Come join Christine, Hallie, and David as we share silly and serious reflections on life and inner relating.

In this episode, we respond to a listener's insightful quote from Bob Falconer, then David shares a post he's been working on about "What Parts Prefer."

Have you ever wondered how to tell if you are dealing with a target part from Self or from another part?

David shares his experience of the qualities of being that parts tend to prefer (The open, inviting nature of Self rather than the often controlling nature protective parts may have).

We finish by doing another fun speed round of responses to Hallie's Notes.

Please continue to share your notes in the comments, and we will respond in our next podcast episode!

00:00 Be a Student of Your Client’s Inner World
02:09 Learning the Client’s Language and Trusting Their Wisdom
07:37 Invitations Rather Than Direction: A Different Way of Guiding
10:50 The Embodied Difference Between Openness and Control
14:29 Hypotheses Rather Than Assumptions: Being Willing to Be Wrong
20:30 Sensitivity, Language and the Guide’s Own Agenda
25:07 Welcoming Our Own Parts as Guides
32:11 Do We Need to Heal, or Do We Just Need to Be Loved?
33:23 The Headless Way, Stillness and Compassion
36:12 “You Make Sense”: Understanding the Whole Person

Hallie guides David in welcoming what is alive in him, which organically leads to the witnessing, redoing, retrieving and offering of secure attachment to a young, vulnerable part.

This is a masterclass in how honoring every part naturally leads to parts relaxing and allowing Self to attune lovingly to whatever arises.

If you have parts who feel embarrassed to cry in front of others, parts who have theories that want to be heard, or parts who take you out completely when approaching something vulnerable, they will feel seen and less alone watching this episode.

I loved this session so much and think you will, too.

-Christine

00:00 – Introduction to David’s live IFS session
03:21 – Meeting the protective parts that monitor what is shared
10:35 – Exploring the belief that nobody can see us cry
15:08 – Making space for grief and the fear of tears
20:56 – Staying with blankness and difficult feelings
25:27 – Exploring grief and the loss of David’s Mum
30:53 – Revisiting childhood experiences of being teased for crying
35:00 – Meeting anger, shame and childhood struggles with belonging
44:47 – The fear of being noticed and not being good enough
49:00 – Imagining a different experience of childhood
53:39 – Reflecting on the adults who could have offered support
59:55 – Discovering what the younger part needs
1:09:37 – Offering reassurance, connection and permission to cry
1:14:00 – Reflecting on the session and the experience
1:20:00 – Final reflections and podcast sign-off

The Besties are back!!!

It's Season 2 of the Self Led Besties Podcast, and in this first episode, Christine, Hallie, and David have a playful conversation about both the art and science of Internal Family Systems. They laugh, get deep and personal, and mix a lot of great metaphors.

And, stay tuned for the lightning round in which Hallie reads many of her inspired sticky notes and everyone responds with one sentence! Please share in the comments the ways in which you experience IFS as both an art and a science, or what your desk notes might say. :) We'd love to hear from you!

00:00 Welcome Back & Halle's Notes
02:40 Is IFS More Art Than Science?
07:00 The Myofascial Release Metaphor
09:20 The Map Is Not the Territory
13:20 Performing IFS & the Pressure of Evaluation
16:25 Learning the Principles & Improvising
19:55 IFS as Painting, Play & Creativity
24:05 The Art AND Science of IFS
28:40 The Quick-Fire Notes 31:45 Resistance Is Valuable
33:30 Closing & Reflections