Stop the stigma. Sage Nestler, MSW, an LGBTQ+ mental health specialist and leading educator on BPD, joins the podcast to pull back the curtain on one of the most misunderstood mental health conditions. Often villainized or confused with narcissism, Borderline Personality Disorder is actually defined by intense emotional pain and a desperate search for relief. Sage shares his personal journey of being diagnosed after a mental breakdown and how he transitioned from fearing he was "evil" to becoming a specialized advocate for the BPD community.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

In this deep-dive episode, Sage explains the fundamental characteristics of BPD, including mood dysregulation, an unstable sense of self, and the pervasive fear of abandonment that often sabotages relationships. We explore the specific nuances of "Quiet BPD," where emotional turmoil is turned inward through self-harm or eating disorders rather than external outbursts.

Sage also breaks down the power of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in managing daily spiraling thoughts. Whether you are living with a diagnosis or supporting a loved one, this conversation offers essential tools for de-escalation, communication, and radical self-compassion. Learn more about Sage Nestler’s work and advocacy by visiting the National Education Alliance on BPD.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction to Sage Nestler, MSW

01:38 – What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

02:36 – Understanding BPD Mood Dysregulation

03:29 – How BPD Impacts Sense of Self

04:30 – The Reality of BPD in Relationships

07:59 – BPD vs. Narcissism: Ending the Stigma

19:25 – Is it Dangerous to Self-Diagnose BPD?

20:45 – Quiet BPD vs. Traditional Symptoms

27:11 – Supporting Someone with BPD in Crisis

36:06 – What Causes BPD: Genetics vs. Trauma

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
2. How do BPD mood swings feel on a daily basis?
3. Is BPD the same as Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
4. What is "Quiet BPD" and how is it diagnosed?
5. Why do people with BPD have a fear of abandonment?
6. What is "splitting" or black-and-white thinking?
7. Can BPD be treated with medication?
8. How does DBT help with emotional regulation?
9. Why is BPD often misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder?
10. What causes BPD: is it genetic or trauma-based?
11. How should you support a partner with BPD during a crisis?
12. Why is BPD more commonly diagnosed in those assigned female at birth?
13. What is a "Favorite Person" in the context of BPD?
14. How can someone with BPD manage impulsive behaviors?
15. Why is there such a heavy stigma around BPD in the media?

#BPD #MentalHealth #QuietBPD

"The second I feel that I am cured and it no longer exists, is the moment that it invites itself back in." In the conclusion of our powerful conversation, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) Aja Chavez joins host Terry Maguire to move beyond symptoms and into the real work of recovery. We tackle the "uncomfortable conversations" that save lives, including how to decode the "FINE" acronym and why you must directly ask about suicidal thoughts.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

Aja Chavez brings both professional expertise and the lived experience of surviving a 2008 suicide attempt to discuss depression as a chronic condition that requires long-term management, much like diabetes. This episode provides a practical roadmap for those feeling like a burden, explaining how medication provides a "floor beneath your feet" and how to build a personal "wellness wheel" that incorporates therapy, spirituality, and even the smallest moments of joy. Whether you are struggling to get out of bed or trying to reach a partner who is pushing you away, Aja’s blunt clinical insights and compassionate perspective offer a way forward.

About Our Guest: Aja Chavez, LMFT, LPCC, is a clinical expert specializing in adolescent mental health and crisis intervention. She is a dedicated advocate for lowering barriers to care and helping individuals rediscover their worth through evidence-based therapy and holistic wellness.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – [Intro: Why Depression is Never Fully "Cured"]

01:04 – [Review: Laziness vs. Clinical Depression]

05:54 – [The Lies Depression Tells: "You Are a Burden"]

09:28 – [Why Therapists Don't Give You a "Lies vs. Truth" List]

12:36 – [How 988 and Crisis Hotlines Actually Help]

14:26 – [Managing Depression Like Diabetes]

17:22 – [Decoding "FINE": F***ed Up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional]

19:25 – [How to Support Someone Who Pushes You Away]

22:42 – [Finding Free and Low-Cost Mental Health Resources]

27:02 – [Why You Should Never Say "At Least..."]

32:01 – [The Power of "Wellness Wheels" and Small Joys]

35:50 – [Medication: "Do You Want to Be Pretty or Dead?"]

42:26 – [The Role of Prayer and Spirituality in Recovery]

47:31 – [The Safest Move: Asking Directly About Suicide]

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. Is clinical depression a permanent condition?
2. How can I help someone with depression who refuses help?
3. What does the "FINE" acronym mean in mental health?
4. Why does depression make me feel like everyone is better off without me?
5. How do I find therapy if I don't have insurance or money?
6. Can I use the 988 crisis line if I'm not in an immediate emergency?
7. Does depression medication change your personality or make you a "zombie"?
8. How can I tell if my teenager is depressed or just being moody?
9. What is a "wellness wheel" and how do I build one?
10. Is it okay to ask someone directly if they want to kill themselves?
11. Why shouldn't I tell a depressed person they have "so much to be grateful for"?
12. Can prayer and medication work together for recovery?
13. Why is irritability a sign of depression instead of sadness?
14. How do I support a partner when they get mean or defensive?
15. What are "glimmers of joy" and why do they precede hope?

#depressionrecovery #mentalhealthsupport #988lifeline

Ever stared at your to-do list and wondered, "Am I depressed or am I just lazy?". You're definitely not the only one searching for that answer. In this episode of RECOVERable, host Terry McGuire is joined by Aja Chavez to peel back the layers of a condition that often hides in plain sight. Aja Chavez is an EMDR-trained Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT) & Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC) who offers a perspective that is as rare as it is vital: she is both a clinical expert and a suicide attempt survivor.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

Depression isn't always sitting in a dark room with the blankets pulled over your head. For some, it feels like a "warm, heavy weighted blanket" or a "stage four clinger" that robs you of your ability to connect with joy. Aja shares her personal journey from a high-achieving 20-something who "had it all" to the moment she realized her internal dialogue was a lie designed to keep her in a shame spiral.

We dive into the "train whistle" warning signs you need to watch for and how "contrary action" can save your life when the darkness starts to feel like a "nice friend". This isn't just a clinical lecture; it’s a conversational toolkit for anyone navigating the muddy waters of mental illness. If you've ever felt "other" or like you missed the life rulebook, this episode is for you.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction to RECOVERable and guest Aja Chavez

01:35 – What does depression actually feel like?

03:54 – The #1 search: Am I depressed or am I lazy?

06:47 – Why depression is a medical condition, not a choice

10:53 – High-functioning depression: Hiding in plain sight

13:02 – Aja’s story: When depression feels like a "nice friend"

23:08 – Dropping the mask and asking for help

30:48 – The "Train Whistle": Identifying early warning signs

37:01 – Wellness plans and the power of "contrary action"

42:21 – Why do I feel depressed for "no reason"?

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. Am I depressed or am I lazy?
2. What does clinical depression feel like?
3. How do I describe depression to someone who has never felt it?
4. Is depression a medical condition or a mood disorder?
5. What are the different types of depression diagnosis?
6. How can I tell the difference between sadness and depression?
7. What is high-functioning depression?
8. Why do high achievers struggle with mental health?
9. Can you be depressed if your life looks perfect from the outside?
10. What are the first technical signs of depression?
11. How does irritability link to depressive episodes?
12. Why does depression make it hard to do simple tasks like showering?
13. What is "contrary action" in mental health treatment?
14. Can you be depressed for "no reason"?
15. How do I identify my own early warning signs?

#mentalhealth #depressionrecovery #highfunctioningdepression

Stop being the thermometer that reads the room and start being the thermostat that sets the temperature. In this deep dive, emotional regulation expert Alyssa Blask Campbell (New York Times Bestselling Author and CEO of Seed & Coach) reveals why our reactions are often "learned habits" and how we can regain self-control in high-stress moments. Whether you are navigating a toddler's meltdown, a workplace panic attack, or a heated argument with a partner, understanding your nervous system is the key to changing the outcome.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/
Learn more about Alyssa’s work at Seed & Sew: https://www.seedandsew.org/

Alyssa explains the science of the Vagus Nerve—the "muscle" of your parasympathetic nervous system—and why TikTok is obsessed with it. You’ll learn why "hiding" your feelings actually fuels anxiety and how "cold exposure" or "humming" can physically reset your body's fight-or-flight response in seconds. We also explore the revolutionary idea that behavior is never the problem; it is merely a symptom of an unmet need.

By the end of this episode, you will have a toolkit of grounding techniques that actually work and the insight to stop "shutting down" when things get hard. Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., is the author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions and Bigger Kids, Bigger Feelings.

Stop reacting and start responding. Emotional development expert Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., explains how to understand and fix your unique nervous system today. Feeling overwhelmed, snappy, or like you're constantly "treading water" just to stay afloat? You’re likely living in a state of nervous system dysregulation. In this episode, New York Times bestselling author Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., breaks down the science of emotion regulation and why most of us never learned these essential adulting skills in our youth.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

Learn more about Alyssa’s work at Seed & Sew: https://www.seedandsew.org/

We dive deep into the crucial difference between "coping mechanisms" that provide temporary dopamine hits—like substance use or impulsive shopping—and "coping strategies" that produce lasting serotonin and oxytocin to truly calm the body. Alyssa introduces the Collaborative Emotion Processing (CEP) method, explaining how our unique sensory systems—including proprioceptive and vestibular senses—dictate how we experience stress and how we must recharge.

Whether you are navigating "sensory mismatches" in your marriage, trying to handle a child’s grocery store meltdown, or recovering from trauma, this conversation provides a roadmap to self-awareness and self-control. Discover insights from her New York Times bestseller, Tiny Humans, Big Emotions , and learn why "microdosing" self-regulation throughout the day is the key to lasting peace.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Intro: The "Only Way Out is Through"

10:33 – What is emotion regulation?

28:09 – How do I know if I'm dysregulated?

40:19 – Does nervous system reset actually work?

41:41 – What is the fastest way to calm myself down?

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. What is the difference between emotion regulation and self-control?
2. How do I know if my nervous system is dysregulated?
3. Why do I use online shopping or social media to cope with stress?
4. Does a nervous system reset really work or is it just buzzword hype?
5. How does childhood trauma affect my adult stress reactions?
6. What is the fastest way to calm down during a moment of rage?
7. Why am I so sensitive to small sounds like clicking or chewing?
8. How can I stop being sarcastic and snippy when I'm stressed?
9. What are "legacy blessings" and "legacy burdens" in parenting?
10. How do I handle a sensory mismatch with my partner or child?
11. Is deep breathing actually effective for regulating emotions?
12. What is the proprioceptive sense and how does it help with anxiety?
13. How do I stop "treading water" and start actually healing?
14. Why can't a dysregulated adult calm a dysregulated child?
15. What are the best tools for "microdosing" self-regulation?

#nervoussystem #emotionregulation #parenting

Relapse isn’t failure — it’s feedback. This conversation explores why relapse is a normal part of addiction recovery and how to use it as data to build a powerful relapse‑prevention plan.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

Dr. Jasleen Chhatwal, a board‑certified psychiatrist and addiction medicine physician, explains that addiction relapse prevention strategies hinge on self‑awareness and preparation. You’ll learn why relapse in addiction recovery often reveals hidden triggers, how to identify stressors and cravings early, and why shame‑free support from loved ones matters. We unpack the difference between sobriety and holistic recovery, showing that addressing trauma and mental health is vital to staying well. The video also highlights the signs of addiction and what it means to be a functional addict so you can recognize subtle warning signs before they spiral.

Beyond personal insight, you’ll get compassionate tips on how to talk to someone with addiction without confrontation and how to build a relapse‑prevention plan that works. We cover the stages of addiction recovery, treatment options like medications and 12‑step programs, harm‑reduction approaches, and how to integrate community support. You’ll hear why willpower alone isn’t enough and why hope and intentionality are key. We also tackle co‑occurring mental health issues, signs of trauma and addiction, and what to do when you’re worried about your drinking. Whether you’re struggling yourself or supporting a loved one, this video offers practical tools to avoid relapse, cultivate self‑compassion, and seek help without stigma.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction & why relapse is part of recovery
02:30 – Learning from relapse & building prevention strategies
05:45 – Hope, harm reduction & staying sober long‑term
08:20 – Recovery vs sobriety & trauma triggers
11:55 – What is a functional addict? Subtle signs you might miss
15:50 – Treatment options: medication, 12‑step & personalized care
18:45 – Compassionate conversations: how to talk to someone with addiction
24:30 – Signs of addiction & when to seek help
30:00 – Co‑occurring mental health & holistic recovery
34:50 – Final takeaway: love, support & hope in healing

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. Why do addiction relapses happen and what can we learn from them?
2. What are the best addiction relapse‑prevention strategies?
3. How do you build a relapse‑prevention plan that actually works?
4. What’s the difference between recovery and sobriety?
5. What are the signs of addiction and how can you spot a functional addict?
6. How do you talk to someone with a drug or alcohol addiction without making them defensive?
7. What are the stages of addiction recovery and why do they matter?
8. How can you avoid relapse and maintain long‑term sobriety?
9. Can a recovering alcoholic ever drink again — and why is it a slippery slope?
10. Are 12‑step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous mandatory for sobriety?
11. What treatments exist for opioid or alcohol addiction, from medications to support groups?
12. How does trauma drive addiction and why must it be addressed?
13. What are the signs that your coping strategies are becoming unhealthy or addictive?
14. How do co‑occurring mental‑health disorders impact addiction recovery?
15. What’s the first step when you’re worried about your drinking or drug use?

#addictionrecovery #relapseprevention #mentalhealth

Addiction isn’t a moral failing — it’s a chronic brain disorder that hijacks your reward circuitry and turns coping into compulsion. In this episode, Dr. Jasleen Chhatwal unpacks what addiction really is and why so many people use substances or behaviors to self‑medicate pain, trauma or anxiety. She explains that 40–60% of risk is genetic, but genes don’t doom you — understanding your family history allows you to make healthier choices.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/

We discuss how addictive disorders cross all demographics, from CEOs to stay‑at‑home parents, and why trauma and stress can rewire the prefrontal cortex so that cravings and compulsions take over. Dr. Chhatwal debunks the “rock bottom” myth by showing that recovery is a process of weighing pros and cons and learning from setbacks. She breaks down the four C’s of addiction — compulsion, cravings, continuing despite consequences and loss of control — and shares simple ways to spot early warning signs, like secrecy or drastic behavior changes. You’ll learn how to ask caring, observational questions instead of accusing someone and why emotional literacy can prevent future substance use.

⏱️ Chapters:
00:00 – Intro: Addiction Defined & Brain Hijack
01:20 – Self‑Medication, Trauma & Feeling “Normal”
04:30 – How Families Can Support Without Enabling
12:54 – Genetics vs Moral Failure: Myths Busted
15:58 – Stereotypes vs Reality: Addiction Affects Everyone
19:11 – Root Causes: Trauma, Mental Health & Brain Development
20:38 – Do You Need Rock Bottom? Motivation & Recovery
23:50 – The Four C’s: Compulsion, Cravings, Consequences, Control
26:29 – Warning Signs & How to Talk About Addiction
29:35 – Is My Kid Using Drugs? Teen Behavior & Emotional Literacy
33:52 – Why Do People with Addictions Lie? Confabulation Explained
37:15 – Why Can’t Addicts Just Quit? Brain Hijack & Treatment
40:30 – Process & Behavioral Addictions: Work, Gaming, Porn
43:24 – When Does a Habit Become an Addiction? Functional Impairment
45:31 – Compassionate Boundaries & Community Support
49:41 – Moderation vs Sobriety & Harm Reduction
51:48 – Harm Reduction & Hope: Meeting People Where They Are
52:07 – Closing & Next Episode Teaser

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

1. What is addiction and how can someone overcome it?
2. What are the early warning signs of addiction?
3. Is addiction genetic or a choice?
4. Why do some people become addicted while others don’t?
5. How do trauma and mental health issues cause addiction and self‑medication?
6. What is “rock bottom” in addiction recovery and do you need to hit it?
7. What are the four C’s of addiction (compulsion, cravings, consequences and control)?
8. How can I help a friend or family member with addiction without enabling them?
9. Why do people with addictions lie so much?
10. Why can’t addicts just stop even when they want to?
11. Can you be addicted to things like work, gaming, porn or food?
12. When does a habit become a full‑blown addiction?
13. How do you know if your teenager’s “weird” behavior is drug use or something else?
14. Can moderation work, or do you need complete sobriety for recovery?
15. What is harm reduction and why is it important in addiction treatment?

#addiction #mentalhealth #recovery

ADHD isn’t laziness; it’s a neurodevelopmental difference that affects attention, executive function and impulse control. In this eye‑opening conversation with child psychologist Dr. Carrie Jackson, we explore what ADHD really is and why many people’s organizational skills lag by about 30%. You’ll learn how inattention and hyperactivity manifest across the lifespan, why it’s not a knowledge problem but a challenge in acting on intentions, and how misunderstood “ADHD paralysis” keeps you stuck on tasks. Learn science‑backed ways to break paralysis – from changing your environment and using body doubling to working in short two‑minute bursts.

Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/
Learn more about Dr. Carrie Jackson: https://www.drcarriejackson.com/

Dr. Jackson also debunks myths about stimulant medication: it targets dopamine and norepinephrine, calms impulsivity and even improves emotion regulation and social skills. Untreated ADHD, however, is linked with accidents, health complications and shorter life expectancy, while proper treatment significantly reduces the risk of substance use disorders by about 40%. For parents, she offers executive function tips, visual schedules and time‑blocking strategies—start with just three important tasks and block realistic calendar slots to avoid burnout. We discuss 504 plans, flexible seating and other accommodations that level the playing field at school and work. Finally, we address relationships: how to explain ADHD to your partner, use non‑judgmental language and focus on positive reinforcement. ADHD is a brain difference, not a flaw; with support, self‑awareness and the right tools, you can thrive.

⏱️ Chapters:
00:00 – What Is ADHD? Neurodevelopment & Executive Function
04:12 – ADHD Time Management & Parenting Morning Routines
08:50 – ADHD vs Anxiety: Overlap & Differences
13:30 – Medication Myths: Benefits vs Stimulant Fears
18:20 – Untreated ADHD Risks & Substance Use
22:45 – ADHD Paralysis, Body Doubling & Time Blocking Tips
29:10 – Accommodations, Relationships & Final Takeaways

❓ Questions the Video Answers:

What is ADHD and how does it affect executive functioning?

Why are organizational skills often 30% behind in people with ADHD?

How is ADHD different from anxiety and depression?

What are the signs of ADHD time blindness and how do you manage it?

What is ADHD paralysis and how can you stop procrastination?

How does body doubling help with task initiation and focus?

What are effective time‑blocking and time management tips for adults with ADHD?

Are ADHD medications safe, and what benefits do stimulants provide?

What are the consequences of untreated ADHD on health and lifespan?

Does treating ADHD reduce the risk of substance use disorders?

How can parents create morning routines and visual schedules for ADHD kids?

What accommodations can schools or workplaces provide for ADHD?

How do you explain ADHD to your partner and repair relationships after impulsivity?

Is ADHD a disability or a strength, and how can you embrace both?

How can you focus with ADHD without burning out or feeling overwhelmed?

#ADHD #MentalHealth #TimeManagement