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“Don’t Ever Change”- It sounds like one of the nicest things you could say to someone, or have someone say to you. Right?

It sounds loving, and it sounds like something you would say to someone you care about a lot. But what if it’s not loving? If you really sit with it, it just might be one of the worst pieces of advice that we have normalized as a society.

“Don’t Ever Change’.

What it means.. and what it says.. aren’t always the same.

Its sounds nice,for sure.

It also sounds supporting and comforting.

But underneath that, it can carry a different message:

Stay the same.

Stay familiar.

Stay predictable

And if we take it literally..

We are asking someone..

*To stop changing

*To stop growing

* And to stop evolving.

This goes against everything we are supposed to do as human beings.

We are not meant to stay the same.

We are meant to grow

We are meant to learn

To change our minds

And to think differently as we evolve.

“Don’t ever change”. Its Limitation. It’s a bad message buried inside a good one.

And we say it all the time…

We say it in relationships

We say it to our partners

We even say it to our kids.

And most of the time.. we don’t stop to think about what we are really saying or asking.

What we mean is love.

But what we are actually saying is Freeze.Stay as you are. Stay put.

Now, Before we go any further, I want to quickly define the three words for you:

They are not the same, but they are connected.

Change is action.

It’s the moment something shifts- your thinking, your behavior, or your perspective.

Growth is result.

It’s what happens when that change moves you forward- when you learn, improve or become better

And Evolution

is what happens over time. It’s the bigger picture- the way you develop and become someone different as those changes add up.

And without change, the other two don’t happen.

Growth, Change, and evolution should be a part of a relationship- not something that puts it at risk.

Because if two people are committed to growing then the patterns don’t break the relationship- they evolve with it.

Being in a relationship requires both people being willing to adjust the pattern as they both evolve.

This is something nobody talks about;

When you meet someone

You fall in love with them.

You build a life around who they are at that time.

Then: You get engaged.

Before you say “Yes”, I want you to know and understand that you are not marrying a finished product.

You a marrying a version. A moment in time. And that version is going to change.

And so are you.

The truth is:

· You are allowed to change- and you don’t need permission.

· You are allowed to change your mind

· To see things differently.

· To want different things than you once did.

· And You are allowed to become more.

And the right relationship.. the healthy one... don’t punish you for that.

And the right partner will be proud to stand next to someone who wants to grow, evolve and become the best version of themselves.

That’s reality.

"Keep on Keeping On"

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask Podcast

(949)236-1529

Follow along on Instagram:
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Today’s topic is on procrastination.

It’s probably safe to say that we have all procrastinated, if not, we still do.

Telling ourselves “I will do it tomorrow.” Putting things off. Waiting for the right time, the right mood, or waiting for a better version of ourselves to show up and handle it for us.

So today is about what procrastination really is, why we do it, what it’s costing us, and most importantly how to break the pattern.

Procrastination is the act of delaying something you know you should be doing, not because you can’t do it, but because you don’t feel like doing it.

At its core Procrastination is choosing short term comfort over long term results.

You may be saying “I work better under pressure”. Let me just say that sometimes that feels true. Deadlines can create urgency, and urgency can create focus. But you are not truly thriving under pressure, it’s not peak performance, it’s more like last minute survival.

And procrastinating takes its toll on you mentally and physically; effects that you don’t always notice until you are in recovery, until you start breaking the habit, because when you are in it, it just feels normal. But it’s not.

It drains your energy, and not because you are doing too much, but because you are carrying all that mental weight of things left undone, and that’s exhausting!

It shows up as anxiety- that lingering feeling that something is hanging over you.

Then you get irritable -because you are never fully at ease.

Then you feel guilty because you know what needs to be done-and it’s not getting done.

And the hardest part, and this really affects you, you can never fully relax. Even in your down time- there is that voice constantly saying “ get up and do the thing”

So, energy, anxiety, irritability, guilt and relaxation all slowly take their piece of your mind and body. That’s the cost. Is this how you want to feel every day?

There are other areas in life where procrastination becomes costly and the consequences are much bigger.

· First is your health:- Ignoring symptoms- delaying checkups- putting off exercise or nutritional changes you need.

· Relationships- avoiding important conversations, delaying apologies, and not addressing issues.

· Finances- bills, budgeting, and future financial planning- Wills, trusts, Life insurance-

· And opportunities- This is a big one! The call you didn’t make or return- The idea you didn’t act on-waiting too long to start something.

These are moments where procrastination doesn’t just delay progress it can change outcomes- the longer you wait, the fewer options you have- and sometimes they don’t come around twice.

Remember this..

The more you tell yourself you are a procrastinator, the more you believe it- it becomes a part of your identity- and then it becomes a cycle you will keep repeating.

So change your story.

you are not someone who waits.

You are someone who starts.

Procrastination is something you have to learn to master before it becomes the assassin of your dreams.

If you don’t learn to master it- Fear will step in. It will cloud your thinking and will convince you to wait- but if you keep waiting- you don’t move.

Have the courage to start now, even if you just start small.

So decide.

Start.

And move forward.

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

(949)236-1529

Follow along on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theagingmask

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Most of us think that getting dressed every day Is just something we have to do, just another day, another outfit.

Maybe for some of you, getting dressed is about personal style, or what looks good, or maybe it’s just about putting something on and moving on with your day. But there is a layer underneath all of that ,that most of us are not paying attention to, and that is COLOR. Whether you realize it or not, the colors you choose to wear are shaping how you are perceived every single day.

Color is communication.

Color is one of the most powerful and immediate forms of nonverbal communication, it communicates things like, energy, identity, mood, status, color communicates your culture, before a single word is spoken. Color gives people information about you to interpret, and most of this happens quickly and automatically.

When you start to see your clothing colors as communication, getting dressed will stop being a random act and will start to become intentional because you are choosing what you want your color choices to say.

Colors carry certain associations, not because of rules, but because of patterns in how our brain responds to light, contrast and what we are used to seeing.

Some colors feel stronger. Some feel calmer. Some draw attention while other colors don’t.

Colors don’t just look different, they really do communicate differently.

Navy Blue: Navy Blue is one of the most universally trusted and arguably the #1 power color globally and it’s the most well received color. Blue communicates; competence, trust, calm, & stability. This is why you see it so often in business and professional environments.

Black:

Black is one of the strongest colors you can wear. Black is the ultimate power color in fashion and formal contexts. It communicates authority, control and sophistication, its “armor”, it reveals nothing, and commands everything!

Charcoal Gray: this is the quieter cousin of black. Grey communicates, serious, established, and unshakable and is Universally respected in professional settings.

Red: Red is a statement-it is the color of dominance. It commands power and energy, it communicates confidence, energy and presence and it draws attention immediately. Red is the color you wear when you want to be noticed.

White: white on the other hand is the opposite energy of black. White has a different kind of power- white really isn’t a “power color” in the same way as black, navy blue, red and grey. White communicates clarity, cleanliness, and simplicity.

There are so many colors, but NOT every color is meant to communicate power- and that is actually a good thing- Power isn’t always the goal.

Sometimes the goal is:

*to feel approachable

*to feel relaxed and feel like yourself

* and sometimes the goal is not to intimidate people.

Those stronger, power colors communicate authority and structure.

But softer colors , like brown, beige and other neutral colors communicate something different.

They communicate approachability, grounded, and they communicate a more relaxed feel- they don’t demand attention.

At the end of the day color isn’t about following strict rules, it’s not about getting it right or wrong, it’s about awareness.

Remember Color is a tool- and when you start using it that way- your image doesn’t just look better- it makes more sense- and people respond to that.

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask-A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

(949) 236-1529

Follow along on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theagingmask