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The 4 Intimacies

The 4 Intimacies

Written by: Zoë Malcolm
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About this listen

What if intimacy is not about sex? What if intimacy is about building trust?

In this podcast, we explore the concepts of intimacy and attraction, emphasizing the importance of building trust, cultivating acceptance and listening to your body. Reframing the quality of intimacy as a reflection of the questions we ask, I introduce a framework that encourages listeners to focus on:

"How do I need to be loved?"

Started as a an idea to talk with my teenage god-daughter. Now I am inviting you to dive into the 4 attractions and the 4 intimacies with me: Intellectual, Emotional, Physical, and S*xual

Let's be curious, honest & playful - together!

2026 Zoë Malcolm
Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Self-Discovery: Sexual Attraction & Intimacy
    Feb 10 2026

    In this episode of the Four Intimacies podcast, Zoë Malcolm delves into the concept of sexual attraction and intimacy, including how it differs from intellectual, emotional and physical intimacies, even though all require curiosity, honesty and playfulness. She explores sexual attraction and intimacy as an awakening of self-discovery. The conversation explores gender roles and expression, as well as orientation as a birthright that gets to shine. The episode ends with Zoë emphasizing ownership of sexual expression, as well as consent and body-awareness as paths to healing.

    Chapters

    00:00 Introduction: Intimacy and Connection

    01:50 Review of Previous Episodes and Intimacies

    02:45 Sexual Attraction: Gender, Orientation, Expression

    04:24 Sexual Attraction as An Awakening

    07:29 Sexual Intimacy as Mutual and Self-Discovery

    12:30 A Note on Asexuality

    12:57 Sexual Intimacy and Body Awareness

    15:50 Sexual Intimacy is Not The Same. Own It.

    17:22 Sexual Intimacy as Healing

    18:13 There Are No Hierarchies in Intimacy

    18:39 Journal Prompts & Final Words

    Journal Prompts

    1. Of all the keywords - between curiosity, honesty and playfulness – which ones have been the easiest for you when it comes to sexual intimacy? How does it feel in your body – when it is easy?

    2. Which of the keywords have been the hardest? How does it feel in your body when it is “difficult”? What do you think you need for it to become easier?

    3. Do you have a memory of when either curiosity, honesty or playfulness first became easy during sexual intimacy? How did that feel in your body? What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about them?

    4. Do you trust yourself when it comes to sexual intimacy? Where do you or don’t you trust yourself? Do you know why?

    5. Do you trust your partner, or yourself, to be curious, honest or playful during sex? Do you know why – for either of you?

    6. How does it feel to come up with a plan, or a date, around this idea of curiosity, honesty and playfulness? What would your ideal version of this be?

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    Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
    Or on YouTube: @the4intimacies
    Or on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

    or on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies


    Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

    https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/evening-nostalgy

    License code: 8BURJFKVT6IZSBQC

    Show More Show Less
    22 mins
  • Being Playful with Physical Attraction & Intimacy
    Feb 3 2026

    In this episode of The Four Intimacies podcast, Zoë Malcolm delves into the themes of trust, connection, and intimacy, emphasizing the importance of conflict and vulnerability in healthy relationships. She explores the nuances of physical attraction versus sexual attraction, the essence of physical intimacy, and the critical role of consent. The conversation highlights the significance of playfulness in fostering intimacy and concludes with a celebration of friendships that embody trust and acceptance.

    Takeaways

    Healthy intimacy requires conflict.

    Physical attraction is not sexual attraction.

    Physical intimacy is simply being near someone.

    Consent is crucial for healthy physical intimacy.

    Playfulness can diffuse tension in relationships.

    A yes is gorgeous, a no is powerful.

    Setting boundaries is integral to healthy intimacy.

    Playfulness is our birthright.

    Life can be hard, but being alive is a privilege.

    Best friendships teach us about trust, love, and acceptance.

    Chapters

    00:00 Exploring Trust and Intimacy

    02:55 Exploring Physical Attraction

    06:36 Exploring Physical Intimacy

    08:37 Consent & Intimacy

    13:29 Playfulness as "Repair" in Intimacy

    16:37 Playfulness as birthright

    17:31 Journal Prompts

    18:31 Celebrating Best Friends and Intimacy

    Journal Prompts:

    • Create a "Playfulness" journal around the relationships your cherish.
    • Share it with them.
    • Make a date to do more!

    ----
    Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
    Or on YouTube: @the4intimacies
    Or on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

    or on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies


    Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

    https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/evening-nostalgy

    License code: 8BURJFKVT6IZSBQC

    Show More Show Less
    20 mins
  • Bonus: Heated Rivalry + Emotional Intimacy
    Jan 31 2026

    A quick bonus episode/reel on Emotional Attraction and Emotional Intimacy in Heated Rivalry focusing on Scott, Kip and Elena, the emotional intimacy Kings and Queen. There is a reason we all LOVED episode 3. Emotional intimacy was the star.

    Hope you enjoy, and find all the emotional connection, trust and acceptance you need this week!

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    Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
    Or on YouTube: @the4intimacies
    Or on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

    or on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

    Stay curious, honest and playful!

    Show More Show Less
    5 mins
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