In this episode of the Four Intimacies podcast, Zoë Malcolm delves into the concept of sexual attraction and intimacy, including how it differs from intellectual, emotional and physical intimacies, even though all require curiosity, honesty and playfulness. She explores sexual attraction and intimacy as an awakening of self-discovery. The conversation explores gender roles and expression, as well as orientation as a birthright that gets to shine. The episode ends with Zoë emphasizing ownership of sexual expression, as well as consent and body-awareness as paths to healing.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Intimacy and Connection

01:50 Review of Previous Episodes and Intimacies

02:45 Sexual Attraction: Gender, Orientation, Expression

04:24 Sexual Attraction as An Awakening

07:29 Sexual Intimacy as Mutual and Self-Discovery

12:30 A Note on Asexuality

12:57 Sexual Intimacy and Body Awareness

15:50 Sexual Intimacy is Not The Same. Own It.

17:22 Sexual Intimacy as Healing

18:13 There Are No Hierarchies in Intimacy

18:39 Journal Prompts & Final Words

Journal Prompts

1. Of all the keywords - between curiosity, honesty and playfulness – which ones have been the easiest for you when it comes to sexual intimacy? How does it feel in your body – when it is easy?

2. Which of the keywords have been the hardest? How does it feel in your body when it is “difficult”? What do you think you need for it to become easier?

3. Do you have a memory of when either curiosity, honesty or playfulness first became easy during sexual intimacy? How did that feel in your body? What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about them?

4. Do you trust yourself when it comes to sexual intimacy? Where do you or don’t you trust yourself? Do you know why?

5. Do you trust your partner, or yourself, to be curious, honest or playful during sex? Do you know why – for either of you?

6. How does it feel to come up with a plan, or a date, around this idea of curiosity, honesty and playfulness? What would your ideal version of this be?

----
Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
Or on YouTube: @the4intimacies
Or on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

or on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

—

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/evening-nostalgy

License code: 8BURJFKVT6IZSBQC

—

In this episode of The Four Intimacies podcast, Zoë Malcolm delves into the themes of trust, connection, and intimacy, emphasizing the importance of conflict and vulnerability in healthy relationships. She explores the nuances of physical attraction versus sexual attraction, the essence of physical intimacy, and the critical role of consent. The conversation highlights the significance of playfulness in fostering intimacy and concludes with a celebration of friendships that embody trust and acceptance.

Takeaways

Healthy intimacy requires conflict.

Physical attraction is not sexual attraction.

Physical intimacy is simply being near someone.

Consent is crucial for healthy physical intimacy.

Playfulness can diffuse tension in relationships.

A yes is gorgeous, a no is powerful.

Setting boundaries is integral to healthy intimacy.

Playfulness is our birthright.

Life can be hard, but being alive is a privilege.

Best friendships teach us about trust, love, and acceptance.

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Trust and Intimacy

02:55 Exploring Physical Attraction

06:36 Exploring Physical Intimacy

08:37 Consent & Intimacy

13:29 Playfulness as "Repair" in Intimacy

16:37 Playfulness as birthright

17:31 Journal Prompts

18:31 Celebrating Best Friends and Intimacy

—

Journal Prompts:

• Create a "Playfulness" journal around the relationships your cherish.
• Share it with them.
• Make a date to do more!

----
Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
Or on YouTube: @the4intimacies
Or on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

or on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

—

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/evening-nostalgy

License code: 8BURJFKVT6IZSBQC

—

A quick bonus episode/reel on Emotional Attraction and Emotional Intimacy in Heated Rivalry focusing on Scott, Kip and Elena, the emotional intimacy Kings and Queen. There is a reason we all LOVED episode 3. Emotional intimacy was the star.

Hope you enjoy, and find all the emotional connection, trust and acceptance you need this week!

----
Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
Or on YouTube: @the4intimacies
Or on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

or on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

Stay curious, honest and playful!

"When we are hurt, can we be honest?" ...I wasn't sure if I would publish this episode, because of a devastating week. But in this day, where so much of the news seems to say cruelty is the point - where the answer to that question is no - maybe this episode can add something to the conversation about how we can meet each other with empathy, how relationships and communities can build trust, and how the power of our love is built on the ability to answer yes to the emotional intimacy question: "When we are hurt, can we be honest?"

... And now for the "official episode description":

In this episode, Zoë Malcolm delves into the concepts of emotional attraction and emotional intimacy. She emphasizes the importance of acceptance and non-judgment in fostering intimacy, while also exploring the healing power of emotional honesty. The discussion highlights the thin line between emotional attraction and intimacy, and the necessity of vulnerability in relationships. Zoe also introduces the concept of 'repair' as a crucial element in maintaining healthy emotional connections, and provides journal prompts to encourage self-reflection on emotional experiences.
----

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Non-Judgment, Acceptance and Intimacy

03:04 Introducing Emotional Attraction & Intimacy

05:11 Defining Emotional Attraction

08:12 Defining Emotional Intimacy - Honesty

11:42 Why we are sometimes not emotionally honest?

13:08 Valuing Emotional Honesty

13:46 Unhealthy Emotional Intimacy as Manipulation

14:44 Apologize

16:28 The Importance of Repair in Relationships

17:35 Review: Emotional Attraction & Intimacy and Repair

18:20 Vulnerability in Intimacy

18:53 Journal Prompts

21:39 Last words

Journal Prompts:
1. How does the concept of emotional honesty land with you? Does it feel dangerous? Or does it feel freeing?

2. What emotions feel dangerous to you? Which emotions feel safe? Where do you feel them in your body?

3. Is there an emotion you never feel? Or don’t let yourself feel? Or don’t even understand? Can you explain why not?

4. Have you ever felt, or always felt, able to express a “dangerous” emotion? What does that feel like?!

5. When was the first time you realized you could say a “dangerous” emotion and you would be okay?

6. Who is a person you remember telling that you were hurt by them? How did they react? How did you react – do, think, feel - to their reaction?

7. Has anyone told you they were hurt by you? How did you react?

For more...

Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
Or on YouTube - LIKE and SUBSCRIBE: @the4intimacies
Or FOLLOW on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

or FOLLOW on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

A review goes a long way. Thank you for listening! Be curious, honest and playful!

-----

Hi guys! I did this reel on Heated Rivalry & intellectual Attraction/Intimacy to be posted on social media, but thought it would be a great bonus episode. The audio quality is a meh! But I will do more... for each pair: emotional, physical and s*xual.

So... How do Iliya and Shane show up with intimacy?? Actually, I think the Queen/MVP is Svetlana! What do you think?!
--------------------------
For more... :)
Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
Or on YouTube - LIKE and SUBSCRIBE: @the4intimacies
FOLLOW on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies
FOLLOW on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies
A review goes a long way! Thank you!!

We get curious about Intellectual Attraction and Intimacy in Episode One of the Four Intimacies podcast!

For more...

Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies
Or on YouTube - LIKE and SUBSCRIBE: @the4intimacies
Or FOLLOW on Apple Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

or FOLLOW on Spotify Podcasts: The 4 Intimacies

A review goes a long way! Thank you!!
-----

First we define the concepts of Attraction & Intimacy, as a 'practice of one' and a 'practice of two', respectively. Then we explore how Intellectual Attraction shows up in our lives, especially during out formative years. As we go deeper and discuss Intellectual Intimacy, we explore the difference between healthy and unhealthy intimacy, and how that allows us to build trust within ourselves.

At the end, I pose journal questions for listeners to reflect on regarding their own experiences with intellectual attraction and intimacy to encourage a deeper understanding of their relational dynamics.

Keywords

intellectual attraction, intimacy, trust, relationships, emotional intimacy, self-awareness, curiosity, personal growth, podcast

Chapters

00:00 Intro
00:37 Introduction to Attraction and Intimacy
05:24 Understanding Intellectual Attraction

08:12 Intimacy: Healthy vs. Unhealthy

12:15 Intellectual Intimacy & Curiosity

13:31 Intimacy as Invitation

16:13 Intimacy & Awareness

18:41 Intimacy & Free Will

20:47 Final Thoughts & Journal Questions
------

JOURNAL QUESTIONS

Intellectual Attraction

1. How many ways have you been intellectually attracted to someone? What did it feel like in your body? Did you get to act on it, or not?
2. When you were able to act on an intellectual attraction, what came of it? Friendship, a fun moment, life-long bond, or… nothing? How did that make you feel?
3. After this discussion, what are you are looking for in an intellectual attraction? How does it feel to know what intellectual attraction means to you?

   
   Intellectual Intimacy

4. Moving to intimacy - have you had the experience of disagreeing, but still feeling heard?
5. Have you disagreed with someone, but still felt curious about where they were coming from?
6. Is there someone in your life you would like to do this better with? Why? What does it feel like now? What do you want it to feel like?
7. Is there someone with whom curiosity feels impossible? For them? Or for you? What does that feel like?
8. Is there someone in your life with whom you already have a practice of curiosity? What does that feel like?

The 4 Attractions and The 4 Intimacies is a framework for exploring intimacy as a healing path to build trust in relationships and trust in yourself.

What if intimacy is not about sex? What if intimacy is about building trust - in your relationships, in your partner, in yourself?

In this short trailer, or mini-episode, I explore developing trust and cultivating acceptance as keystones to approaching intimacy and attraction.

By redefining the quality of intimacy as a reflection of the questions we ask, this encourages listeners to redirect their focus from "fixing" themselves or others - to answer a deeper question: How do I need to be loved?

Thereby fostering (hopefully!) deeper connections and understanding in relationships.

Let's be curious, honest and playful!

Follow on Instagram: @the4intimacies

Subscribe on YouTube: @the4intimacies

Please note: This content does not replace therapy or connecting with a professional. Please do discuss the information with someone you trust. I encourage it!