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It’s sweaty as hell in the studio and the boys are struggling. Ryan farts in front of a deer and it judges the fuck out of him. The boys speculate about the new Elizabeth Homes documentary. This leads them to break down sociopaths with their particular brand of arm chair psychology. Then Ryan reveals his theory on why rich people jails exist. Andy gets his ass best on the news during hema class and this delights Ryan to no end. Andy then describes Buhurt to Ryan who refuses to recognize it as being close mma. Then they fantasize about how badly Andy would draw after a series of massive concussions. This leads them to discuss the most respectful way to euthanize Andy. This gets worse when Andy accidentally drives to his daughter’s school instead of Ryan’s apartment. Ryan accidentally throws his sunglasses case out the window after he puts his sunglasses on and Andy accidentally throws away his sleep medication and has to fish it out of the trash. Ryan talks about the epidemic of white guys with sloppy low hangers while Andy tries to fix is “escaping ballsack” problem. Then Ryan blames the judgmental deer for his mean man behavior. Andy reveals the secret to his happy marriage which makes Ryan compare him to train car hobo. Andy tries to convince him he’s not a hobo but fails when it’s revealed he eats beans right out of the tin. Then Andy has a classic meltdown about Ryan’s “compliments”. Andy reveals the story of a a killer sheep dog. Then the boys lament how creepy the scoliosis test being done in public at gym time. Then the boys talk about gay twins.

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Ryan tries to derail the intro completely and Andy is not having it. Andy shows up on time and Ryan roasts him for it and suggests that Andy should do hard drugs in his car before the show. Ryan is addicted to Spin Drifts and is worried about the losing his teeth. Fran tempts Andy into moving into his warehouse with instant oatmeal. Andy has a rough morning which delights Ryan to know end. Andy drives over a bag of dog shit and gets it glued to his tire. Ryan and Andy break down how much dog shit is on the streets of Los Angeles. Then they pitch a Batman movie where all the bad guys leave dog shit everywhere. Then the pitch a Batman who hangs out on Only Fans and Reddit all day. Then Batman gets confused by virtual reality about whether or not he banged Harley Quinn and spends his day arguing with Grok and Alfred loses a million and a half dollars in google play gift cards to phone scammers. Andy finds out that men seek admiration and women seek adoration but he thinks his is reversed. Ryan will not accept compliments on his meals. Ryan asks why firefighters don’t use raw sewage to fight fires. Andy reasserts that fat guys who eat butt absolutely munch box too and he’s sick of the incorrect assumptions. Andy has a new game where he puppets his wife’s butt cheeks like they’re arguing with each other. Ryan says Andy should be in a freak show but not a “good one”. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with a picture of George Bush sr.’s wife.

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Andy has a dream that Ryan got his wife to marry him by taking D pics at the Grand Canyon. Ryan laments the loss of school busses while Andy has a rough morning taking his kid to school. Andy gets hit with a broom by his bus driver and learns an important life lesson. Ryan gets creeped out by his gym teacher and the boys talk about how insane middle school architecture is. Andy gets nervous about doodie stains so he uses a measuring cup in the bath. Ryan fantasizes about Andy’s parents killing him. Andy reveals a secret journal tracking certain changes and Ryan loses it. Andy is going to a puppet birthday party and Ryan is livid. Ryan wants to create a personification of Andy’s brain to watch what it would do. The boys talk about celebrities slumming it with gambling ads. Andy and Ryan do impressions of Morgan Freeman doing ads for ridiculous bullshit. The boys talk about how great they feel eating garbage. Ryan comes up with an idea for bj monkey meat that Andy does not approve. Ryan and Andy then discuss the Crusades with excellent historical detail.

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Ryan gets accosted by a lady hell bent on celebrity love. Then they rip on dues and ladies publicly hitting on people in replies on social media and the total lack of personal accountability by insane people. Andy and Ryan talk about how to build an egalitarian society where everyone’s a social loser. Their solution: tall muscular ladies who intimidate female stalkers and more roasting of reply guys. A lady tries to pay Andy for art in used panties but Andy likes being able to pay rent. Then they come up with a business idea for detectives who solve alcohol deaths. Then they talk about how bad Ryan would be as a police negotiator. The boys then talk about how bad of deal statistically reincarnation is. Andy plugs Gnostic Christianity to a surprisingly receptive Ryan. Andy introduces Ryan to a 90’s preacher who thinks Pokémon is satanic. Then the boys rip on religious math nonsense. A schizophrenic guy gives Ryan a dire warning while he’s hiking. Then they come up with grocery store dildo pranks. Ryan calls Bang Bus the “Blair Witch Project” of porn. Andy drinks magnesium before bed and it gives him crazy dreams then feels betrayed by Ryan who initially recommended it to him and is now gaslighting him. The. Andy has a harrowing experience on the Facebook Buy Nothing group and it’s so humiliating Ryan can hardly listen to it.

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Andy starts eating eggs when he runs out of tofu and quickly realizes his stomach can no longer process it. Ryan muses on pumping meat sauce down his bathroom sink and wiping with aluminum foil. Andy figures out why tits are growing out of his ass then has a meltdown trying to paint titties on a pin up statuette. Ryan figures out a business idea for being a tit doctor that only works on strippers. The boys talk about the legal loopholes for bottom nudity in states that make it illegal. The boys then come up with an idea for “educational strip clubs” where you have to stay in the club until you answer anatomy questions. Andy recommends that Ryan respond to messages from his ex for the lols. Then they talk about the cyclical nature of idiotic relationships. Andy has a revelation about his relationship and Ryan forgets that he kissed Andy’s belly. Andy pitches a podcast where he does bits with his wife while they fuck and Ryan is behind a screen also doing bits. They talk about the robot lady who shocks Trump while he’s sleeping during a press conference. Ryan worries that using Chinese stars to defend his apartment. There’s some human hunting talk and wasting helicopter fuel watching ladies sunbathe naked on Los Angeles roofs. Then they fantasize about Andy being a race car driver who eats chicken wings and shits through a hole in the car floor during races.

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The boys open the show with impressions of Sean Connery being racist. This leads to garrison Keillor impressions. There’s some medi-evac talk. Then they talk about how bad they would both be as spies. Then they talk about why fighter pilots need two people in the cockpit: to operate the cd player and George Formen grills. Ryan insists that scientists don’t know how wings work. Then they come up with a curriculum for fighter pilot school. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with the idea of a “provisional license” and is finally proven right on a fact. Ryan reveals that he would be a bad father because he wouldn’t let his kid touch his Porsche posters with syrup all over their hands. Ryan then invents a shower bidet that’s just a slightly smaller shower for your ass. Andy falls in love with Sword and Buckler while Ryan makes fun of his “tiny little shield”. Ryan, Andy and Google AI get into a heated argument about Bang Bus. This leads to an argument over the legality of blasting fuck noises on giant speakers throughout a neighborhood. This leads to a crash out where Ryan tells google Ai that Andy has an iq of 82. This crescendos with Andy absolutely losing his shit on Ryan and screaming at him.

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The boys talk about the absurd Texas crack down on Delta -8 THC then Andy worries about Ryan being a bad boy. Ryan insists that street fighting is the dumbest idea. Andy figures out a way to charm his way out of crime. Andy reveals the shocking truth about Bang Bus to a heartbroken Ryan and the shocking legal case that decided it. Ryan then reveals the macabre realities of living on a farm. Andy uncovers the truth about lab grown meat to a disgusted Ryan and they milk this disgusting bit forever…and the facts are truly disgusting and unsettling.

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Ryan accuses Andy of being too horny to drive and then recounts a time one of his buddies wrecked his car looking at a hot chick. Andy gets bamboozled by a monster hog at a stoplight. Ryan tries a fake Andy out with a bogus The Rock Mandela effect. Andy gets confused about when to record and sleeps in. Ryan imagines Los Angeles delivery robots offing themselves due to traffic on the 405. Ryan roasts Andy for how he handles podcasting solo. Andy has a dream about seeing the pods from The Matrix. Ryan asserts that he would fight the robot overlords and Andy would sell out humanity for big butts. Ryan comes up with an idea for an app that forces important emails into the spam folder to CYA. Andy gets a comment from long time listener, “Bloody Turd”. Andy and Ryan dissect thirsty Reddit comments. Ryan fantasizes about writing a pickup artist book. Ryan finds out that Hillary Duff is jacked now. Ryan then roasts Andy’s google investigation skills. Andy is not impressed with Ryan’s “Hema, more like FEMA” wordplay. RFJ Jr. starts a “cheap food” cooking show. Los Angeles starts to feel the pressure as all the pipes from 1914 start to burst. Andy’s buddy tries to make a candle out of George Foreman beef grease. Andy ruins the shared waffle maker by trying to make protein powder waffles. The boys bring back some Garrison Keillor impressions. Ryan tries to come up with his boxing name. Andy recommends the Netflix anime, Chainsmoker Cat. Then Andy gets into a Pluderhosen argument post hema.