaking
01:10:01 Losing Noah
01:16:58 Grief, relapse, and trying to survive it
01:20:21 Family pain and recovery roadblocks
01:24:11 Putting the pieces back together
01:26:40 Finally giving recovery a real shot
01:27:25 Why extended care isn’t optional
01:31:40 Love, support, and the shit that saves us
01:33:20 The slippery slope of sobriety
01:39:25 Finding your people
01:42:11 Helping others = healing yourself
01:46:55 It gets better—but not by accident

Check out the recovery community that helped change Rene’s life:
👉 https://gatheringnow.org/recovery

Sponsored by
🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com/
💡 LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com/

This ain’t your tidy little self-help podcast. This is a molotov cocktail of truth, trauma, healing, heartbreak, and a whole lotta swearing. We’re cracking open some of the rawest, realest, and most *fuck-it-let’s-go-there* moments from Season Two. If you're not ready to get honest, bounce now.

First up, Megan Gehrs and Bree Badgley are back after five years. These two come in hot—talking relapses, divorces, cookie cakes, sober birthdays, and how to sit in self-pity without drowning in it. Megan shares what it’s like staying sober with a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the house. Bree opens up about blackouts, bruises, and holding her newborn niece in the hospital while still swollen from the night before. This ain’t Instagram recovery—it’s the messy, beautiful kind.

Then Christina Preston drops a fucking hammer: kidnapped, trafficked, and held in a hotel room with a pistol on the console. She survived it. Barely. And now she’s helping women claw their way back from the same hell she escaped. This is not a movie. This is real. And it happens down the damn street.

Kurt Garner swings through next—radio host, tequila junkie turned sober globetrotter. From Mexican strip clubs with angry bouncers to solo Valentine’s Day JT concerts in Chicago, he proves life doesn’t end when the bottle does. His turning point? A 10 a.m. tequila binge after a failed date that led to pouring out the bottle and walking toward something better.

Then we go deep with Sean Weiss—yeah, *that* Sean Weiss. Goldberg from *The Mighty Ducks*. You’ve seen the mugshots. But this dude has lived through shit most people wouldn’t survive. $20K gone in three months. Dope. Shoplifting. Using a needle he *knew* was HIV-positive because detox hurt more than death. This conversation isn’t for the faint of heart—but it’s for the ones still out there thinking there’s no way back.

And finally, Rafe Williams takes the mic. Stand-up comic, radio guy, and full-time truth-teller. He cracks jokes about Southern Illinois, grandma’s Doral cartons, and Paducah gas station cigarettes—but make no mistake, he’s lived it. The rooms, the relapses, the rollercoaster of finding peace in a loud-ass world. He gets honest about masculinity, depression, and why vulnerability is a hell of a lot scarier than any open mic.

This one’s for anyone who’s tired of hiding. You don’t have to pretend anymore. Just press play.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Honest Conversations

02:08 Returning to Recovery: Megan Gehrs and Bree Badgley

05:01 Personal Struggles: Divorce and Alcoholism

12:15 The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships

19:52 Mental Health: Anxiety and Depression

25:35 The Journey of Healing and Community Support

26:03 Understanding Human Trafficking and Addiction

35:00 Finding Redemption and New Beginnings

40:41 The Wild Night Out in Mexico

45:43 Rediscovering Life Without Alcohol

51:31 Finding Joy in Sobriety

56:14 The Cost of Addiction

01:01:05 The Importance of Family in Recovery

01:06:15 The Journey of Recovery and Transformation

01:20:13 Reflections on Home and Change

01:23:14 Growing Up in Small Towns: A Unique Perspective

01:26:00 The Struggles of Vulnerability and Masculinity

01:29:18 The Battle with Addiction: A Personal Journey

01:31:07 The Impact of Sobriety on Relationships

01:33:02 The Downfall of a Sports Star: Addiction and Consequences

01:40:13 Finding Humility in Recovery

01:45:59 The Role of Faith in Overcoming Addiction

01:47:50 Understanding Identity and Acceptance

01:59:29 Gratitude for Honest Conversations

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Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance

https://www.mckelveyins.com/

And LightSource Psychotherapy

https://findyourlightsource.com/

Who this episode is for:
- Parents who’ve lost a child and are still standing somehow
- Anyone who’s ever loved an addict and didn’t know how to help
- Folks who’ve been burned by shady recovery programs
- Those struggling with meth, depression, or both
- Anyone trying to make meaning from unimaginable grief
- And anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and lived to tell the tale

This one’s not for the faint of heart.

Shelly Viverito joins the Pondoff’s Anonymous crew to tell a story no parent should ever have to tell — the rise, fall, and redemption of her son Nick, who battled brutal addiction, got clean, rebuilt his life, and then was ripped away by a random, deadly brain bleed. He beat meth. He beat depression. And he still died at 39.

This is a mother’s war story. From locking her door at night during his meth psychosis… to getting a tattoo of his sobriety date… to launching a foundation in his name that now funds sober living for other young men fighting for their lives.

Nick Wilson may be gone, but his light — and his pit bull Jax — continue to move mountains through Shelly’s advocacy, fundraising, and raw honesty.

Learn more:
💥 The Nick Wilson Foundation: https://www.thenickwilsonfoundation.org
💥 Learn to Live Recovery: https://learntoliverecovery.com
💥 Harris House: https://www.harrishouse.org

Time Stamps:
00:00 Introduction to Recovery and Support
02:51 Navigating Personal Stories and Backgrounds
12:51 The Journey of Addiction and Recovery
26:19 Understanding the Impact of Addiction on Families
27:22 The Cost of Recovery Programs
28:44 The Challenges of Interventions
30:34 The Impact of Hope in Recovery
32:18 Navigating Relapse and Recovery
37:30 Finding Support in Recovery Programs
40:10 The Role of Family in Recovery
43:55 The Journey to Independence
53:28 Tragedy and Loss in Recovery
56:35 The Gift of Life: Organ Donation and Its Impact
57:57 Navigating Grief: A Mother's Journey
01:00:02 Finding Purpose Through Pain: Advocacy and Speaking Out
01:02:57 Creating a Legacy: The Nick Wilson Foundation
01:07:34 Community and Connection: The Power of Support Groups
01:12:57 Healing Through Fun: The Importance of Joy in Grief
01:22:33 Creating Community and Support
01:25:06 The Power of Shared Experiences
01:29:50 Fundraising and Community Events
01:31:11 The Importance of Mental Health Awareness
01:34:40 Finding Hope in Tragedy
01:39:04 Celebrating Life and Connection

Sponsored by:
👉 McKelvey Insurance: https://www.mckelveyins.com
👉 LightSource Psychotherapy: https://findyourlightsource.com