Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

It’s sweaty as hell in the studio and the boys are struggling. Ryan farts in front of a deer and it judges the fuck out of him. The boys speculate about the new Elizabeth Homes documentary. This leads them to break down sociopaths with their particular brand of arm chair psychology. Then Ryan reveals his theory on why rich people jails exist. Andy gets his ass best on the news during hema class and this delights Ryan to no end. Andy then describes Buhurt to Ryan who refuses to recognize it as being close mma. Then they fantasize about how badly Andy would draw after a series of massive concussions. This leads them to discuss the most respectful way to euthanize Andy. This gets worse when Andy accidentally drives to his daughter’s school instead of Ryan’s apartment. Ryan accidentally throws his sunglasses case out the window after he puts his sunglasses on and Andy accidentally throws away his sleep medication and has to fish it out of the trash. Ryan talks about the epidemic of white guys with sloppy low hangers while Andy tries to fix is “escaping ballsack” problem. Then Ryan blames the judgmental deer for his mean man behavior. Andy reveals the secret to his happy marriage which makes Ryan compare him to train car hobo. Andy tries to convince him he’s not a hobo but fails when it’s revealed he eats beans right out of the tin. Then Andy has a classic meltdown about Ryan’s “compliments”. Andy reveals the story of a a killer sheep dog. Then the boys lament how creepy the scoliosis test being done in public at gym time. Then the boys talk about gay twins.

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Ryan tries to derail the intro completely and Andy is not having it. Andy shows up on time and Ryan roasts him for it and suggests that Andy should do hard drugs in his car before the show. Ryan is addicted to Spin Drifts and is worried about the losing his teeth. Fran tempts Andy into moving into his warehouse with instant oatmeal. Andy has a rough morning which delights Ryan to know end. Andy drives over a bag of dog shit and gets it glued to his tire. Ryan and Andy break down how much dog shit is on the streets of Los Angeles. Then they pitch a Batman movie where all the bad guys leave dog shit everywhere. Then the pitch a Batman who hangs out on Only Fans and Reddit all day. Then Batman gets confused by virtual reality about whether or not he banged Harley Quinn and spends his day arguing with Grok and Alfred loses a million and a half dollars in google play gift cards to phone scammers. Andy finds out that men seek admiration and women seek adoration but he thinks his is reversed. Ryan will not accept compliments on his meals. Ryan asks why firefighters don’t use raw sewage to fight fires. Andy reasserts that fat guys who eat butt absolutely munch box too and he’s sick of the incorrect assumptions. Andy has a new game where he puppets his wife’s butt cheeks like they’re arguing with each other. Ryan says Andy should be in a freak show but not a “good one”. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with a picture of George Bush sr.’s wife.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

Andy has a dream that Ryan got his wife to marry him by taking D pics at the Grand Canyon. Ryan laments the loss of school busses while Andy has a rough morning taking his kid to school. Andy gets hit with a broom by his bus driver and learns an important life lesson. Ryan gets creeped out by his gym teacher and the boys talk about how insane middle school architecture is. Andy gets nervous about doodie stains so he uses a measuring cup in the bath. Ryan fantasizes about Andy’s parents killing him. Andy reveals a secret journal tracking certain changes and Ryan loses it. Andy is going to a puppet birthday party and Ryan is livid. Ryan wants to create a personification of Andy’s brain to watch what it would do. The boys talk about celebrities slumming it with gambling ads. Andy and Ryan do impressions of Morgan Freeman doing ads for ridiculous bullshit. The boys talk about how great they feel eating garbage. Ryan comes up with an idea for bj monkey meat that Andy does not approve. Ryan and Andy then discuss the Crusades with excellent historical detail.