If you want to know whether the boy can really learn, why can't you just ask?

Rabbi Klapper explains that when someone asks whether a potential chosson is a talmid chacham who knows how to learn, you should not answer. If the girl's side truly wants to know, the tools are in their own hands: the father can sit and learn with the boy himself, or send him to a trusted rav or talmid chacham to be tested. What 'talmid chacham' even means differs entirely depending on who's asking - every family's level is different. So it's their responsibility to check in a permitted way. And if they choose not to, that shows it isn't so important to them and they accept him as he is - which means you still may not reveal this information.

A subtle, practical halacha - listen in and come back tomorrow.

Hosted by Rabbi Ari Klapper and produced by Eli Podcast Productions, this episode is part of the Real Judaism series, available on RealJudaism.org. Don't forget to subscribe and share to stay connected with our daily lessons and timeless Torah insights!

When does staying silent about a shidduch become 'standing by your brother's blood'?

Rabbi Klapper covers two categories that must be shared in a shidduch. First, a serious hidden condition - a genetic or chronic disease, or someone internally weak and sickly - should be revealed, following all the rules of to'eles: know with complete clarity it's real, don't exaggerate, and keep the proper kavanah. Second, if one side leans toward apikorsus - not believing parts of the Torah, or being mevazeh talmidei chachamim - and you know it as fact, you must tell the other side. This falls under lo saamod al dam rei'echa, not standing by while your brother is endangered. Both must be fully verified with all the rules of to'eles, but both must be said.

Serious halachos handled with care - tune in and return tomorrow.

Hosted by Rabbi Ari Klapper and produced by Eli Podcast Productions, this episode is part of the Real Judaism series, available on RealJudaism.org. Don't forget to subscribe and share to stay connected with our daily lessons and timeless Torah insights!

Can a person's grandparents' sins be used to sink his shidduch?

Rabbi Klapper teaches that it is forbidden to embarrass someone over the deeds of their ancestors. If a person is a baal teshuvah - a wonderful person, a yerei Shamayim with fine midos - the fact that his parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents lived far from Torah is no reason to ruin his shidduch. In our generation, the Chofetz Chaim reminds us, baalei teshuvah are exceedingly chashuv. Putting someone down for what earlier generations did falls squarely into the category of lashon hara, and one may not speak about it.

A powerful reminder about judging people for who they are - listen in and come back tomorrow.

Hosted by Rabbi Ari Klapper and produced by Eli Podcast Productions, this episode is part of the Real Judaism series, available on RealJudaism.org. Don't forget to subscribe and share to stay connected with our daily lessons and timeless Torah insights!