Episodes

  • We Hurt Where We Care
    Jan 11 2026

    Dr. Eric Goodman is a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobias. He shares his own history with two major phobias (public speaking and flying) he later treated using exposure principles.


    We dive into what fear and anxiety really are, why they so often feel irrational, and how we can relate to them more skillfully instead of trying to get rid of them. Instead of chasing “anxiety‑free” promises, we explore how curiosity, humility, and shared stories can help us live well with fear while still moving toward what matters.


    If you’re someone who has tried to logic your way out of fear, or who feels like anxiety means you’re broken rather than deeply human, this conversation is for you.


    About Dr. Eric Goodman


    • Clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders, OCD, and phobias
    • Lecturer in the psychology department at California Polytechnic State University (Cal Poly) with a private practice in San Luis Obispo, California
    • Author of:
    • The Mindful Freak‑Out: A Rescue Manual for Being at Your Best When Life Is at Its Worst
    • Your Anxiety Beast and You: A Compassionate Guide for Living in an Increasingly Anxious World
    • Social Courage: Coping and Thriving with the Reality of Social Anxiety


    Topics

    • Eric’s personal journey through public‑speaking fear and a severe flying phobia
    • What exposure therapy really is, and why it must be done without safety behaviors
    • Safety behaviors vs. compulsions, and how they keep anxiety stuck
    • The “big, dopey guard dog” metaphor for anxiety
    • Hunter‑gatherer nervous systems in a modern, always‑on world
    • Social media, news, and the rise of generalized anxiety
    • Existential dread: death anxiety, fear of hell, and spiritual abuse
    • Learning to tolerate uncertainty and live alongside fear
    • “We hurt where we care”: anxiety around work, creativity, and relationships


    Chapters


    00:00 Introduction to Fear and Anxiety

    03:14 Personal Experiences with Fear

    08:07 Understanding Phobias and Safety Behaviors

    14:53 The Language of the Nervous System

    21:24 Modern Anxiety in a Digital World

    27:48 Existential Dread and Coping Mechanisms

    33:55 Spirituality, Fear, and Healing

    36:39 Cultural Messages About Fear

    37:31 Understanding Anxiety: A Natural Part of Life

    42:45 The Role of Mindfulness in Managing Anxiety

    45:06 When Anxiety Becomes Detrimental

    48:57 Facing Fears: The Path to Overcoming Anxiety

    53:18 The Wisdom of Fear: Navigating Life's Threats

    57:22 The Dual Nature of Fear: Protection vs. Paralysis

    01:01:18 Reframing Fear: From Pain to Power

    01:05:26 Practical Steps for Managing Anxiety

    01:07:12 Understanding Anxiety as a Protective Mechanism

    01:08:11 Fear: A Companion in Modern Life



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    1 hr and 8 mins
  • Trailer
    Dec 8 2025

    In 4th century Athens, a man was put to death for “corrupting the youth.” What made Socrates so dangerous wasn’t radical sermons or manifestos. It was something much simpler: he asked questions.


    He almost never offered his own answers. Instead, he asked the kind of childlike questions that seem innocent at first, then slowly unravel what we think is obvious. The more people tried to defend their beliefs, the more those beliefs slipped through their fingers—until frustration, even rage, bubbled up where certainty used to be.


    Socrates wasn’t just threatening people’s status or power. He was threatening their sense of who they were — how they made meaning, justified their choices, and kept their deepest fears at bay. Because when we really start asking questions, we’re pushed into a liminal space: the place of not‑knowing. And as a species, we’re not very comfortable there.


    That space can feel like a void. But a void can also be a womb — the birthplace of all possibility. A teacher of mine once said, “I don’t know is God’s true name.” That’s the spirit of this show.


    This is The Gadfly Talks, a podcast where we practice that dangerous but innocent curiosity together. Each episode, we set aside easy answers and ask the questions we’re not supposed to ask — about mental health, meaning, power, and what it really means to be human.


    By stripping away what we think we know, we move closer to what Taoism calls “the uncarved block”: a state of deconditioning, vulnerability, and authenticity. Maybe, like children wondering at the obvious, we can rediscover our shared humanity — if none of us really knows, maybe we’re all in the same boat after all.


    If you’re tired of hot takes and hungry for honest questions, hit follow and join the conversation. Welcome to the podcast where — we think, therefore we ask.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    2 mins